I’d like to continue seeing a Type C woman I met once; things progressed to an adult relationship (intimate). I thought the allowance was good, and our conversation over dinner was fairly lively, but her reactions during the intimate part were rather subdued (she did say she was passive), and I was the one who asked for her LINE before we parted, so I didn’t really feel much enthusiasm from her. After we went our separate ways, she did message me saying, “I’d definitely love to see you again!” though…

> Just small talk If you can get really carried away and the conversation never lags, doesn’t that mean you’re a good match? I don’t think that happens very often… that kind of chemistry… Though it doesn’t sound like the person asking the question was that engaged… > Hard to get a feel for the chemistry This applies to both men and women, and it’s not limited to the club. Not long ago, I met a woman for a first date and thought within seconds that there was no way I’d continue because she looked so different from her club photos. But afterward, she messaged me saying, “This feels like fate,” “I’m so happy,” “I hope we can keep seeing each other for a long time,” and “Let’s meet lots of times.” You really can’t tell. Maybe that’s just the conversational skill of a popular woman who constantly receives dozens of offers? I still have no idea, but I’m thinking of keeping her around as a backup for when I have free time, since that’s what she wants. Wait—am I the one being played here after all?? 恒一

If she really didn’t like you, she would have blocked you. Since she replied on LINE, I think you can at least assume she doesn’t dislike you. For a woman who’s only putting up with things because of the money, getting her to change her reactions beyond that is extremely difficult. You’d probably need to offer something more than money—some kind of appeal that’s unique to you. If you’re looking for a woman who responds a little more enthusiastically, I think it would be quicker to make offers to more women and find one among them. People rarely change. Though she might change her attitude if you offered to double her allowance… lol.

From the way you phrased your question, I wouldn’t say she dislikes you, but I also can’t tell whether she’s especially fond of you. Every girl expresses her feelings differently. That said, thinking back to the papas I stayed with long-term, almost none of them asked from the start what kind of relationship I was looking for. There was one papa who did ask, but I wasn’t able to answer very well myself, so it may not have been all that helpful. Still, when things are meant to work out, they usually do. So if she’s someone you don’t want to lose, I think it’s best not to be stingy with her allowance. Since you met through compensated dating, it’s only natural that the allowance forms part of the foundation of the relationship…. Sometimes the bond deepens from there, and the other person can become irreplaceable. So try facing her sincerely without thinking about “getting the better deal” or cost-effectiveness.

I generally don’t talk about work. I’ll discuss hobbies if the woman brings them up. If anything, I’m more likely to ask about her past experiences and her thoughts on an adult relationship (intimate). I make sure to discuss the allowance, how often we’ll meet, her thoughts on seeing multiple people, and things like using condoms during our first meal together. By the way, I think the questioner may be misunderstanding this, but in my view, a woman’s “chemistry” with someone includes the allowance as well.

You must have had such a wonderful encounter that it made you change your original goal! I’m happy for you♪ I don’t think the things you mentioned—“being somewhat unresponsive during the adult relationship (intimate)” and “you were the one who asked for her LINE”—are enough to conclude that she isn’t interested in you. Even women who really like a man can be somewhat reserved during intimate moments, and asking for someone’s LINE is probably just a matter of timing. If you have a good time talking and a second date is arranged smoothly, I don’t think you need to worry too much. In my case, I used to have fairly in-depth conversations right from the beginning. My preferred style is to seriously date someone I like—to become a real boyfriend and girlfriend and pursue a romantic relationship. So I wanted to find out what the other person was looking for first. I wanted to know early on things like how much monthly support she wanted and how often she hoped to meet. However, in the end, it didn’t work out. Even if you agree on terms that both of you are comfortable with at the beginning, circumstances on both sides can change over time—work commitments, illness, caring for family, and so on. In those situations, the original arrangement could become unbalanced, even if it didn’t exactly feel like a burden. Whenever I tried to adjust things, it ultimately came down to increasing or decreasing the amount, and I wasn’t able to find a good balance. Because of those experiences, with the person I’m seeing now, we only agreed that I would give her a set amount each time we met, regardless of whether we spent intimate time together. Even so, after seeing each other for a few months, we naturally settled into a routine. These days, we meet two or three times a week—around eight to ten times a month. We don’t have to ask things like, “I’d like ¥___ per month,” or say, “I can pay up to ¥___ per month.” As long as there’s mutual trust, the total can naturally be worked out as “the pay-per-meeting amount × the number of meetings,” so we don’t have in-depth discussions about the terms of our arrangement. If your goal isn’t an adult relationship (intimate) but romance, then based on my experience, I think it’s better not to get too deep into discussions about money and sex. I feel that the process of sensing and understanding those things through each other’s feelings is what makes it romantic. I hope things work out well for you.

