I’m the person who asked about Type B.

Being called “-san” is fine, but I’d rather you not use “-sama.” When people do that, it makes me want to change my name to “Poop” too（笑） Sorry about my previous answer. I set up a weird trap, so I may have made it harder for other people to respond. Still, I’m glad things seem to have settled in a fairly sensible direction. It’s fine to make that proposal next, but since this is after you’ve already reached an agreement, I think you should make it clear that you’d still be okay with the original terms if they suit her better. Even more so if you’ve already completed your first adult relationship (intimate). Otherwise, it could come across as a strange message implying that the quality of the adult relationship wasn’t good enough. In any case, the top priority is for her to feel secure about covering her tuition, and your second priority is your wish to be a benefactor without an adult relationship (intimate). The “You said it once, so stop wavering and stick to it” position is probably the most logically sound one. But now that you’ve realized you have preferences of your own, I think it’s best to have the conversation while clearly acknowledging that you’re asking to discuss it one more time, even though you feel bad for making things complicated. Still, it must make you happy that you care about her that much and that she agreed, regardless of the arrangement’s exact form. The first woman I had a long-term arrangement with through Universe was also a third-year university student, and she was doing it to pay her tuition, so I feel some affinity with your situation. Wishing you the best of luck. Taro

I’ve happily reached our second anniversary with a man who brought 100 on our second meeting. His only reason was that he didn’t like paying on a pay-per-meeting basis. I didn’t particularly have a reason to accept it, but I also had no reason to refuse, so I did. Since then, I haven’t received any allowance—just the occasional gift. That said, normally, the relationship probably won’t continue unless you keep giving a proper allowance, so keep that in mind. Marika

As for why she turned him down at first, it may have been the classic tactic of a “training-type” woman: by rejecting a man, she can get him even more emotionally invested. Maybe—I don’t know. Women like that aren’t necessarily that way from the start. First, there’s usually a papa (a male supporter) who’s easy to “train,” and by learning those men’s habits and preferences, they gradually become training-type women. It’s based on trial and error—“Oh, so this is enough?” Women in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) often exchange information with close friends or people on Twitter, so there may have been conversations like, “I met a guy who’ll give me 100,000 yen,” and, “Whoa, isn’t that dangerous?” Also, to point out a fundamental misunderstanding: in this world, getting 15,000 yen for dinner only (no intimacy) is perfectly normal. I know several women who keep turning down an adult relationship (intimate) while receiving 1,000,000 or even 2,000,000 yen a month on a monthly arrangement from a specific papa. P.S. Another possibility is that she wanted to see whether a man who offers 1,000,000 yen right away might turn into a stalker. If it’s a transactional relationship paid per meeting at 15,000 yen, the risk of him becoming a stalker seems lower. From a woman’s perspective, whether it’s dinner only or includes an adult relationship doesn’t make much difference. The idea that “getting something from someone without doing anything is the same as begging,” as Maezawa wrote, feels like a very male way of thinking. Women generally feel that simply dining with someone is already providing sufficient services in return.

Some women believe that accepting money from someone without doing anything in return is no different from begging. They may also want to feel that they are on equal footing with their partner. With that in mind, rather than hurting her pride, I think it would be better to continue seeing her under the agreed terms. Then, little by little, you could start giving her an allowance even when you don’t go to a hotel. For example, on a date that includes an adult relationship (intimate), you could give her 15,000 yen as soon as you meet and say, “Here’s your allowance for today.” That way, you could go to the hotel without doing anything. However, she might misunderstand this and think that you aren’t attracted to her. You could explain your principles while sitting close to her, or, if you don’t want her to think you’re being difficult, you could simply stop at cuddling and flirting. Still, I think it would be easier for her to accept if you gradually changed things while continuing to follow the original terms. There’s also a service called “rental girlfriends,” so you could show her their rate sheet and say something like: “A woman in the premium class costs 12,000 yen per hour, so today was three hours—that’s 36,000 yen, plus 5,000 yen for transportation, making 41,000 yen. With a rental girlfriend, you’re not allowed to touch the other person, but we held hands today, so I’ll add another 10,000 yen for that.” If you did that, you might be able to support her with around 50,000 yen each time you go out for dinner. She may dislike the idea of receiving support, but she might not mind being paid for her time and effort. So if you can clearly explain the basis for the amount, she might be willing to accept it. That’s what I’m getting at. Of course, perhaps you want to support her simply because you enjoy being with her and don’t see the relationship as transactional. But when you consider her desire to remain on equal footing and retain at least some pride, I feel that paying her as compensation may be the better approach. I’ve written a lot, but overall, I think it would be best to continue under the original terms while gradually increasing the allowance or gradually phasing out the adult relationship (intimate). P.S. “That way of thinking sounds very male-oriented.” That may well be true. Still, there are women who think that way, even if they’re a minority. Women who plan to graduate from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) after a year, in particular, may be more likely to feel that way. P.S. 2: “I offered her 1,000,000 yen in cash on the spot, but she turned me down.” There are plenty of stories like, “I gave a woman 1,000,000 yen, and then she stopped responding. So I was scammed.” But in this case, the 1,000,000 yen support was conditional on continuing to see each other in the future, wasn’t it? If so, even though you called it support, she may have felt that accepting it would make it impossible for her to end the relationship later. Also, gifts generally don’t have to be returned, but many men demand their money back afterward. She may reasonably have thought that accepting it could lead to serious trouble later. If it was a conditional gift, the conditions need to be made clear. Otherwise, it may be better not to casually call it “support,” since the woman may not have been trying to deceive the man at all.

