I’m sorry for posting again and again… I’m the person who recently asked about having a cat. The text kept getting cut off, so I had to repost it several times.

I understand that I should just ignore it. I just don’t know how to ignore it. Once, I replied by email, “That’s a disgusting thing to say. If possible, please don’t talk about things like that,” and I was scolded for it. My supervisor told me, “In situations like that, report it to me. You don’t need to reply—just block them,” so that’s what I’ve been doing. My current company also knows that I’ve had to move several times because of harassment from men. (When I say “men,” I’m not lumping all men together; I’m simply using the term without naming anyone.) I started consulting a lawyer because, at a previous workplace, an employee who apparently found out my address rang my intercom continuously from 3 a.m. and shouted from outside my door, “If you love me, please go out with me.” I didn’t even know this person existed. We weren’t acquainted, worked in different departments, and I didn’t know his name or face. I called the police, and it became an issue at work. Yet, for some reason, the company moved that employee and tried to end the matter by saying, “There, it’s over! You’re satisfied now, right?” My address remained unchanged, and the employee stayed with the company. I couldn’t understand it, and they never apologized. I consulted various people, but nothing came of it, so I decided I needed to leave evidence of my consultations and what had happened with an uninvolved third party who had enough authority to do something. Apparently, the company paid for the other employee’s moving costs, but when I asked about moving myself, they dismissed me and told me to pay for it. That’s why I decided to handle things this way. If I have to move again, it will be extremely difficult, so I want to be prepared to at least recover the moving expenses. If I simply give in, my cat’s quality of life will suffer too, and I want to avoid that. Because my life experience is so limited in certain ways, I asked, “Are men just like this?” and “What would be the right way to respond?” But I’ve been told that I sound stupid. That’s right—I’m stupid, ignorant, and worthless, someone my family has only ever treated as a punching bag, so I never learned how to communicate with people properly. I’m sorry. I just wanted to know what this sort of behavior actually means and how I’m supposed to respond. Even when I ask coworkers or consultation centers, they tell me, “Just ignore it,” or, “If you engage with him, it means you’re interested.” I asked here because I wanted to know whether there was anything I could do. Thank you for caring about someone as stupid as me. People tend to get sick around this time of year, so please take care of yourself too. I’m no longer at the age when people usually say things like that to me, so I think it will calm down eventually. But I suspect this kind of thing is common where I live, which may be why people dismiss it as “an overreaction” or “something that happens all the time.” I’m apparently perceived as weak and easy to control, so perhaps I attract the unusual men who actually take things further. I do understand the reasons and causes myself, but that doesn’t mean I can do anything about them, so I ended up venting here too. I’m sorry. As for our usual conversations, they’re fairly ordinary—nothing particularly good or bad. We start with “Nice to meet you,” exchange “I look forward to getting to know you,” and then the conversation ends with a read receipt. Then the man will start sending me daily updates, like, “I did this today,” or, “I went back to my parents’ house for the first time in a while.” If I reply with something like, “I see. That sounds like fun,” the conversation turns into small talk: “Do you have any siblings?” or, “Do you live alone?” If I mention that I have a pet—a cat—and that she’s cute, he’ll suddenly message me, “Cats lick butter, don’t they?” When I reply, “I don’t think they do. It probably isn’t good for them,” he’ll say something like, “So you don’t let your cat lick your clitoris? LOL.” When we’re talking about siblings, it starts with, “Do you have any brothers or sisters?” then becomes, “Which do you like better?” followed by, “Because they’re better in bed?” When I replied, “That’s disgusting. I don’t like talking about things like that,” it felt as though both the other person and my supervisor got angry with me. The people who approach me as a papa (a male supporter) see that my profile says, “I have a cat, so please be aware if you’re allergic.” They start without even saying hello: “Oh, you have a cat,” followed by, “So, does your cat lick…” and then immediately invite me into an adult relationship (intimate). But my instinctive disgust takes over, and I haven’t yet had a papa with whom I’ve reached that stage. I do like sex, but when you ask whether I could be with someone who suddenly brings up things like that, it’s difficult. I also start to worry that they might secretly film me or pressure me not to use protection. We end up never building any trust. “Bleak” may be an accurate description. This is an area where time seems to have stopped—not just in the Heisei era, but in the Taisho era. There are many unpaved roads, and it’s fairly common to see people working while carrying babies on their backs. Recently, some families have moved here from the city, perhaps because they dream of rural life or because of transfers, but they’re usually gone within a few years. Basically, there’s very little that’s new, and hardly anyone around. It’s somewhere in Kyushu, but Fukuoka, Kumamoto, and Kagoshima seem like completely different worlds—so bright and glamorous, and I’m jealous. There are even people at the tourist attractions. That amazes me. The tourist attractions in my prefecture are empty. When I talk with my Twitter followers, they often ask me, “Has civilization reached you yet?” On the other hand, it’s an area where earthquakes and power outages don’t cause too much trouble. All-electric homes are rare, and not many people depend on computers or smartphones. There’s also still an older generation that understands remote work but finds it suspicious and dislikes it. So it’s difficult… I suppose it’s the kind of place that some people find comfortable and others don’t. I’m sorry for taking up so much space. I wish this site had a function that allowed people to reply to comments from those who answered. So, in the end, I’m asking essentially the same question as before: In situations like this, what is the correct way to respond and handle things? Would having more charm solve the problem? Am I supposed to reply as if it were ordinary small talk, saying, “Of course I don’t do that—come on! LOL”? Was it wrong of me to say that I found it disgusting? But it is disgusting, isn’t it? Just objectively. I don’t want people bringing up topics like that as casual conversation. I want to make it clear that I find it disgusting and want them to stop. But if I don’t say anything, I’m sometimes told that I led them on, so I do want to communicate that part: “This makes me uncomfortable. Please stop.” For example, if someone suddenly messages, “Do you let your cat lick you?” with absolutely no warning, what would be the right response? I mean when that’s the very first message they send after exchanging LINE contacts—without even saying hello. I can usually tell what they’re really talking about, but I still reply with something like, “What are you referring to?” Since messages like this really do come out of nowhere, I’ve been taking screenshots and keeping records, but I don’t understand the psychology behind it either. Am I handling it incorrectly? Some kind people were worried that I might lose my place at work, but I’m fine. Thank you. I’ve received many answers from men, and apparently even men think this behavior is strange. I had been wondering whether I was being excessively sensitive, so that’s somewhat reassuring. No one has ever told me that I lack charm, but people often say that I seem like a completely different person in text messages, or that I look angry and frightening. I’ll try to be more careful.