Can You Still Get Back Together After Being Told It’s Over?

Even if he says he wants to break up, I think getting back together may still be possible if you make an effort. If my boyfriend said, “I understand,” I’d take that as meaning he understood that I didn’t want to break up, so I’d keep messaging him as usual. If you’re worried about his health, he probably won’t know unless you tell him, and your feelings won’t get through unless you take action. I’m sure you didn’t contact him because you were worried and didn’t want to exhaust yourself unnecessarily… but it sounds like that concern didn’t come across to him. From now on, I think you should tell him what you’re feeling. If you haven’t been able to sort out your feelings, it’s okay to keep loving him until you can, and to continue thinking of yourselves as a couple. In love, it may be more enjoyable to be a little foolish sometimes.

This is Fullerene! I read your previous question as well. He’s a bit of a spoiled sweetheart for someone his age... If you can take a motherly attitude and think, “He’s cute when he’s sulking★,” then that’s one thing. Otherwise, I feel like you’ll eventually arrive at your answer. It’s simply that you and he have different ways of showing consideration. You’re leaving him alone because you trust his ability to handle things... but have you shown even a little understanding of that? I interpreted what he said as: “I understand that you don’t want to break up. But I don’t want to contact you anymore.” If it were me, I’d probably: 1. Send him a barrage of messages for a certain period we agreed on beforehand. 2. Once that period was over, stop contacting him completely as planned. 3. If he replied, go back to how things were; if he didn’t, give up. Something along those lines. This is just my own bias, but I get the impression that you’re an only child, while he seems like the type who has an older sister.

It sounds like the man has decided to break things off—for now, at least. Unlike women, men sometimes change their minds after a breakup and get back in touch. But even if that happens, it’ll probably be a little later, at a point when she’s thinking, “Why now?” So, even if you leave that as a last resort, you should focus on what you can do right now. Based on your previous question, his position is probably: “If my girlfriend had a fever, I’d contact her more often and go visit her. You barely message me, and even though I gave you a spare key, you don’t come to my place. That made me lose feelings.” So you should fix that part. If you’ve already apologized once, that’s enough—you don’t need to keep apologizing. Just do the things he wanted you to do. Don’t just say, “Okay. My cough still hasn’t gone away, so I’ll contact you once I’m fully better,” and wait for him to reach out. What he wants is for you to worry about him and contact him without being told, and to come to his place. Right? He’s sulking, so I think he’s acting tsundere at first. Unless he’s taken back the spare key or changed the locks, I think it’s okay to show up. Forget mutual agreement—you can push your way through this（笑）. There’s a phrase for a woman who essentially forces her way into a man’s life, but even if men act annoyed, deep down they’re never truly unhappy about it. I’ve experienced this recently myself. I’d turned down an official relationship for the time being, yet somehow started acting like we were dating—saying things like I wanted to see the Christmas illuminations together. But I didn’t actually dislike it. I think the popularity of the anime Urusei Yatsura, which is currently being revived, comes from the same mechanism. To men, a woman they’ve thought of as attractive—even for a moment—is special, and I think they’re weak when that woman aggressively pursues them. It’s cute to take a passive stance and wonder, “How can I get this man to turn back toward me?” But if you want results, you should think about being a little more proactive. The strongest kind of woman, in my opinion, is one who hunts her prey like a carnivore, yet can instantly switch into a sweet, cuddly mode when she’s actually with the man. Even if it ultimately doesn’t work out, if you’ve done everything you could, you’ll gain experience that can help you move on to the next chapter. I’m sure you’re worried about all sorts of things, but keep looking ahead and do your best! Only those who keep moving forward can reach their destination. Even if you make countless mistakes or embarrass yourself along the way, once you succeed, those experiences become funny stories from the past that add charm to your success. So for now, just keep looking ahead and moving forward! Taro

Since a man of that age is giving you a spare key, as mentioned in your previous question, you have no choice but to take a chance and trust him instead of worrying too much. You should keep messaging him as usual—or rather, since you’re worried, sending two or three times as many LINE messages as usual wouldn’t seem strange. If he’s feeling unwell, you should message him about three times a day—morning, evening, and night. Otherwise, he may think you’re all talk, and you could genuinely end up breaking up. His anger may actually be the flip side of how much he likes you, which could be why he gave you a spare key. It’s only been two months, but this could be your chance to turn a rough patch into something stronger. Take the plunge and give it a shot. Also, I think your reply should be “Thank you” or “Thank you, I understand. I’ll wait for you,” rather than simply “I understand.” “I understand” can sometimes come across as though you’re reluctantly agreeing, so be careful when using it. The man may have reluctantly agreed to consider what you asked—or perhaps, despite everything, he really is willing to think it over. Instead of being happy about that, you made him wonder, “I understand? Who does she think she is?” Unless you quickly follow up with more LINE messages, his feelings won’t change. More than anything, you should think carefully about how you communicate, both for your future with him and for your future with other men. Whether it’s your current partner or a different man in the future, your words and actions can make a difference. What matters is whether your feelings are clearly showing on your face—and whether they’re getting through to him. When you feel happy about the other person’s feelings, you need to convey that to him. Unless you express your feelings, neither your current relationship nor any future one will move forward. At times like this, the more you worry about reading the other person’s mood, the more distant his feelings will become.

Sorry to add another answer while you’re still trying to sort out your feelings… This part caught my attention: >>Then my boyfriend said, “Okay. My cough still hasn’t gone away, so I’ll contact you once I’m fully better,” and I just replied, “Okay!” After that, he’s left me on read. I don’t know what your relationship is like, so maybe I’m overthinking it, but doesn’t replying with just “Okay!” come across as a little cold…? Since he was the one whose feelings were hurt, perhaps you could have replied a bit more warmly—something like, “Thank you. I’ll wait to hear from you.” Also, if you’re going to send a follow-up message, I think it would be better to show a little more specific concern than simply asking, “Are you feeling okay?” For example: “I heard at work (you work at a medical facility, right?) that ○○ is supposed to help with coughing,” or “Do you have any medicine?” Something along those lines. Maybe it’s best not to overthink things and just wait for now.