Do you care how the allowance you give is spent?
I know everyone has different reasons for doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but are there ways you’d be happy to see it used—or ways you wouldn’t like?
Also, do the women you’re seeing ever tell you how they spent their allowance?
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I don’t mind it.
When conversations start including savings and investments, I feel reassured that she’s becoming more financially secure. Naturally, we also end up seeing each other more often for dates outside of hotels.
I can tell from our conversations what she bought, so I don’t think at all about whether she paid with money she earned herself or with her allowance.
Also, if we’ve only just met and she’s in a tight spot and needs money for something, I’m willing to help her get out of that situation as quickly as possible.
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I don’t particularly mind.
That’s because I see the allowance as something I’ve given her—a gift.
For example, I dislike designer brands, so if she asked me to buy her one, I’d end things right then and there.
But if the woman I’m seeing saves up her allowance and buys one herself, that’s totally fine with me.
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I’m not a papa myself, but it seems papas often pretend they “don’t care” while still having certain things they’d rather not see their allowance used for.
For example, “Putting all of it toward beauty expenses is a bit much…” (men don’t always understand women’s passion for beauty) or “I’d be really put off if she used it to lavish money on a host.”
To avoid giving that impression, it can help to mention relatable uses, such as, “I used it for tuition,” “I’m putting it toward transportation costs for ○○,” or “It’s helping cover my club expenses.”
That way, they get a clearer sense of your personality and lifestyle, and they may even be happy that you trusted them enough to open up.
It’s a bit calculated, though…
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I don’t really care how they use their allowance either, but they sometimes tell me things like:
“I put it into savings.”
“I used it for living expenses.”
“I deposited it into my investment account.”
“I spent it on cosplay.”
I’d love for them to bring the cosplay they bought and wear it for me, but they never do (涙).
Personally, I’d be happy if they deposited it into an investment account. The funds might eventually run out, but there’s a good chance they’ll use that money as seed capital to produce golden eggs for them in the future.
When those golden eggs hatch, it would be wonderful if they remembered that Date-san taught them what to do.
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I don’t mind.
That said, I do feel happy when I hear things like, “I was able to save up enough to take a trip,” “I was able to pay for my mother’s hospital bills,” or “I was able to cover my tuition.”
I don’t need detailed reports about every small expense.
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As I’ve mentioned in a few previous answers, it doesn’t bother me.
I don’t have any particular preferences about what the allowance is used for, either.
Sometimes, women tell me what they bought or what they spent the allowance on. When that happens, I’m glad they feel comfortable sharing something personal with me.
P.S.
I’ve heard all kinds of reasons, but when one woman told me she used it for a wedding gift for a friend, I remember thinking, “Maintaining friendships must be tough.” When another said she used it for transportation to visit her long-distance boyfriend, I thought, “Her boyfriend should be paying for her travel expenses.”
Of course, I only thought it—I didn’t say it out loud.
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