Even if you decide on the date for your next meeting during the first meeting, do you ever turn it down later?
② Question for the male respondents:
I meet a woman once a month, and we’re going to meet for the third time. The working women contact me regularly, but I hardly ever hear from the student. Considering the possibility of continuing the arrangement, should I email the student at least once myself, or would it be better to leave things as they are? I’m the type who tends to match the other person’s level of contact.
③ Question for all respondents:
At the table during a first meeting, my partner asked to exchange LINE contacts because she wanted to send me a thank-you message. I declined, saying, “I’ve already received your thanks here,” but the atmosphere became extremely awkward. I’m now thinking about how to handle situations like this in the future.
What do you usually do in situations like this? Would you exchange LINE contacts, exchange thank-you messages, and then block the person afterward?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
① Even if she wasn’t interested, it would be hard for her to turn you down. In that case, there’s a chance things may just fizzle out.
You need to properly gauge your chemistry and only suggest meeting again if you both seem interested. If you don’t mention a specific nearby day—like tomorrow or the day after—the other person won’t even know you like them. If it’s a week or more from now, you can always message each other after you get home.
② If she’s a student, she may be able to meet two or three times a week—or even every day if you hit it off. So if you’re only meeting once or twice a month, she probably won’t go out of her way to message you on LINE.
③ After exchanging contact information, why not just leave the messages unread or read without replying?
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
② If you’ve only met three times, once a month, you’re still not particularly close. Considering the possibility of a last-minute cancellation, I’d send a reminder message on LINE a few days beforehand.
③ I usually exchange LINE contacts without thinking too much about it.
That may be largely because I wouldn’t have a problem with them knowing my real name.
Some women don’t want their real names known, so they set their LINE display name to just one letter, like “M.”
By the way, under normal circumstances, I don’t block people either.
If I don’t want to continue seeing someone, I simply tell them directly on LINE.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
② I do think there’s a possibility she isn’t contacting you because you’re using email. If you were using LINE, she might reach out.
Now that chat apps are becoming the main form of day-to-day communication in business, even students hardly use email anymore.
Gen Z, especially those who only use smartphones and don’t own computers, probably don’t use email in their daily lives because it doesn’t work as naturally with smartphones. I get the impression they only use it with people they don’t want to exchange LINE with, or when it’s required for job hunting or other situations.
Even comparing the time it takes to open the app and start communicating, LINE takes about a second, while email takes around ten seconds. Email puts a particularly heavy burden on the person initiating the conversation. Unless you send a message that makes it easy for her to reply, you should assume there’s almost a 0% chance she’ll email you first.
That said, it’s perfectly fine for the man not to contact her at all. There are also quite a few women who dislike men contacting them too frequently. I think it’s best to discuss it and decide together.
③ “I declined to exchange LINE contacts.”
Of course that made things awkward. It’s basically like saying, “I don’t want to stay in touch with you.”
Putting it in a business context, it’s like meeting someone for the first time and refusing to exchange business cards by saying, “I know your face and name, so I don’t need your business card.”
Even if you think, “I’m never going to do business with this person or company,” you’d still exchange business cards as a matter of etiquette, right? If nothing comes of it afterward, you can simply choose not to contact them.
It seems like you may have unintentionally sent the opposite message from what you meant. You probably thought you were being considerate of the woman, but it came across the other way. Through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I think you can develop and improve your communication skills in that area. The allowance is your tuition.
If something feels off, you can ask her directly, “Sorry, did I say something wrong?” Or, like this time, you can post your question anonymously.
It’s me.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
You sound like a very sincere person.
① I’m not a female member, but I’ll answer anyway.
Yes, it happens—I’ve also had people suddenly stop responding and even block me on LINE.
② I’m not the type to sit around and wait. I contact them myself and finalize the schedule.
③ In that situation, I’d exchange LINE contact information, then leave the message unread and block them.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
① Even if you set a date for the next meeting during the first meeting, is it possible to turn it down later?
☆I think some people set a date just to avoid making things awkward in the moment. Why do you think they turned you down?
There could be many reasons: the allowance was too low, you looked unkempt, you were self-centered, and so on. People who are doing everything wrong usually don’t realize it themselves.
