I think it really comes down to something simple: even if she’s your favorite, that doesn’t necessarily mean she feels the same way about you.
I understand wanting her to focus exclusively on you. I personally ended up with my current partner because I was looking for a relationship where we would both commit to just one person.
That said, this kind of relationship only works if she feels, both financially and emotionally, that “No matter how much I look elsewhere, I’ll never find anyone better than him.”
I give my partner around ¥800,000–¥900,000 a month in cash, plus about ¥500,000 worth of gifts and other support. But when I talk with friends who are men in the salon, I’m reminded that there’s always someone even more generous out there. So I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have even the slightest worry about what might happen if a wealthier man approached my partner and offered to support her even more.
Still, I’ve chosen to focus on just one person and support her as much as I can while maintaining a balance with my own life. If that isn’t enough, then I can accept that we simply weren’t meant to be and move on without regret.
It’s exhausting to put all your energy into trying to keep the woman you love from leaving you.
Instead, accept that the woman you love may eventually leave you someday—we’ll part when one of us passes away, after all—and aim to have a relationship you can look back on and say, “I have no regrets about this.” That way, you won’t be left feeling needlessly unsettled.
And in the end, I think the relationship will last longer because of it.
Though it did take me quite a long time to meet a woman I could devote myself to completely.
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Judging by the way the question is written, I get the feeling the person asking is a woman（笑）
Anyway, that aside, the question itself isn’t really a big deal. Men have things like that happen too, so you’d probably just think, “They must be busy.”
For a moment, I was going to say, “If that’s what you wanted to say, wait until you’re in a relationship without money involved.” But it’s not that simple. Everyone’s circumstances are completely different, and they usually won’t explain them to you. Even if someone says they’re fine with having a relationship without money, you might still witness something like that firsthand.
When that happens, I suppose the question is: how are they making sense of it in their own mind? If you still like that person, you’ll want to understand them. If not, you probably just think, “Well, that’s as far as it goes.”
Taro
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Is that something a young woman wrote?
So even an old guy like you says, “What’s the psychology behind that?” huh?
Sounds like you’ve never done papa-katsu two days in a row, have you?
I’m an older guy who meets a different papa-katsu partner the day before and the day after, and my answer is: I’m having way too much fun, lol.
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I also went on a date Sunday night, then went on another date with someone else the following Monday night...
But he said he wanted to see me, so what else could I do?
Are you giving the questioner enough of an allowance to have her all to yourself?
Maybe she’s looking elsewhere because she feels something is lacking.
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She’s your favorite PJ, so I’m sure she’s other people’s favorite too, haha.
It’s fine for her to see whoever she wants. If she feels she has a better time with you, she’ll invite you out again.
If you keep that up, depending on the woman you’re seeing, persistence may eventually pay off, haha.
She’ll stop meeting other men.
Or rather, she may find herself unable to meet them anymore… maybe? Haha.
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Your favorite PJ probably has other papas—or maybe she’s actually spending time with her real father.
Are you forbidding her from seeing other papas? As for her state of mind… she may simply be thinking, “My schedule is packed, and I’m busy!”
Maybe she genuinely likes all her papas, or maybe she’s working hard for the money. There’s no way a complete stranger could know.
If you don’t want her seeing other papas, the only option is to provide enough support that she doesn’t need to meet anyone else.
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For her, it’s probably just a matter of:
“Today I’m meeting older guy A, and tomorrow I’m meeting older guy B.”
She might even meet a different older guy C the day after that.
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Just because she was seen walking with someone else the day before, you write it like this…
If anything, I have more questions about the person asking. I’d say they can talk like that only after paying over ¥1 million a month, regardless of whether they meet or not—but even then, they still can’t claim exclusivity.
Ikurasukuora!!!
You should learn this spell. It’ll make you happy.
Though you might get a nosebleed later…
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Is this really about psychology, or have you just been watching too much TV?
Whether it’s the day before or the day of the appointment, she may meet other men or have sex with them.
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I looked up “okini” and found out it’s short for “favorite.” What a creepy-sounding term.
I think the mindset is: “Who do you think you are, paying just a few tens of thousands of yen? The questioner is only buying a few hours of her time the next day, so what she does, where she goes, and who she’s with the day before is none of his business. Don’t get carried away.”
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