I have another question today.
I first learned the term papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) after turning 40, and I’m registered with Universe.
I’m told I look about ten years younger in terms of my appearance, figure, and skin, and I’m occasionally approached by scouts as well. My partners are happy and satisfied with my looks and figure, and I also enjoy adult relationships (intimate) and want to please them. Afterward, they always tell me things like, “Thank you,” “That felt amazing,” and “That was the best I’ve ever had.”
But it’s always six months.
Once six months have passed, they suddenly disappear. It’s gotten to the point where I feel as though papa-katsu has a six-month time limit.
Even when they treat me so well and we spend such meaningful time together, it still ends after six months. They cut things off after six months.
My ideal would be to maintain a long-term relationship, so every time the six-month mark comes around, I find myself thinking, “Not again…”
I’m sure there must be something about me that’s causing this, but I can’t figure out what it is, so I decided to post here.
Whether they’re looking for a transactional relationship or something more romantic, I’ve always tried to respond in the way they prefer.
I know that if the reason is simply my age, there may be nothing I can do, but I still want to make every effort I can.
This may be a rather rambling post, but I would really appreciate your honest, even harsh, feedback.
Thank you in advance.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂40s👑Universe female member
I read your question with great interest.
You look at least ten years younger than your actual age, you’ve even been scouted, and people compliment your technique! You must be very beautiful.
Unfortunately, I don’t think I can offer any good advice on how to maintain a long-term relationship. I don’t have any particular qualities or special techniques myself, so the thought of being told by my papa (a male supporter) that he wanted to end things made me feel scared.
Reading the answers from the male respondents was very informative. Marika’s advice was also helpful.
Taking all of that into account, I often tell my papa things like, “Thanks to you, I’m able to enjoy such happy days,” “Thank you for always cherishing me,” and “I’m happy that we can spend time together.” I express how grateful I am to be able to share my time with him because I genuinely feel that way.
I think a papa may continue seeing someone if he feels that he wants to be there for her—not just for her body—and finds value in spending time together even on regular dates outside.
Regardless of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I also hope to become an attractive person, both as a woman and as a human being.
Sorry that this doesn’t really answer your question. Let’s both do our best!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Are you enjoying yourself? It kind of seems like you’re desperately trying to cater to him.
Looking ten years younger and being good at oral—aren’t those just the bare minimum?
If you’re not both enjoying it more, it won’t last long.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Reading your question, I get the impression that you’re placing too much emphasis on appearance and sex.
Of course, those are important factors, but regardless of age—even with women in their twenties—I feel people often get tired of them after about six months.
That suggests the issue may lie more in the emotional side of things. But I doubt it’s because you have a bad personality or poor attitude.
In my own experience, I’ve often ended things within a few months to half a year with women who were attractive, good in bed, quick to respond on LINE, and pleasant to be around.
The reason is that it starts to feel like I’m being served by a hostess. Her quick replies, occasional gifts, and the way she goes out of her way in bed all began to seem less like things she genuinely wanted to do and more like techniques to stay favored in the club. That suddenly made me lose interest.
Could it be that your efforts to “make sure you respond in a desirable way,” as you put it, are actually working against you?
For a while after the first meeting, it’s probably best to behave well and, in a sense, approach the relationship somewhat technically. But if even after two or three months—or half a year—you still can’t see the woman’s true feelings or unguarded self, I can understand why she might eventually be seen as boring.
If you meet a man you genuinely come to like—someone who makes you feel a little jealous or makes you truly feel the loneliness of not being able to see him—I think that’s the kind of thing that can lead to a long-term relationship.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Being able to enjoy the same hobbies together, for example.
With people who’ve been involved for several years, they may know each other’s homes or lend each other money—in other words, their private lives become deeply intertwined. They’re made to feel that she’d be lost without them.
That’s just my personal theory.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Maybe it’s when you let your guard down and your everyday life starts showing through.
When a woman feels comfortable enough to open up, she’ll start showing her true self. Especially in her 40s, life tends to leave its marks, and seeing too much of that can be a turnoff for me.
It’s not just about looking young—it’s about having a sense of mystery. An aura that suggests she has something she would never reveal.
I may be saying the opposite of what other men say, but even if a man tells you, “I want you to tell me everything,” don’t take it at face value.
