In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), women I’m seeing often ask for things beyond the support amount we initially agreed on—clothes, daily necessities, moving expenses, cosmetic surgery, and so on.
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When you want to decline tactfully, how do you handle it?
“The nature of the relationship is pseudo-romance.”
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
This is Fullerene!
You say it happens often, but I think it makes a big difference whether it’s happening repeatedly with one woman or with multiple women.
If it’s the former, maybe the allowance isn’t meeting her expectations. But if she’s already reaching the point where she wants to turn you down, then basically, it’s an issue with her personality or abilities. Move on to the next one.
If it’s the latter, either you’re the type who brings out the worst in women, or you’re simply being taken for a fool. You should blame your own poor judgment.
Actually, in that case, the women don’t even see you as a man. They’re putting in the absolute bare minimum—it’s not even pseudo-romance.
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If you find yourself happily buying things for her whenever she asks, take a step back and reflect: “Wow, I’ve really fallen for a woman who’s always asking for handouts.” Then think about how to cut things off as soon as possible.
You’re only dreaming, so this is a good opportunity to wake up.
It’s all just an illusion anyway. The only one getting carried away and enjoying it is the old guy.
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It’s not like I’m pretending to be in love or anything, but she often asks me for things（笑）
I think, “Again?”—but I end up saying, “Sure, sure,” anyway（笑）
Still, I think I should be stricter with the women I’m seeing.
No matter how much they feel like granddaughters to me, having a proper sense of money is really important.
I’ll reflect on that（笑）
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When you’re enjoying buying, go ahead and buy as much as you like. Then, once the excitement starts to wear off, leave without looking back. You may already be at the point where it’s time to move on.
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⑤, I suppose.
If you like her, buy her whatever she asks for. Don’t expect anything in return.
“Pretend romance” isn’t something you demand from the other person—it’s something you do yourself. Don’t ask your partner to provide “pretend romance.”
Falling for someone means admitting defeat. You’re surrendering completely, so give her whatever she asks for. That’s what “pretend romance” is.
And once you stop finding happiness in it, once it stops being fun, that means your “pretend romance” has faded. Cut things off quickly without lingering regrets and look for someone new. Just be sure to tell her, “Thank you for everything. It was a wonderful dream.”
That’s the etiquette of pretend romance.
Don’t expect “pretend romance” from the person you’re seeing. Romance is something you do yourself.
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I think it’s because it’s a form of pseudo-romance.
By continuing to see women who think that way and letting the relationship develop, aren’t you teaching them that they can keep stringing you along little by little?
Alternatively, perhaps they need an additional fee to relieve the stress of providing pseudo-romance to someone in an allowance-based relationship.
If you realize that you may be encouraging women to act this way, I think you can take more fundamental measures to address it.
Personally, I’ve never been subjected to that kind of demand, perhaps because I only consider it romance when there’s no allowance involved. When they need money, they simply ask me to meet them a certain number of times that month.
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