My papa (a male supporter) and I have been seeing each other under a monthly arrangement of ¥100,000 for about two years. He seems like he has something to say, so I’m worried he may ask to increase our meetings from twice to three times a month—or suggest lowering the allowance.

It’s best to assume that it will decrease over time. If things continue for a long time, are you both grateful to each other? Do you both want to do more for the other person? If so, each of you will naturally want to do even more for the other: The man will want to increase the allowance. The woman will think, “You don’t have to increase it—I’ve already received more than enough. I’m okay with getting less, too.” The question is whether you have a relationship where both of you can feel that way. Good results come when there’s no ulterior motive.

Generally, the allowance is more likely to go down than up after the first meeting. In my case, though, the allowance stays the same even with women I’ve been seeing for a second year.

Female member, Potassium: I think it depends on the person asking the question. Things like how you treat him and your personality, as well as the man’s personality and way of thinking… Since it can vary greatly depending on all kinds of terms and the relationship between you, I don’t think there’s a single answer to the question, “As the relationship continues, does the allowance increase or decrease?” Speaking only from my own experience, my papa (a male supporter) is incredibly kind and wonderful, so after three months of dating, he started giving me a monthly allowance. (We’ve been seeing each other for over six months now.) He’s even said he’s considering giving me a bonus in certain months, so I’m genuinely happy just knowing how he feels. I always enjoy our relationship and want to do my best to make it even more fun for both of us. Wait, if I’m enjoying it, does that mean it isn’t really effort? No, of course not! It’s important that we enjoy the relationship together! So if I were in the questioner’s position, rather than looking for general rules and then judging the man, I think I’d first take a moment to reconsider our relationship—especially my own behavior. That’s just my personal opinion.

As the relationship continues, if I come to value the woman more, her allowance goes up. If I start to lose interest, it goes down. It’s not the kind of thing where the allowance automatically increases just because we’ve been seeing each other for a long time.

It varies from person to person and from relationship to relationship. In many cases, I think a request to lower the allowance is because the man isn’t fully satisfied with the relationship.