Tips
Jan 4, 2023 20:42
8 answers
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I get the impression that women only use the calendar feature at the beginning.
I don’t think many women bother to keep making minor updates whenever plans are added or canceled.
So I feel it’s perfectly normal to reach out even when there’s nothing listed on the schedule.
That said, I do check the 【Dates】 section when it comes to offers.
For example, I usually meet on weekends, so I don’t send offers to women who are only available on weekdays.
Other
I tried using the calendar feature too, but I didn’t get any offers during that period, so I stopped updating it as often. Just like Maezawa-san said… lol
If it’s for work, these things can’t really be helped, and I don’t think turning down an offer will leave a bad impression.
That said, rather than simply declining, I think it’s important to suggest an alternative, like: “I’m available on the ○th or ○th.”
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
More and more men are finding that even when they make an offer based on a woman’s calendar and choose a day marked as available, they still get turned down.
This may be because, for example, even if a woman updates her calendar regularly, if she doesn’t receive a single offer during that time, she eventually gets tired of keeping it updated and leaves it as it is.
As a result, even when a woman appears to be updating her calendar properly, men can’t be sure whether it’s accurate, so they’ve started making offers regardless of what the calendar says.
It sounds like you’re diligently keeping yours updated, but at this point, the calendar has become a feature that isn’t very useful.
So I think you’ll continue to receive offers regardless of what your calendar shows.
> Does turning them down leave a bad impression?
Many men are thinking not only about meeting once, but also about continuing to see you in the future.
(Of course, not all of them—some men are only looking for a one-time meeting.)
If the schedules don’t line up the first time, they may feel that it will probably be difficult to coordinate schedules in the future as well. In that sense, I think it may leave a somewhat negative impression.
However, looking at it the other way, from the woman’s perspective, this may be someone who will often invite you on days when you can’t go on a date. If that would be stressful for you, then you could also see it as someone you wouldn’t mind losing interest in, even if it means leaving a bad impression.
So I don’t think you need to force yourself.
Other
When making an offer, you’re required to enter five possible dates. So, if a woman uses the calendar feature and only has three dates within the next week or two that work with my schedule, I’ll sometimes include the other two as long shots. I always read through all of her information carefully before making an offer, so in my case it’s never because I overlooked something.
Sometimes the dates don’t work out, but I feel that most women suggest alternatives. I can’t really think of an example where someone simply said, “Our schedules don’t work. That’s it.” But if that did happen, I’d probably feel it was too much of a hurdle and wouldn’t pursue it any further.
Usually, the alternative dates are about two weeks out, though sometimes I’ll get something like, “I’m busy this month, so how about a month from now?” I’ve had cases where I temporarily let things go with a message like, “A month from now? Okay, I’ll make another offer in two or three weeks,” only for her profile to disappear in the meantime. So if I’m genuinely interested, I’ll go ahead and commit even if the date is a month away.
Taro
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I think most papas (male supporters) understand that they may be turned down.
It leaves a good impression if you politely suggest several alternative dates.
As other respondents have mentioned, not every woman keeps her calendar updated regularly. I use it as a reference, but I’ll still make an offer for dates that aren’t explicitly marked as available.
Other
In my case, I initially made offers based on the calendar. But even when a date was marked as available, the arrangement sometimes didn’t work out, and other times we ended up meeting on a day marked unavailable. So I stopped paying too much attention to the calendar.
I mainly used it as a rough reference to picture future dates—for example, “She’s an office worker, so weekends or evenings are probably best,” or “She works in the beauty industry, so weekends are probably difficult.”
I think it’s fine to turn down a date if you’re actually unavailable, even if you marked it as available on the calendar. But if you keep declining offers one after another, they’ll probably withdraw the offer. Just make sure your availability is reasonably accurate when you set it.
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
Few women keep their calendars updated regularly, so he’s just checking—figuring it’s worth a shot—to see whether your plans have changed.
If you can’t make it, it’s perfectly fine to say no.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
From a man’s perspective, you never really know what a woman means by the availability she marks on her calendar, so he’s probably just asking on the off chance.
By “what she means,” I mean whether she absolutely can’t meet on any day other than the ones marked available, or whether she might try to adjust her schedule.
I don’t think you need to worry about bizarre people who judge you negatively just because a request made on the off chance didn’t work out.
By the way, if most answers here said things like, “That’s normal,” or “Turning him down makes a bad impression,” what would you plan to do? Why are you asking?