I think the person asking the question should probably take a step back and relax. What exactly do you mean by “having a serious, future-oriented conversation”? Even couples who aren’t in a compensated arrangement generally wouldn’t start discussing their future in depth from the very first meeting. If they did talk about the future right away, it would probably be something fairly general, like whether they like children, as couples who met through a matchmaking service might discuss. What does it mean to decide what kind of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) you both want? You would agree on things like the allowance and how many times a month you’ll meet, and discuss boundaries around intimacy. But I wouldn’t ask whether someone wants to travel together or where they’d like to go when I don’t even know whether they snore. That’s not something you can decide yet. I’ll talk about work if I’m asked, but basically, I assume women aren’t interested, so I don’t bring it up. I’ll talk about hobbies if we share the same interests, but not if we don’t. In general, I think women tend to feel put off by men who rush things.

I’m a male member. I completely understand how you feel. When I first joined, my only goal was adult relationships, and I fantasized about being able to see lots of ordinary young women, haha. But I changed my approach to a pseudo-romantic relationship. I met my current dating partner through a letter-date offer fairly soon after joining, and we had an incredibly strong connection. It was purely instinctive. Before becoming intimate on our first date, I suggested having the kind of in-depth conversation about the future that you’re probably imagining. Specifically, we discussed the maximum monthly allowance I could offer, how often we could meet, our ideal dates, and a commitment to gentlemanly manners. Since then, our relationship has been truly wonderful and fulfilling, both physically and emotionally. It’s the result of trusting my instincts. We do occasionally argue because of my shortcomings, but even that is part of what makes our relationship special. Questioner, a pseudo-romantic relationship can be great too. And when the chemistry is right, you’ll naturally feel it. Good luck on your second date! These are the facts and my personal opinion.

Haha, that’s a good question. Even in a dating-club relationship, you’re still dealing with another person, so it’s only natural to wonder about these things（笑） You said your first meeting was just the usual small talk, but that’s pretty normal. As you meet a second and third time, you can talk about your approach to the relationship and what you’re looking for in a woman. I don’t think your expectations will match perfectly from the start, but if you can meet each other halfway, it could turn into a good relationship. After meeting four or five times, I think you can get a general sense of each other’s personalities. But to really understand someone, you probably need about six months（笑） Once a relationship lasts around a year, it tends to become pretty firmly established. In our case, we’ve ended up continuing this effortless, never-ending relationship—just kind of drifting along without either of us seeing an end in sight.

I gradually get into deeper topics over the course of a year or more. After three years, it feels like there’s nothing left we don’t know about each other. Even a good woman can be the passive type in bed. I don’t think that necessarily means she dislikes you. You can show her the ropes, but in my experience, she’ll never quite compare to a woman who was erotic from the very first time. Personally, if I enjoy talking with her, I’d continue seeing her for dinner only for three years—and we even travel together. If there’s nothing else either, I’d politely part ways.

I never talk about my hobbies or work. As for what I do talk about, it’s exactly the kind of content discussed in this Q&A box. I’m not entirely sure what “a deep conversation that looks ahead” means, but I tell them the allowance amount and make it clear from the start that I’ll use a condom. I also always ask about their no-goes. I don’t leave anything vague. It’s the most important thing. P.S. Regarding “a deep conversation that looks ahead,” from the very first meeting, I’m already thinking, “I wonder how this relationship with her will eventually end?” That doesn’t mean I’m cold. If anything, it’s probably the kindest part of me. I want the relationship to be something she won’t remember sadly just because she met me. Even if it doesn’t become a happy memory, I at least want her to be able to forget it as if it never happened. Because I don’t want to hurt someone I’ve come to care about. Questioner, you should recognize that a penis can be a weapon, and be gentle when putting it into a woman’s vagina and heart.