Question: When I exchange contact information with a woman I met through Universe, we usually connect on LINE. If her birthday is displayed on her profile icon, it goes without saying that it’s a special day to her.
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That said, I’m not sure whether sending her a gift or a birthday message would be a good or bad idea, especially considering how many times we’ve met since getting to know each other. I’d like to hear both men’s and women’s perspectives.
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If she’s money-minded from the start, she’ll usually tell you her birthday herself.
Even if she’s more reserved, some women still hope to receive at least a birthday present.
That said, there are also women who don’t expect birthday presents in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so I think it depends on which woman you choose.
Everyone is different, so there’s no single right answer.
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Let me weigh in too—this is Kosaka from the staff!
I don’t think anyone dislikes being wished a happy birthday, right?
If she never told you her birthday herself, you could say, “I saw it on [〇〇], and realized today’s your birthday! Happy birthday!!” That way, it won’t come across as creepy, like, “How did you find out my birthday?”
There’s a page where the staff’s birthdays are often posted, so I frequently send messages saying, “I saw it on [〇〇]—happy birthday!!”＼(^o^)／
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In my case, she was the type of dating partner who would tell me her birthday even though I hadn’t asked（笑）
Once she told me, I couldn’t exactly stay silent（笑）
But some time ago, she mentioned that a young guy who looked like a mischievous middle schooler had called her an “old lady” at a convenience store. Since last year, though, she’s stopped mentioning her birthday（笑）
Maybe realizing that you definitely get one year older when your birthday comes around made her aware that she’s gradually becoming a real “old lady” herself（笑）
From my perspective, she’s still very young, but she’s sensitive to even the slightest changes（笑）
It’s her birthday, so you should do something for her—a gift, a congratulatory message, anything.
It’s fun watching your dating partner change, too（笑）
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I’m Zuiki, a male member who loves giving presents.
Isn’t the high percentage of women registered with Universe Club who list their birthdays on LINE just a coincidence? I don’t think they’re deliberately trying to make their papas (male supporters) pay special attention to their birthdays. So I don’t think you need to overthink it, either.
If you care about the woman you’re seeing and want to treat her well, I think you can simply ask her birthday and what she’d like as part of your usual conversation.
There’s no single right answer, and birthday gifts or congratulatory messages aren’t something you should send while worrying about whether they’ll bring good or bad luck. Just show through your actions that you genuinely want to celebrate her!
I hope you’re able to maintain a happy relationship!
Oh, and by the way, I’ve been seeing my partner for six months, and we exchanged birthday presents! I asked her what she wanted, while she surprised me with mine.
It’s really touching when someone puts so much thought into choosing a gift.
That’s my personal take as a little present for you, haha.
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I don’t think there’s ultimately any way to know what the right choice is for the woman you’re seeing.
Some women would be happy to receive a message or gift on their birthday, a special day, while others might find it bothersome. It depends on her personality and approach to dating, as well as the nature of her relationship with you—specifically, how much she likes you. So honestly, there’s no way to know.
That’s why I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking the following approach:
1. Since you can’t know how she feels, don’t send a special message or gift in order to avoid taking any unnecessary risks.
That said, this approach does feel somewhat passive, so I also think there’s nothing wrong with:
2. Since you can’t know how she feels, consider the situation and act honestly according to your own feelings.
I’m the type who chooses option 2.
If the result is that she thinks you’re “too intense,” “a nuisance,” or, worst of all, “creepy,” then the relationship will naturally deteriorate afterward (awkward wording, I know...).
If that happens, you’ll realize that there was a huge gap between how much you liked her and how much she liked you. Put another way, you’ll understand that you had been blinded by love and weren’t calmly judging the distance between you.
After making that kind of mistake a few times, you can move past the imbalance of “being the only one deeply in love while the other person isn’t interested at all,” and you may even end up in a truly mutual relationship.
So, both from the perspective of learning and of developing the relationship, I recommend option 2!
P.S. Oh, and by the way, the woman I’m seeing has the same birthday as me. Different years, of course lol. I think it’s kind of nice knowing I’ll never forget her birthday（笑）
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This is Potassium.
It might be more accurate to say that I had a reason why I couldn’t avoid making my birthday public.
I started using LINE before I was an adult, and when I turned 18, there was a time when I had to make my birthday public so apps linked to LINE could verify my age. After that, I got tired of changing the settings every time, so I ended up leaving it public, I guess...
It seems like there aren’t any apps linked that way anymore (maybe because I’m an adult now, haha), but that’s why I’ve left my birthday visible. It was nearly ten years ago, so I don’t remember the details very well.
Oh, by the way, I’m extremely bad at remembering birthdays, so I write the birthdays of close friends who haven’t set theirs on LINE next to their names.
So honestly, I’m kind of happy when people leave their birthdays public, haha. I also enjoy giving presents more than receiving them!
That’s my experience.
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If they’ve listed their birthday and you know when it is, I think it’s a good idea to send them a message.
I didn’t have my papa’s birthday listed on LINE, so I didn’t know when it was either. While we were chatting on LINE, he mentioned that his birthday was coming up, so I gave him a present the next time we met. Though I ended up choosing something that I personally really liked, haha.
I recently had my own birthday, and one of the other answerers noticed it from my LINE and sent me a LINE gift. It was even something I liked. I was surprised and really happy!
Ahh, I kind of understand why these people are so well-liked by their papas. They were incredibly thoughtful.
I don’t think anyone dislikes being told “Happy Birthday.” At least, I was happy!
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I can’t imagine how giving a gift could be a negative.
That said, if it’s too expensive, they might start wondering if there’s some ulterior motive.
Depending on my mood, I often send several Starbucks gift cards for special occasions.
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> Giving them a present or sending a message on that day
That’s something people normally do for each other, right? If you’re dating someone or planning to keep seeing them. They’d do something for you too, wouldn’t they?
You’d celebrate other special occasions as well, of course. It depends on how many times you’ve met, but even if you’ve only just met, it’s still once a year or a special day, so you’d do something—send a message or whatever… something, at least.
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It depends on the person and the relationship.
I don’t think there’s one right answer that works for everyone.
If you consider how you normally interact with them, the answer should come naturally.
More generally, I honestly don’t understand why people asking questions are so eager to turn everything into a formula.
Could it be that you also use the exact same foreplay every time, regardless of who you’re with?
During sex, you watch your partner’s reactions and adjust what you do—how you use your mouth, how you touch them, and how much pressure you apply, right?
In the same way, I think you should pay attention to the other person and adjust how you interact with them in your everyday relationship.
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If you’re still seeing her, I think at least sending a message is fine.
As for gifts, everyone has different preferences and circumstances, so it might be best to ask whether she’d like one or not.
Personally, I think the smoothest approach is to ask casually on a date after exchanging contact information—usually the second date, I suppose—something like, “Is the date you wrote on LINE your birthday?” If it is, I’d send a brief, not overly persistent birthday message on the day itself and save the actual celebration for another day.
I didn’t quite understand the part about “the number of people you’ve met since getting to know each other,” so my answer is only about the message. Sorry if I misunderstood.
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