How often do you all message women on LINE or other apps?
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I’m not the type to reach out first. Honestly, I feel there’s no need to message unless it’s something necessary, like arranging our schedule.
However, several women have told me they’d like to hear from me more. I find myself wondering, “What are we supposed to talk about when there’s nothing in particular to say?” That said, when a woman messages me, I don’t mind and I respond normally.
From the woman’s perspective, is it mainly about feeling reassured—and by “reassured,” I mean about the allowance—by staying in touch between dates? Or is it about making the man fall for her and become more emotionally invested?
Am I looking at it too negatively?
I enjoy relationships that feel somewhat like simulated romance, and I realize I’ve encouraged things in that direction myself. But I’m fine with keeping that limited to when we’re together. I’m certainly not so conceited as to think they’re genuinely in love with me.
Of course, I continue seeing these women because I like the good qualities each of them has.
If most people feel that only sending practical messages comes across as cold, I’m thinking I might play along with the romantic aspect over LINE as well, to keep the women motivated.
For reference, I’m asking this with option ④ in mind.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe female member
Since we’re basically like a grandpa and grandchild, we usually exchange one message each way every day.
That hasn’t changed since we started seeing each other.
The other day, we even exchanged messages three times in one day.
It was fun! (lol)
You should exchange LINE contacts with your papa too.
It’s fun—I highly recommend it!
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That’s great.
I’m sure the women are so eager because your terms are good and you’re a generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter).
I’m more of a second-choice-or-later strategy person, and my terms aren’t that good, so I hardly ever hear from women unless I contact them first.
Why not simply tell them that you don’t need to be contacted except to arrange dates? Surprisingly, they might actually be happy to hear that.
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Maybe it’s not the frequency, but that you want more engagement in your everyday conversations and LINE replies?
Even though you may feel that you’re responding properly, your conversations and replies might not actually be the kind of interaction she’s hoping for.
You may think you’re having a proper exchange, but from her perspective, it might not be working at all because she finds it completely uninteresting.
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④, I guess.
I hear hostesses sometimes send LINE messages as part of their sales efforts. I’ve never been to a hostess club in my life, though, so I wouldn’t know.
If they were just sales messages, they probably wouldn’t say things like, “I wish you’d contact me more.”
That said, I do think these women have some affection for the questioner, but probably not to the point of romance. Maybe they just want someone to help pass the time?
If they really liked him, I don’t think they’d say, “I wish you’d contact me more,” because they wouldn’t want to risk being disliked.
Instead, they’d probably keep sending all kinds of topics in an almost painfully earnest and cheerful attempt to get his attention.
But then again, wouldn’t that be no different from the sales messages sent by hostesses?
I don’t think their goal is to “get him hooked.”
Getting someone hooked involves more advanced techniques—like a spider entangling its prey—so that before you know it, you’re already caught up in it.
A woman who specializes in getting men hooked would realize that LINE doesn’t work on the questioner and simply change her approach.
Or perhaps these women sense that there’s something in him that could be opened up through LINE.
What I pick up from his question is that he seems matter-of-fact, yet also thinks things like, “A pseudo-romantic relationship is more fun,” “It’s fine as long as we’re together,” “I’m not arrogant enough to assume they’re genuinely in love with me,” and, “If most people think that limiting our messages to business matters feels cold, maybe I should play along with the romance on LINE too, to keep the women motivated.”
From the women’s perspective, they may be thinking, “This guy has potential.”
Even if he feels he’s acting somewhat romantically when they meet, he may come across as slightly awkward and stiff, while still seeming interested in that kind of relationship. So perhaps they’re trying to ease him into it through the less intimidating medium of written messages.
In other words, they’re trying to get him to open up.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing, so why not properly go along with their invitation at least once? You might discover a new side of yourself.
It’s rare for Flame-san and me to give answers along the same lines, haha.
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I generally message every day. With one particular papa (a male supporter), it’s rare for more than 10 hours to go by without hearing from him.
By the way, a LINE message saying, “I’d like to hear from you more,” could just be part of his sales talk—or maybe he genuinely likes you. But there’s no point speculating endlessly, so I think it comes down to what you want.
If you feel like matching that person’s messaging frequency as much as possible, you probably like them reasonably well.
If you don’t want to match it, maybe you’re not that into them after all.
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Yes! Take the plunge! Try getting really invested in it at least once—or rather, see whether you can really let yourself get immersed.
I totally understand what you mean. I used to keep a certain distance too, always drawing a line somewhere.
These days, I try not to hold myself back like that, and I’m having more fun because of it. You should definitely give it a try at least once.
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If you’re aiming for a pseudo-romantic relationship, send a message whenever you naturally have something you want to share. Being too proud to message first isn’t attractive.
It’s just LINE, after all. Just be yourself. It’s not like you’re bombarding them with messages every day.
Only sending messages about logistics feels more like a transactional relationship to me.
As for me, I probably message about once every three days on average. The topics are roughly split two to one—two started by them, and one by me.
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I only use LINE to coordinate schedules for meeting up.
The women I see understand that I’m not looking for a pseudo-romantic relationship, so things are pretty straightforward in that sense.
Ideally, I’d like to meet about once a month, but that doesn’t always work out. If more than a month passes, sometimes the woman will invite me to meet again.
That said, in your case, if you mainly use LINE to arrange dates, I don’t think it’s a pseudo-romantic arrangement.
But you do act somewhat romantically when you’re together, right?
If so, it’s understandable that she might mistakenly think you’re looking for a pseudo-romantic relationship and send you messages to keep the connection going.
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Communication patterns really depend on the person. Some people only message to arrange dates, while exchanging one message a day is also pretty common. Sometimes you’ll message irregularly and end up having a lively conversation. I’m not particularly picky, so I go along with the woman’s preference.
Isn’t it cute that she says something like, “I’d like you to keep in touch”? I’d think you should just message her. But I guess you’d prefer a slightly more detached relationship. If, as you suspect, her intention is simply to confirm that the relationship won’t fizzle out, you could explain that staying in touch isn’t really your style but that you’ll definitely meet her again, reassuring her about whatever she’s worried about. She might accept that. Who knows, though.
As an advanced technique, when she says she wants you to message her, you can send her LINE messages that are so unbelievably boring she has no idea how to reply. If you keep that up, it may naturally create an atmosphere where she says something like, “You don’t have to message me anymore,” and you’re off the hook. But this is an extremely advanced technique, so I wouldn’t recommend it to amateurs. That’s all from the field.
Taro
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“Do you all do ○○?”—it comes across like you don’t really care and just threw it in there for the sake of having something to write.
Nobody cares what everyone else does. If all you want is to conduct a survey, do it somewhere else.
If a woman is telling you she wants to hear from you more on LINE, then just message her more. If you’re wondering what to send, you can simply ask her directly.
Besides, if she’s the kind of woman who says that, she’s probably messaging you too, so you should have some idea what she wants.
Anyway, coming up with all that just for the sake of your survey must have been quite a bit of work.
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I think it’s probably option ②.
It feels like the question was added mainly to present a long-winded personal theory. Since it was posted by the same person as the previous question, though, it might actually be option ①.
How often women want to be contacted varies from person to person.
As for why your partner is telling you she wants to hear from you more, I think it would be best to ask her directly.
Rather than asking complete strangers here, why not communicate with the person you’re giving an allowance to and pursue a relationship where you genuinely engage with her?
When she says, “I want you to contact me more,” you could simply ask, “Why?” or “Wait, have I been cold toward you?”
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