A papa I’d been leaving on read for nearly six months suddenly messaged me something like, “How have you been?” Doesn’t he realize I don’t like him?
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We usually message after our dates and chat on LINE regularly, but I really didn’t want to see him anymore after our last date. He sent me a thank-you message, but I didn’t even open it or reply—and yet he still messaged me. I don’t get it.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
If you’d only seen each other once or twice, I could understand ending things by leaving his messages unread.
But in your case, you’d already been seeing each other several times, hadn’t you?
If so, expecting him to “take the hint” seems a bit unreasonable.
I feel sorry for the papa (male supporter) for choosing someone like you.
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> Don’t they realize that I dislike them?
If you haven’t told them, though, it may not be a matter of “realizing” it—they simply may have no way of guessing.
With that in mind, your post makes them seem like someone who lives very much on their own terms.
Normally, if you haven’t told someone something, it’s better to assume they don’t know. Japan does have a culture of picking up on unspoken cues, which makes things a bit complicated, though.
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It’s Fullerene!
To the person asking this question: do you really think that “I know they dislike me” means “Obviously, they won’t message me on LINE”?
Are you aware of how narrow your perspective is?
Also, you should work on your breakup skills.
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If you haven’t clearly conveyed that you dislike someone, this kind of thing happens fairly often. Lately, I’ve been getting messages like that from women I’ve ended things with, and I feel bad about it.
If you showed through your attitude when you were together that you were already thinking, “I’m done with this,” things might go a little more smoothly. Still, you can’t exactly say outright, “You’re not right for me, and I don’t want to see you anymore.” So there will always be some thick-skinned people who keep messaging, “How have you been?” without picking up on your reactions and backing off. They exist at a certain rate.
You can’t really help how you feel about someone—you either like them or you don’t. People may have different opinions about how you express it, but the fact remains that you don’t like them, so ultimately it’s just a matter of how you communicate that. Of course, I do think it would be better to handle things a little more skillfully, but it’s also true that there’s no reason whatsoever to force yourself to do something you don’t want to do.
Anyway, judging from the other answers, I think you’ve probably taken away the lesson that saying exactly what you’re thinking can lead to trouble.
Taro
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