Looking through this Q&A, I’ve noticed that many of the women—including me—seem to have low self-esteem.

Looking through the question box, I sometimes wonder whether many women have low self-esteem. But in my experience, the women I’ve been seeing long-term aren’t like that at all. (I’m currently in long-term relationships with three women: one A-type, one B-type, and one between B and C.) Also, when I look at the people answering, I feel that the male members—including myself—are mostly the type with high self-esteem. In the end, though, the sample size is too small to say either way. That said, back when I was really into visiting adult entertainment establishments, I felt that many of the women working there had low self-esteem. Perhaps the more someone allows just anyone access to her body solely for money, the more it affects her mentally and lowers her self-esteem.

It didn’t really seem like a question, but since everyone is answering it, I’ll leave it as is.

I recently bought one of those light therapy lamps (lol). Since I need to “photosynthesize” to make vitamin D, I’m usually the type whose mood improves when I get plenty of sunlight. But lately, with all the snow and cold, I haven’t been feeling very upbeat, so I decided to give one a try. It may just be a matter of mindset, but I think it’s helping(´-`)oＯ{

I don’t think you can simply say that their self-esteem is low across the board. People who post questions here seem to have low self-esteem only in certain areas—for example: - self-esteem in a sense that isn’t dependent on gender - self-esteem in a sense that isn’t dependent on their role And yet, because their self-esteem specifically as women is high, they do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Since they rely on their position as women, they criticize or speak badly about male members while asking questions from the standpoint of, “This is only natural, right?” To begin with, don’t they decide to do papa-katsu and make money from men because they take at least some pride in being women, and feel that being a woman gives them an advantage? I think that’s also why they’re able to find this site in the first place. Whether they realize it or not. If they weren’t conscious of themselves as women in the first place, they probably wouldn’t know about papa-katsu. They’d simply earn money through legitimate means. In fact, they might even feel disgust toward the allowance they receive from men. The same goes for the many questions from PJs or P—like the ones about boyfriends—that seek some kind of role-based meaning, such as the chocolate topic, and ask for general opinions like, “Normally, people would...” Papa-katsu is still a human relationship, and a relationship between two people. Gender only needs to matter during sex, and roles only need to matter when the allowance is handed over—when it comes to sexual desires and following the basic rules of the arrangement. When making a decision, the only things you really need to consider are the person who chose you, what you want to do, and what choice will leave you without regrets. (Why are you trying to find the “right” choice for yourself without even looking at the other person? All you’re doing is revealing how little confidence you have in your own judgment. If you keep asking questions every single time, your brain is going to get rusty.) Though, I suppose people who stubbornly keep asking questions here may be unable to think for themselves, while the readers and answerers get better at thinking. In that sense, the people who ask questions are valuable too. Thank you! (´▽｀) Also, asking people in the answers to encourage your own actions—questions like, “Was my decision correct?”—is, in my opinion, nothing more than a way to compensate for a lack of confidence in your own thinking: “If everyone else thinks so too, then it must be okay.” It’s a strange herd mentality, or an escape route in case things go wrong. In the end, the moment you base your self-esteem on a gender you had no choice in being, it makes you seem heavily dependent on others... or rather, kind of shallow. You didn’t gain confidence by working hard at something unrelated to gender and accomplishing something, so it comes across as hollow. Well, humans really do seem like animals whose brains have grown too large and become warped by sexuality. That’s why humans are so fascinating. This may be influenced by the male-dominated culture Japan created, but things are already beginning to change. I think the future will look different depending on whether people can break free from this mindset or not. That’s my personal theory, anyway. I know that thinking this way also makes me a pretty warped animal, but, well... that’s how I see it.

You don’t need to worry about it. If you were truly fulfilled, you wouldn’t be asking questions—or needing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) in the first place. Everyone has moments when they struggle or feel vulnerable. Even men—no matter how many of them are successful, myself included—are paying to be introduced to someone when they join a club. If it were a traditional arranged marriage, we could hold our heads high, but there’s nothing more embarrassing or pathetic than this, especially for a man. If men had such strong self-worth that they felt they didn’t need this, no one would join a club. They join because they have no choice but to rely on it—their sense of self-worth as men is low. The moment you’re in a position to receive money, you’re overwhelmingly above the man in terms of power. You’ve already won hands down.

At least, the respondents here generally seem to have pretty high self-esteem（笑） A lot of people who ask questions may have lower self-esteem. If you have strong self-esteem, you probably don’t feel the need to ask others for advice. And when you do ask, your objective is often relatively clear. Still, this site exists because people ask questions, so I hope you’ll continue letting the magma flow smoothly from here on out. By the way, I feel that many of the male members also have fairly high self-esteem. They go out of their way to join a dating club, pay the membership fee and introduction fee, and even after being told they might get rejected, they still make offers to Type C or Type B members without doubting that sex will happen. Taro

I can definitely see why you’d feel that way… Maybe the winter is making you feel emotionally withdrawn, too? By the way, can you think of any underlying reasons for your low self-esteem? For example, being bullied or not receiving enough affection from your parents? Many of the male members here are generous and compassionate, so if you know what’s causing it, there may be someone willing to help you work through it—or at least ease it a little. Of course, bringing this up at a first meeting would be a bit heavy, so it might be better to wait until you’ve built a closer relationship. But if, through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), your self-esteem improves, you smile more, and your life starts moving in a better direction, the men may feel that supporting you was worthwhile too. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, and take life a little more easily♪ You’re doing great just by making it through each day!