If you’re handing it over and having her accept it all at once, keep it to 30 at most—100 would be way too intimidating. If it’s 100, you can ask her to hold on to it for a year. That way, she won’t have to turn you down. P.S. > From a woman’s perspective, it doesn’t really matter whether it’s dinner only or includes an adult relationship. I agree. To women, the adult relationship itself isn’t that important, so they can still receive money without it. In the first place, I think women are the ones who can “receive money without doing anything.” Men are creatures who want to do things for women and think about giving them an allowance or doing something for them. Because you’re giving her an allowance, she may do all kinds of things for you or provide you with whatever you want. That’s certainly wonderful and something to be grateful for—there’s no denying that. But it’s also true that there are plenty of substitutes, and that almost everyone will do the same. So I feel there’s a limit to what someone can do or provide for you. I think things become different when there’s something a man can actively bring to the table that truly stands out. If he can move a woman’s heart through his own initiative, she may become a one-of-a-kind partner.

In my case, I joined the club expecting an adult relationship (intimate), so my situation is different from yours. But beyond simply presenting your terms (of the arrangement), genuinely engaging with the woman you’re seeing is what makes the relationship go smoothly afterward. Also, as the relationship gets longer, you gradually learn the truth about each other, and new issues may come up. The important thing is how you handle and build the relationship from there, right? Haha. I’ve come to think that an allowance-based relationship with a significant age gap can actually be quite enjoyable, too. Haha.

Why not simply be honest with her about everything you’ve written so far and ask what kind of terms would work for her? Everything seems to be centered around what the questioner wants, so I don’t think this relationship will be emotionally sustainable in the long run. It feels like you probably won’t become close outside of the financial aspect. If you become closer and her story is true, she’ll likely bring up the expenses again, saying she needs help. From a woman’s perspective, if someone offered 1 million yen on the second meeting, I’d probably turn it down. Any sensible person—especially someone new to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—would think: “This seems dangerous.” If she’s the type who wants to gradually develop a relationship, she may be checking things step by step: whether she’s physically comfortable with you on the first meeting, then discussing her family situation on the second to see whether you might become a generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter). I think both serious women and women who take this gradual approach may behave similarly. Judging from the 1 million yen figure, I suspect she may attend a private university. If she registered in November, after her parents told her they wouldn’t pay her tuition, her story could be true. But if she had already registered with a club or app well before then, it’s probably a lie. Though I suppose it doesn’t really matter if it’s a lie, haha. If you want to pay, then pay her. If you really want to know whether it’s true, and she only found out about the situation last November, you should ask whether she plans to start receiving a scholarship this April. Universities generally have departments where students can consult about being unable to pay tuition due to family circumstances, so you could also ask whether she consulted them and what response she received, haha. If she’s a fourth-year university student, she should have completed most of her coursework. If she’s been serious about university, she should have more time now to focus mainly on job hunting and her graduation thesis. With some effort, she ought to be able to cover her tuition by paying 500,000 yen for the first semester and 500,000 yen for the second. Though it could be quite difficult if she’s in a department with lots of practical training. I have a friend who graduated from a private university costing around 1 million yen a year while paying the tuition herself and using scholarships, despite being in a demanding program where pulling all-nighters was sometimes unavoidable. She wasn’t doing papa-katsu or working in the adult entertainment industry, either. It was seriously impressive, but it wasn’t impossible. Of course, details such as whether the university has a dormitory and what prefecture she lives in would matter. Anyway, setting aside whether her story is true or false, you should ask any woman what she wants. Otherwise, it’s too focused on what the questioner wants. That’s just my opinion. P.S. One thing that just occurred to me: since she registered as Type B, the claim that she was hesitant about anything after the second meeting before finally agreeing may have been an act. Or perhaps she turned down the 1 million yen because she didn’t like you very much or found it difficult to trust you. If she really is a serious student, she would probably follow the club’s guideline that the second meeting is when you decide whether to progress to an adult relationship (intimate). If she negotiated to consider an adult relationship only at the fourth or fifth meeting and managed to make that work, she may simply be very sharp or good at navigating life.