I recently met a man through Letter Date. After having tea at our first meeting, he asked if I was free afterward. When I said yes, he invited me to his place.
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I was understandably uncomfortable with going to his home, so I declined and we went to an izakaya instead before parting ways. However, I was kept out for about five and a half hours in total and was given ¥9,000 at the end of the evening.
Honestly, I feel the allowance was far too low for the amount of time involved. He also said that next time, after having yakiniku, he wanted me to come to his place, so I don’t want to see him again.
In this situation, should I just be honest and tell him I don’t want to meet again? Sorry, I’m still completely new to this. I’d appreciate your advice.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Teramoto from the Shibuya branch here as well!
As for transportation expenses, they’re set at ¥5,000–¥10,000 for the first date only, so there shouldn’t be any particular issue for the gentleman. That said, financial matters are also very important when it comes to chemistry.
As others have said, I also think it may be difficult to continue seeing each other in a way that feels good for both of you. You could tell him that and then cut off contact if you’d like.
Two hours or so would probably be fine, but being asked to commit to five hours right off the bat is pretty surprising, isn’t it? >＜
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Be clear and tell him, “I can’t date someone who invites me to his home right from the first meeting.”
That man…isn’t he confusing this with a dating app?
Also, always confirm where you’ll be going and the allowance on the first meeting.
If it’s meant to cover transportation, ¥5,000–¥10,000 is the usual range, so I think that amount is within it—but it was a rather awkward, underwhelming figure…
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It’s fullerene!
If you don’t feel comfortable blocking someone without saying anything, or you’re worried they might lash out if you block them, it may be better to say one thing first:
“I’ve found someone I’ll be seeing regularly, so I won’t be able to meet anymore.”
Then stop responding. How does that sound?
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Yes. If you’re not interested, just decline the offer—don’t make another date, and block him.
One of the good things about this club is that women also have the right to choose.
At the first meeting, be sure to confirm the allowance and where you’ll go afterward.
In the first place, a papa (a male supporter) who doesn’t tell you the allowance or the details upfront may try to blur the terms later, so be careful.
I hope your next offer leads you to a trustworthy, ideal supporter.
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When someone asks, “Are you free after this?”, what do they mean? Do I need to ask, “How much is the allowance?” I wonder how Paparazzi-san usually approaches someone.
If it’s ¥9,000, I’m fine with leaving after two hours.
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