Since I work remotely, I’ve been enjoying reading everyone’s answers throughout the day. Thank you.

You may be trying to set yourself apart from other men, but overdoing the gentleman act can work against you. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.

If you wanted her to confirm the amount, you could simply say, “Let me take it out of the envelope and give you ¥___,” instead of speaking so condescendingly. Some women may not want to be seen as the type who eagerly checks the allowance every single time, or may be considerate because they don’t want to make the man uncomfortable, don’t you think?

I don’t think you need to confirm it. Whether it’s 5,000 or 10,000 yen, it doesn’t make that much difference if the arrangement continues. I don’t think you need an envelope or small gift envelope either. I just hand it over loose.

Speaking from the man’s perspective, but— When someone goes out of their way to say that, I can’t help wondering if they’re saying it as a precaution in case the other person later claims, “You never gave it to me.” I think it’s best to understand that whether or not someone checks is up to them. That said, we tell women to check the contents as soon as they receive their allowance at the first meeting, since there have occasionally been issues where the envelope was empty. So women will generally check it on the spot. If they don’t check, I think it’s best not to say anything and simply let it go. On the other hand, if a woman does check it right there, I hope you’ll look kindly on her and think, “She’s a genuine woman who’s properly following the club’s instructions.” The statement “I always give 1.0” also seems so obvious that I wonder if it’s just being included for reassurance. The amount suggested by the club varies, but generally it’s 1.0. If you decide the moment you meet her that you never want to see her again, 0.5 is the usual amount. Giving 0.5 and then saying, “Let’s meet again next time,” is simply being stingy. Whenever someone says something like this, there are always people who respond, “Why say that when it’s still within the rules?” But I’m speaking in general terms, so what you do within the rules is up to you. Still, I think many women feel the way I’ve described here, and the staff feel the same way too. (Though I imagine most staff members wouldn’t say it directly.)

Great job with the remote work. We’re in the same boat—there’s nothing quite as wonderful as being able to sleep in every morning. Even with papas I’ve dated before, including those I met for the first time, I’ve never checked the amount in the envelope right there on the spot. *The platform instructs us to check the contents to avoid problems, but I feel that’s merely a risk-avoidance measure based on the assumption that trouble might occur. Personally, I find it rude to treat someone I’ve just met as if I’m “suspicious of them, just in case,” so I don’t do it. In return, even if the envelope were empty, I wouldn’t complain. In fact, that would be useful information—it would show me that this person isn’t trustworthy enough to continue seeing.* From a business perspective, I assume the platform gives that instruction to avoid trouble and the resulting disadvantages for the company. Since it doesn’t involve the human emotion of trust, I see it as purely a business instruction, haha. However, if someone told me to check it right there, I’d probably say, “Sure, but you really don’t have to worry about it—I trust you.” So I wouldn’t form a particularly bad impression of them. My only slight concern might be wondering whether they’re extremely meticulous and particular, and whether someone as easygoing and scatterbrained as me could be someone they’d want to date. But that’s my issue, so I’ll set it aside. That said, for people doing papa-katsu independently, a reaction like Mac-san’s answer might actually be appreciated by beginners who are planning to do independent papa-katsu. So I think the impression really depends on the person. By the way, while answering questions here, I often wonder why so many people are overly hung up on gender. Of course, I understand that there are differences between the sexes when it comes to intimacy. But we’re all individual human beings with our own ways of thinking, so I don’t understand the need or meaning behind lumping people together and assuming their opinions differ based on gender. A relationship isn’t something where either men or women are inherently superior. So why rely so heavily on your own gender, construct meaningless subjective arguments around it, and try to form opinions based on the other person’s gender...? I also feel that a relationship built around one person thinking they’re “doing something for” the other—that is, taking a superior position—is a sad relationship where both sides look down on each other. To me, dating means engaging with the individual who is “Mr./Ms. ___,” not dealing with categories like boyfriend, papa, woman, or man. If it were a business transaction, then sure, you could simply view the other person as a customer. That’s just my personal opinion.

I tried looking at it from a woman’s perspective, and here’s what I think: 1. If you want her to confirm the amount, just hand it to her from the start in folded bills, without making it conspicuous. 2. If she checks it right there, that’ll only draw more attention. Is this some kind of punishment game? 3. From our perspective, ¥5,000 and ¥10,000 are both within the margin of error. Don’t underestimate a papa-katsu girl. 4. “Please open the envelope and check” is only acceptable when it’s ¥30,000 or more. 5. It seems like you’re expecting an excited reaction after she confirms the ¥10,000—something like, “Thank you so much!” But being told to look impressed over the difference between ¥5,000 and ¥10,000? I mean, I’d play along because I’m a papa-katsu girl, but what a petty man. This clearly isn’t going to make me any money. 6. I wonder if someone once told him, “I opened the envelope later and there was no money inside.” Is he just cautious, or is he trying to flex over ¥10,000? Hard to tell. So yeah, I think it has the opposite effect.