I cut off a papa who had developed feelings for me.

Question

Was the choice I made the right one? I’m registered with several services, including this dating club, and do papa-katsu. Whether I’ve simply been lucky or my efforts have paid off, I currently have 10 to 15 monthly arrangements who give me an allowance of ¥100,000 or more. Including those who give me ¥80,000, I have around 25 supporters. I’ve received gifts worth over ¥1 million, and there have even been times when someone supported me with over ¥100,000 for a single night. Among them was a monthly arrangement I met through this site, whom I had grown fond of over the past six months. Unlike the others, I talked to him about everything—how hard I work at papa-katsu, my family problems, and so on. Recently, when I wasn’t feeling well, he even gave me the same allowance for dinner only. Some supporters give expensive gifts even for dinner only, and some give over ¥100,000 even when an adult relationship isn’t possible, so I think I relied on him emotionally rather than for the terms of the arrangement. However, I started sensing that he was having financial difficulties, and then he canceled our next plans. Since he has a wife and children, I wondered whether he would be happier if I were no longer in his life, so I blocked his contact information. Recently, someone in his family passed away, and even though he was going through that, he still met with me. When I told him that perhaps he should stop seeing me for now and focus on his family, he ignored me. Because I had genuinely developed feelings for him, I felt that if we stayed connected without seeing each other, we would eventually end up arguing. I wanted him to remember me as a beautiful memory.

Answer 1

I feel pretty much the same as everyone else. Trying to dress up your own decision as proof that you’re a kind person is childish. You seem to want to line up your papa-katsu success stories and say you don’t judge people by money, but as you yourself wrote, you cut ties because you pride yourself on being a woman who can’t be won over by just any ordinary allowance. No matter how prettily you put it, you’re still simply offering yourself physically for the money. Keep that in mind. —Akari

Answer 2

I don’t know what the right answer is either. I think all you can do is take responsibility for the decisions you make. That said, I think it’s cowardly to think, “Maybe they’d be happier if I stepped aside.” Someone I used to date once became ill and told me something like, “I won’t be able to have an adult relationship (intimate) for the foreseeable future, so I think it would be better for you if we broke up.” I felt an indescribable mix of anger, sadness, and discomfort. We did eventually break up, but for a while afterward, I harbored feelings that were almost like hatred. Please don’t use “the other person’s happiness” as a cover for your own weakness. Make the decision for yourself, properly.

Answer 3

Both parties have the right to end things. You only find out later whether it was the right decision, so at this point, no one can know whether it was truly for the best. That said, I don’t understand why you felt the need to mention your own allowance amount. You’re really just trying to one-up others, aren’t you? I feel sorry for the papa being pitied by a papa-katsu woman like that.

Answer 4

It’s fine to cut off guys who are broke.

Answer 5

Whether something is right or wrong is ultimately just a matter of society’s general moral standards, so honestly, I don’t think it’s worth worrying about too much. What matters more is believing that your own decision and actions were the right ones—whether you choose to break up or stay together. So if I were answering, I’d say, “I think you made the right choice.”

I cut off a papa who had developed feelings for me.

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I cut off a papa who had developed feelings for me.

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