Why do people say you have to settle down once you turn 30?
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Can’t you do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) after turning 30?
The number of offers changes depending on your age, but between a 30-year-old who looks like she’s in her 20s and someone in her 20s who looks like she’s in her 30s, which is preferable?
Akai from Universe Club here—I’ll answer this one too.
It may be generally true that women in their 20s are more popular, but if it were common knowledge that you couldn’t do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) once you turned 30, Universe wouldn’t still be around.
That’s how actively women in their 30s are participating and finding success.
- A 30-year-old who looks 20 versus a 20-year-old who looks 30
This probably comes down to personal preference—kind of like asking whether you prefer cats or dogs—so it’s hard to give a definite answer.
If the 20-year-old looks particularly mature, then I’d say a 30-year-old who looks 20 may be the better choice. On the other hand, if the woman in her 30s is trying so hard to act cute that it’s off-putting, then again, the 30-year-old who looks 20 might be preferable.
In the end, it really depends on how young or mature they look.
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I’m not sure what they mean by saying you should “settle down.”
Let people say whatever they want, and don’t worry about it.
You can still do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Unfortunately, though, the number of offers you receive may decrease. Apparently, according to a university study on romance—I can’t remember the source—men from their 20s through their 80s all tend to prefer women in their 20s（笑）. Women, on the other hand, apparently tend to prefer men around their own age, give or take about five years.
Of course, it varies from person to person, but men instinctively seek younger women because they want to pass their genes on to superior offspring.
Whether it’s papa-katsu, marriage hunting, or the dating market in general, the advantage held by women in their 20s is driven by men’s instincts.
That said, there are men who prefer women in their 30s, so it’s not hopeless. Try to find those men.
Naturally, they won’t offer to women in their 20s who look older than their age, but they will offer to beautiful women in their 30s who look like they’re in their 20s.
So keep working on your beauty and taking care of yourself, too.
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If women in their 30s couldn’t do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), then about one-third of the women at Universe Club wouldn’t be able to participate.
That’s not actually the case, so don’t worry and keep at it.
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Do you know what he meant when he told you that you needed to “settle down”?
Was he saying that doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) was inappropriate? Or was he referring to your usual clothing or manners? “Settling down” can mean different things.
Try asking the papa (a male supporter) who told you that to clarify.
Being young doesn’t automatically mean you’ll get an offer.
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What does it really mean to “settle down,” anyway?
Does it mean not going out partying at night, seriously dating one man with marriage in mind, or getting married and having children? Or maybe getting promoted at work, learning a trade, and becoming independent?
I think people should do whatever they want, and sometimes you can just nod along and half-heartedly listen to the opinions of older gentlemen you’re seeing.
Personally, I think it’s best to be in your twenties and look like you’re in your twenties, or be in your thirties and look like you’re in your thirties.
I’ve been able to continue papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for now, up until my late forties. I don’t have any experience beyond that, so I can’t say.
Marika
P.S. As Dateyume said, it really comes down to thinking about your own path.
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> A 30-year-old who looks like she’s in her 20s, or a woman in her 20s who looks like she’s in her 30s—which is better?
It depends on the person. If the former is exactly the type of papa (a male supporter), looks and personality included, then the former. Same goes for the latter.
Men’s preferences really do vary widely. You’re 30 now, so you should be able to understand that much.
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“Start thinking about where you’re headed in life!”—I think that’s what people mean when they say you should settle down once you’re over 30. As the saying goes, “Youth passes quickly, but learning is difficult” (lol).
As for the number of offers for 30-year-olds doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I don’t think it has anything to do with “settling down.” I’ve heard it’s actually a popular age range because the male members tend to be older.
> A 30-year-old who looks like she’s in her 20s, or a 20-year-old who looks like she’s in her 30s?
In my case, when I consider the potential length of the relationship and what happens to the woman after it ends, I’d choose someone in her 20s, regardless of whether she looks older or younger.
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Lately, whenever I go to ordinary places outside of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), or even just greet someone, women I’m meeting for the first time—usually ordinary middle-aged ladies—often react by saying:
“You look so young!”
“Mr./Ms. ___, you look incredibly young!”
“You’re really young-looking!”
They say it as if they’re trying to make me feel good, but I’m pretty sure they only say it because I’ve started to look older.
And since I get that surprised “You look young!” reaction more and more every year, I’ve come to realize that being told you look young is actually proof that you’re getting old.
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I don’t think you have to settle down just because you’ve turned 30, so you’ll have to ask the person who said that why they think so.
There are plenty of people over 30 who still have allowance-based relationships.
I don’t know what the “Uncurry question” is. Either way, does it really matter?
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