Do you change the allowance depending on whether it’s a dinner-focused date (2–3 hours) or a date that includes an adult relationship (3–5 hours)?
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If you do, I assume you wouldn’t pay just the same transportation allowance as for the first meeting, but what’s the usual amount?
We didn’t really discuss things in this much detail during our first meeting...
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
I only meet my papa twice a month, so we agreed on a fixed monthly amount—the allowance is the same whether we have an adult relationship (intimate) or not.
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It varies.
Dinner dates can last anywhere from 2–3 hours to half a day, sometimes even including a day trip, so it starts at around ¥15,000. It doesn’t change based on the length of the date.
Since we meet for meals fairly often, the average might be around ¥20,000.
For an adult relationship (intimate), it’s basically ¥50,000. In addition to our weekly meetings, if I make time or increase the frequency to accommodate her requests—basically for extra meetings—I try to push myself to meet her, even if it’s ¥30,000 or more.
That said, I’m just a paper airplane whose only selling point is that I’m always available.
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I haven’t changed it.
Even for dinner only, I give her the same amount as when we had an adult relationship (intimate).
That’s only with the one person I decided to continue seeing, though. Before narrowing it down to her, when I was meeting different people, I kept the allowance at 1 for dinner-only dates.
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As far as I know, the allowance often differs between dinner dates and dates involving an adult relationship (intimate).
A papa (a male supporter) I met through Universe Club:
- Dinner dates: 10,000–30,000 yen
- Dates involving an adult relationship (intimate): 50,000–100,000 yen
A papa (a male supporter) I met outside a dating club:
- Dinner dates: 0–50,000 yen, plus other gifts
- Dates involving an adult relationship (intimate): 30,000–200,000 yen
That said, my monthly arrangement papa continued giving me the same allowance even in months when we couldn’t meet at all or didn’t have an adult relationship (intimate).
I think supporters are happy when you increase the allowance later, so I recommend not overextending yourself from the start.
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Do you change the allowance for a meal-focused date (2–3 hours) versus a date that includes an adult relationship (3–5 hours)?
The allowance is completely different for dinner and an adult relationship, right?
I think it’s fine for transportation expenses to stay the same.
Are you going on first dates with the mindset that you’re interviewing the other person?
What do you mean by “interview”?
Also, don’t forget that both parties are evaluating each other—you could absolutely be turned down as well.
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I’m not very good at negotiating, so I usually leave it up to the man. Based on my experience as the recipient, though, many people seem to offer around:
Dinner or drinks only → 10,000 yen+ (5,000 yen+)
Including an adult relationship → 50,000 yen+ (30,000 yen+)
I get the impression that the going rate is lower on apps and other platforms outside of dating clubs, which is probably why you see the amounts in parentheses.
I don’t think it’s good to give too much, either, but even for dinner only, if he gives me 10,000 yen plus taxi fare, I find it really classy—and I’m much more likely to develop a soft spot for him (lol).
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I do change it.
I’ve told women I have an intimate relationship with that there’s no allowance for dinner-only dates, so I don’t pay one in those cases.
That said, if it’s someone I’ve been seeing for a year and we don’t get intimate because, for example, her period suddenly starts, I may give her the usual allowance if she seems like she wants the money.
In a situation like yours, I’d talk it over with her right then and there.
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In the early days, when it was dinner only, I paid 10,000 yen including transportation for up to two hours, regardless of which date it was. I had one arrangement that lasted over a year under those terms.
If it went over two hours, I might pay around 15,000 yen.
The people I’ve been seeing long-term are on a monthly arrangement, so the amount doesn’t change regardless of the breakdown or number of dates. We usually meet about three times a month for around four hours each time.
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