③ This is a question for the person who answered.
☆Exchanging LINE contacts is basic. Why didn’t you do it?
Not exchanging LINE contacts is basically the same as saying you don’t want to continue seeing each other.
You’re not getting second meetings because you haven’t even managed these basic things. Ask an experienced woman to show you the ropes once.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
I get the feeling that you may not be very good at picking up on the mood or reading between the lines...
I hope you’ll make a little more effort to ensure your partner enjoys the conversation during dinner and your message exchanges.
② I think the reason you rarely hear from them is that they don’t enjoy exchanging messages with you.
If they’re working adults and contact you regularly, perhaps they’re financially pressed.
③ Of course that would make things awkward...
This is a difficult question to answer. Hmm...
When we communicate with other people, being too blunt can sometimes lead to conflict.
For example, when exchanging LINE contacts, wouldn’t you be annoyed if someone said:
“I don’t really like you that much, but exchanging contacts seems like the polite thing to do, so I’ll say it anyway... Could we exchange LINE contacts?”
That’s why people use harmless expressions like, “I’d like to thank you...” to keep things smooth and avoid making the relationship awkward.
If you take that statement literally and respond with, “But you’ve already received your allowance,” the other person will be shocked.
I’m sure you don’t mean any harm, but as things stand, they definitely won’t see you as “a wonderful, gentlemanly man.” You may want to be a little more mindful of that.
I’m not sure whether this was the most accurate answer, but I thought I’d give it a try.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
① It might happen if the woman is timid.
The man may feel like things went well, while she isn’t really feeling it, but she finds it hard to turn down plans for the next time…
It’s best not to do that if possible, but I can see it happening with a pushy man.
③ Maybe say something like, “I use LINE for work, so I don’t use it for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)”?
Or exchange contact information for the time being, then wait a while and say you’re no longer able to meet.
Something along those lines should work for politely turning him down.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
② I’m the proactive type, so once we start seeing each other, I make sure to stay in touch every day—basically, one exchange of messages a day.
③ You should’ve exchanged LINE contacts!
When you meet, I think it’s best to carefully assess whether you’re compatible and then make an offer accordingly. Some women may not look closely at a man’s profile, but setting clear terms that they’re comfortable accepting should help prevent major misunderstandings.
Also, rather than blocking someone right away, I prefer to keep the door open at first and work out the details through our LINE messages.
Thankfully, there have been times when someone said something completely unreasonable after we’d exchanged messages two or three times… (lol)
I don’t mind being turned down.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
① It could happen if they made plans to meet again in the moment, even though they didn’t really intend to continue, and then later decided they didn’t want to meet after all. I’ve never done that myself, though.
Alternatively, something may genuinely have come up on the agreed date. In that case, they’d probably suggest another date, so if they don’t, I’d assume it’s the former.
③ Say that you don’t use LINE for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), and ask them to contact you by SMS at the number they initially called you from.
This question gives me the vague feeling that things may not go smoothly in various ways…
Good luck.
Marika
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
① I would decline if I absolutely couldn’t make it work, but that has never happened to me.
③ I think it’s better to exchange contact information as a way of showing respect to the other person.
You could exchange LINE contacts, send a quick “Thank you very much,” and then simply let the conversation fade out.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
②
I don’t want to continue seeing a woman who never contacts me, so I haven’t reached out to her either.
Whether you should contact her or leave things alone is up to you. If you want to match her level of effort, I’d say it’s fine to leave things as they are.
③
If you refuse to exchange contact information, I imagine it will make things awkward. You refused because you don’t want to stay in touch with that woman anymore, right?
Are you asking what we do when we don’t want to exchange contact information?
Before I’m asked for my contact details, I make it clear that I’m not interested in taking things any further, and steer things toward wrapping up. Most of the time, the woman picks up on it.
Once, someone still asked for my contact information. I told her, “I don’t use LINE for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan),” and gave her my KakaoTalk ID instead.
(3 replies left)
(3 replies left)
💡 This question has no password registered, so the reply feature is unavailable.
If you access from the device/browser used to post the question, you may be able to set a password later.
