It’s definitely a tricky situation.
Even if you’re a Type C, you could say, “I didn’t have the courage today. Would it be okay if we did it next time instead?”
(Then, of course, after you part ways, you’d probably message him on LINE or something saying, “I’m sorry, but after thinking about it, I don’t think I can do it next time either.”)
The problem is that in cases like this, men start calling it “type fraud.”
And you want to say, “No, no—it’s not fraud. You’re the problem.”
But you can’t really say that, can you?
I think it’s better not to turn someone down on the first day. Spend some time getting to know them before making your decision.
It would also be wiser to avoid vulgar expressions like “I,” “BBA,” or “Bikkuri Donkey.”
Besides, offers are usually plentiful only at the beginning, so you should try to secure a good one.
Please value each offer and treat it with care.
I was lured out by “I’m honestly shocked I even got an offer from you” (lol).
Even if you’re thinking, “There’s no way I can do this with you,” it’s hard to say that directly. I get it haha.
From the man’s side, common excuses include, “An urgent work matter came up, and I have to go back to the office,” or, if you want to embellish it a little, “I have a conference call with the U.S. in an hour.”
Another classic excuse is, “My parent was hospitalized.” Saying they’re critically ill would make it strange for you to be out on a date, so it sounds more realistic to say something like, “They’ve been hospitalized. I think they’ll probably be okay, but just in case, I’d like to stay at the hospital.” On the other hand, when I’ve actually had to cancel a date for that reason, I’ve worried they’d think it was just an excuse and ended up following up separately to explain lol.
Feeling unwell is another standard excuse. You can say that stress from work has upset your stomach. Some women will still come meet you anyway, though—sometimes even making it all the way to the hotel and then having to run to the bathroom. But obviously, that won’t fly when you’re meeting for the first time, so I’d say illness is the safest excuse.
Still, if you’re in your fifties, maybe you’re old enough to try stepping on a few landmines. You could throw out a curveball like, “I had raw oysters for lunch, and I’m not feeling quite right. If I happen to lose my lunch during the proceedings, this won’t be an ‘all-clear ranch’ situation—it’ll be more of a ‘oh-no ranch’ situation.”
For the record, I’ve politely turned someone down with a suggestive joke, saying, “I hurt my back last night, so would it be all right if we just had dinner today?”
Honestly, you’re never going to see each other again, so anything that gets you through the moment is fine. Once you look at it that way, wouldn’t it be more fun to make the excuse a little entertaining?
Taro
If I decide someone isn’t for me, I don’t ask her out in the first place, and I try to politely dodge invitations from women.
Some women can be quite persistent, but in those cases I keep fending them off until they finally give up.
From what my partners have told me, most of them also try to gracefully dodge advances when they’re not interested. If someone is too pushy to shake off, they apparently say they’re on their period to get through the situation, then stop responding afterward.
One not-so-great way of turning someone down that I learned about through the Q&A site is to tell them you want an extremely high allowance.
