I’ll be registering my marriage when I graduate from university. I’m planning to leave this site and secretly continue seeing just one papa (a male supporter) who has taken good care of me, even after I’m married.
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① When we meet, is it proper etiquette to take off my wedding ring? My papa is married too and says he doesn’t mind, but which would be better?
② Would it be rude to suddenly block my other transactional, non-generous papas without telling them I’m getting married?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
①If you’re confident you won’t lose it, I don’t see why you can’t take it off.
②It’s not particularly difficult to say, so why not just say it normally?
Marika
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① If he says he doesn’t mind, he probably really is okay with it. Personally, I’d find the taboo thrill of being cuckolded exciting and think it could make the adult relationship more passionate.
② If they don’t know your personal information, I think it’s fine to stop making plans, cut off contact, and block them. If they do know it, you never know what they might do, which is scary, so I think it’s better to end things politely.
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① Either is fine. If you’re acting as a papa (a male supporter), you wouldn’t worry about something like that in the first place.
② No problem. If he was that kind of papa, it’s understandable that he’d get blocked. It simply means he wasn’t appealing enough to maintain a connection with.
If he was a papa you really liked, you could also part ways after having him celebrate you in a big way. And if you ever need advice years later, there’s nothing wrong with meeting up again. You could even meet just for dinner, without any allowance involved.
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Personally, I wouldn’t recommend option 1.
It could lead to problems in your marriage, so wouldn’t it be better to graduate from papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)? Don’t be too greedy—focus all your energy on one person instead（笑）
I can’t recommend it, but if you do choose option 1, the two of you should decide on the terms yourselves.
In the case of option 2, I think it would be better to send a message saying, “Due to personal circumstances, I’ve decided to end this arrangement.”
Personally, I’d appreciate being notified—it would give me closure.
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I’ve never heard of etiquette like the one mentioned in ①.
If the man you’re seeing doesn’t like it, you can take it off; if he doesn’t mind, there’s no need to. And if you feel, “I don’t like wearing a ring because it makes me conscious of the fact that I’m married,” then you can take it off.
You should simply do what works for both of you. I don’t think there’s any one “right” way.
As for ②, speaking personally—I have no connection to the person asking this, of course… lol—I’d appreciate at least a brief message like:
“Thank you for everything. Due to personal circumstances, I’ve decided to end our arrangement.”
The man may have been low on your list of priorities, but he may actually have had feelings for you. And since it’s still true that he supported you, even if only modestly, I hope you’ll send a brief thank-you and let him know that it’s over.
You don’t have to explain why, even if he asks. I think it’s fine to send a thank-you message and then block him immediately.
But blocking him without saying anything at all… if possible, I’d rather you didn’t do that.
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If anything, ① is the one that violates proper etiquette, while ② is perfectly acceptable.
That’s because ① involves an affair with a married person, whereas ② does not.
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① I’m not familiar with that kind of etiquette.
I don’t think it really matters either way.
② I think that’s rude because it shows a lack of consideration.
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