A woman I used to see a few times has asked to meet up. (We haven’t seen each other in about a year.) I’d be open to meeting if she agrees to a lower allowance.
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How should I negotiate lowering the allowance?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
How much allowance were you giving her before, exactly?
I assume she’s reaching out to people who previously made her offers because she’s no longer getting any new ones.
If you tell her the allowance will be lower, she’ll probably be prepared for that as well...
But if she expects to keep receiving the same amount as before, you may want to set some boundaries.
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If you’re not particularly set on a specific amount, I think you can simply say:
“I can do ___ yen per meeting. How does that sound?”
If she feels that won’t work for her, then you’ve decided she isn’t someone you’re willing to date for ___ yen. She, in turn, can simply conclude, “I can’t believe he’s judging me as being worth only ___ yen,” and move on.
If you’ve downgraded her because you feel she’s no longer worth the previous amount, then shouldn’t you stick firmly to that conviction?
Thinking the previous amount is no longer worth it and negotiating it down is perfectly normal in business. If negotiations break down, it’s also standard practice to cut ties with that company, employee, or representative. Since this is a relationship involving money, I think you can do the same.
Fortunately, there’s no equivalent of the Subcontract Act in dating, so you’re free to do as you please—provided you’re not expecting much in the way of humanity from the other person.
That’s just my personal opinion.
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How would you feel if a business client said, “I’m willing to work with you, but it’s not worth it at the previous rate. Could you lower your price?”
It’s the same thing.
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