I’m sorry for posting a question that isn’t really about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), but I’d really like to hear a man’s perspective, so I decided to ask anyway. I hope that’s okay.

Choking and slapping are probably part of his sexual preferences and play. If he didn’t tell you beforehand, it sounds like it doesn’t align with your preferences, so you should speak up. I watched Mac’s YouTube video too. I had no idea he was doing things like that. Both people need to be able to enjoy themselves.

If you yourself felt that it seemed like “a kind of marking,” then I think it’s fine to take it that way. Only the other person knows what’s really going on in their mind. Psychology might help you make an educated guess, but you can’t know whether it’s 100% accurate. In the end, I think you have to go by how you felt about it. > “I still can’t come up with an answer for myself.” I think it’s good that you’ve realized there are all kinds of people out there. Whether it’s a preference, stress relief, or something else, what matters is whether you can continue being with this person. If you feel you can’t deal with someone like that, you should end things. But if you still want to be with them even if it was just stress relief, then you can choose to stay together. Rather than focusing on why they did it, I think you should think about whether you still want to be with them despite it.

I’d break things off too, without a second thought. Whether it’s a fetish or violence, there’s nothing to think about. Cut loose any weak man who takes out his stress on others and doesn’t treat women with respect!

Other than being given a hickey, I’ve never done anything like that. That man may not be abnormal, but I do think he’s pretty unusual. I absolutely hate macho, aggressive, or loud types, so anything resembling domestic violence is out of the question.

“We’re not dating, so I guess it isn’t domestic violence.” Maybe not. It’s simply assault. Leaving hickeys or spraying someone with perfume are also forms of violence. There have even been cases where leaving a hickey was treated as causing injury. Unauthorized intimate recordings are illegal too… That person’s actions are a whole parade of criminal offenses! And you’re wondering what it means for him to leave hickeys… Are you okay in the head?? Instead of wasting time thinking about something that naive, you should urgently be figuring out how to get away from him as smoothly as possible.

I’m not a man, but since it said “anyone,” I’ll offer my answer—please bear with me. Even though you describe him as a “man who commits domestic violence” and say things like “a man like this,” the fact that you can’t bring yourself to break up with him makes me wonder if you’ve also fallen for him in a way. I would break up with him, but perhaps it isn’t that simple for you. Honestly, I think you have to weigh whether staying together is worth it or not. Try thinking through, one by one, what you like and dislike about him: “I hate this about him, but I like that about him...” If there are more things you dislike, then you should break up. But if, despite everything, there are more things you like, then all you need to do is make an effort to improve the relationship by communicating your feelings. As for the marking, perhaps it’s simply because you’ve become a casual sex partner—a woman who’s convenient for him—and he’s acting out of a sense of possessiveness. Once you become his girlfriend, that possessiveness may fade, and he may look for another woman to possess. I’m sorry for speaking based purely on my own assumptions.

Only he knows the truth, but I think he may have a fetish for marking his territory. In the broad sense, sex can be an outlet for stress, so I can’t deny that it may have served that purpose. If he found you unattractive, there probably wouldn’t have been a next time. Since he still wants to see you, I don’t think he was put off by your appearance. Whether you should continue seeing a man who records intimate footage without permission is for you to decide. Why do so many people leave their judgment up to others? I thought the day might end peacefully, so it’s disappointing that the final post wasn’t related to the dating-club knowledge-sharing Q&A. The person claiming to be the original questioner later posted, “Because there was an answer that was far too heartless,” but the post was hidden, so I’m quoting and adding it here. > Of course, there are parts of what you said that I think are correct, but wasn’t that last comment completely unnecessary? > > I asked because I have some experience with papa-katsu, so I thought I had the right to post. I also apologized at the very beginning for asking something unrelated, yet your comment comes across as nothing more than a spiteful insult. > > Aren’t you the one who has made things the least peaceful? > > You may have thought the day would end peacefully, but everyone has different experiences and worries from day to day. Sometimes you want to ask someone else for their opinion, but wonder who you can turn to. That’s why I may want to ask someone with extensive knowledge of the body or deep life experience. So this is really none of your business. This is the “Anonymous Papa-Katsu Question Box.” It’s a place where people can ask anonymous questions about papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). The idea that having some papa-katsu experience gives you the right to post here, or that apologizing would make your question acceptable, is nothing more than your wishful thinking. I try to answer sincere questions about papa-katsu sincerely. I’m not here simply to insult people, nor do I look down on every questioner. I deliberately wrote that I was disappointed because I don’t want this question to lead people to believe that the “Anonymous Papa-Katsu Question Box” is a place where you can ask questions unrelated to papa-katsu just because you participate in it. If anything, I wrote it precisely because I do have empathy.