You can be physically intimate with him without opening your heart completely. In particular, don’t complain about how worn out you are by everyday life.
The point is not to forget how you felt when you first met him, and to keep meeting him with the same tension and defenses you’d have if every meeting were the first.
It’s a battle. A battle.
What can compete with youth isn’t just trying to look younger. It’s a beauty that makes people wonder how old you really are—an allure that sparks curiosity.
For him to develop real feelings and find it hard to leave, you probably need at least two years.
If he cuts things off after six months, it’s because you revealed all your cards too soon.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You should realize that being told you look 10 years younger just means you look your age.
If you take that seriously, it’s exhausting for the other person.
They’d have to keep telling you that you’re their number one the whole time.
That gets boring. It won’t last.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’ve already left the club and haven’t met anyone new, so even the person I’ve been seeing for the shortest time has been in my life for over a year.
There are also a few people I’ve met outside the dating club framework.
It’s true that looking young and being good at oral are probably basic expectations for women in dating clubs—especially those in their 40s or older. Otherwise, I don’t think they could really operate in that scene.
What matters after that is whether you can enjoy spending time together as people. My ideal mistress would be someone bright and sexy—someone fun to drink with, fun to go driving or play golf with, and who can make me feel so worked up just by looking at her profile during an ordinary date that I want to sweep her off her feet.
Rather than seeming like she’s simply adjusting to her partner, I think relationships last when the other person can genuinely feel that you enjoy being with them.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
That’s a good question.
Since relationships through an exclusive dating club involve an allowance, I think what he means is that he doesn’t want to keep seeing her if it requires continuing to pay one.
There are many wonderful women registered with these clubs, so I imagine many male members genuinely want to meet other women as well. A female member named Aya mentioned this in a previous answer, but I also wonder whether the relationship simply hasn’t evolved.
Also, I’m an old man, so for various reasons I’m not someone who can make offers one after another（笑）. I think there are other male members like me who can only manage one relationship at a time.
However, because each relationship tends to last longer, the opportunities are limited.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Thank you, as always, for everything.
I’m Zuiki, a male member who’s been around for six months, but I’m constantly nervous and afraid that I’ll be the one getting cut off.
No, no—I think the reason the questioner has been able to keep things going for “as long as” six months is that she looks great, has a good figure, and is skilled at providing oral favors.
But she can’t get past the six-month mark.
And she knows the reason lies with her.
I think my view is pretty close to Kazu’s: maybe she gets bored with you because the different papas can ultimately see through the fact that you’re merely trying to adapt yourself to each of their types.
It’s as if they can’t see the questioner’s true feelings. Everything seems superficial, or like her efforts are missing the mark and going nowhere.
If you want a man to think, “I’d love to cherish this woman as my mistress for a long time,” or “I want to take good care of her and keep protecting her,” then showing him your unfiltered self—not meaning without makeup!—might be one idea.
It’s only going to last six months anyway, so you might as well go for it and see what happens, lol. I can’t promise I’ll be able to pick up the pieces, though…
The woman I’m seeing calls herself someone who gets bored easily, but somehow we made it past six months and have settled into a stable phase.
We’re always together as a couple who freely show each other just how silly we are.
Just my two cents from one half of a goofy couple.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I’ve never met him, so this is 100% speculation, but if it’s been six months, he may simply have gotten used to your appearance and the novelty may have worn off.
At that point, what might be missing is your personality—whether he enjoys spending time with you even when you’re not being intimate, whether the conversation flows, and whether he feels like seeing you again.
I imagine it’s difficult to work on your personality, but at the very least, try researching things men tend to enjoy. Even knowing a little when those topics come up can make a big difference in how much the conversation develops.
Even if he’s the kind of man who says none of that matters and only wants intimacy, it might help if he also comes to see you as someone who’s fun to be with outside of that.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
> I’m told my looks, figure, and skin make me look about ten years younger.
I’m sorry, but anyone saying things like that sounds pretty boring.
I think most women have been told at some point that they look young or are good at oral.
Maybe the problem is that you’ve continued treating him in the same “pleasant” way since you first met. In a papa-katsu arrangement, that kind of approach may leave men feeling unsatisfied.
I don’t think your age is the cause.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
