I’m in my early 30s and thinking about starting papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
This content is machine-translated.
Honestly, I’m open to an adult relationship (intimate), but I don’t feel safe doing that the first time we meet. I’d rather wait until I’ve met someone a few times and decided I’m comfortable with it.
Most people seem to be looking for an adult relationship (intimate) from the start, so things don’t go anywhere. But when I say, “Maybe after we’ve met a few times,” they assume I’m just stringing them along. What should I do?
I assume you’re still at the stage of registering with a papa-katsu app and seeing how things go.
If so, I’d give the same answer as Kazu: come in for an interview at Universe Club and register as a Type B member. I think that should solve the problem.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I don’t think you need to force yourself to do it on the first day.
The key is finding a way to see each other without either of you feeling uncomfortable!
Even if you’re registered as a Type B, some men may invite you to take things further on the first date. In that case, you can politely decline with a plausible excuse, such as, “I’m sorry, I just don’t have the courage today…” or “I’m embarrassed because I’m not wearing my special lingerie today…”
If they keep pressuring you after you’ve said no, they’ll probably continue trying to push you into things, so you might as well assume there won’t be a next time and choose one of these options:
1. Give in and ask for a higher allowance
2. Absolutely refuse, find a way to turn them down, and report them to the club
Of course, it would be wonderful to meet such a great man that you actually want to take things further even on the first date!
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Ah, yes, you hear that a lot. Apparently, there are quite a few men who keep pushing even after you tell them you’re not comfortable with anything intimate from the first day.
There’s nothing strange about the way you feel, so I think you should make your boundaries clear and accept that you can’t pursue things with someone who doesn’t respect them.
It does seem like the quality of men has been declining, so you may come across some who are overly persistent. But there are definitely men who genuinely respect women’s feelings, so keep looking for that kind of connection.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
Female member, Potassium here.
It’s easier mentally to be told, “You only have one more lap to go,” rather than having to keep running until the teacher says, “Stop,” right?
It’s the same thing here. So it’s smoother if you tell the other person where the endpoint is in advance.
With Universe, you’d probably be a Type B. But since an adult relationship (intimate) is expected from the second meeting onward, if that’s not possible, you’ll need to set your own deadline and negotiate.
That’s just my personal opinion.
Oh, I’m going to lose my sleep time on the train, so I should probably get to bed soon....
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If you’re a Type B, I don’t think there’s any problem with not entering an adult relationship right away.
To avoid making him think you’re just stringing him along, maybe the best approach is to genuinely enjoy dates without intimacy. And if you decide that he’s not for you, you may have no choice but to gradually fade out while still keeping up the appearance of a pseudo-romantic relationship.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
If you keep meeting people, you may eventually come across men who don’t rush to bring up an adult relationship (intimate), or women who are willing to bring it up themselves.
You’re not going to find your ideal match that quickly. Everyone—men and women alike—has different ways of thinking.
Also, what concerns me is that men generally hope to eventually move toward an adult relationship (intimate) with a woman they enjoy spending time with. So if he likes you, he’ll usually approach things carefully. That means it’s probably uncommon for the conversation to become awkwardly drawn out, with lines like:
“After we’ve met a few more times…”
followed by “maybe later…” and so on.
You may need to work on that aspect, or it’s possible this simply isn’t a good fit for you.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
