Previously, I was the one initiating, and we would only go to a hotel about once every month or two. Recently, she’s started inviting me out, and we meet about once every two weeks, doing things like college-student dates without an adult relationship.
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I’m starting to develop real feelings for her. What do you think she’s feeling? Does she still see me as nothing more than a source of money? I’d appreciate an objective opinion.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂20s👑Universe male member
At your age, you should also enjoy meeting people outside the club. You’ll only be in your vibrant twenties once.
Spending this precious time in your life on something you can do at any age as long as you have money is a waste of time.
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It may sound harsh, but ultimately, you’re just a source of money to them.
How you meet someone really does make a big difference.
If you meet someone through a club, it’s only natural to assume they’re probably seeing multiple people, so that kind of relationship is fundamentally incompatible with romance.
I’m not saying it can never develop into a romantic relationship, but if you’re looking for love, I think searching through a club is inefficient.
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When you say “something like a college student’s date without anything adult,” you must have gone on dates like that when you were in college, right?
The female college students you dated back then were probably doing something much like papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) too—you just didn’t know it.
Also, you wrote that you might “fall seriously in love,” but the person you’re really about to fall in love with is your younger self from your college days. Just look in the mirror—you’re not young anymore. Wake up.
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You’re falling right into their trap.
Of course, a woman would be happy to get money without an adult relationship (intimate).
She probably won’t develop genuine feelings, though, so be careful. Either try not to get too deeply involved, or go all in and spend a lot of money. The choice is yours.
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The pay-per-meeting allowance is simply what you were given.
Once you get married, you may end up spending hundreds of millions of yen on your wife. Be prepared for that if you’re getting married.
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He’s a male member in his 20s, but we don’t know the other person’s age, the allowance for an adult relationship (intimate), or the allowance without one… With no details, it’s hard to know how to answer. I can’t make an objective judgment.
If there isn’t much difference in the allowance, then it could be a lucky situation where you get paid without having an adult relationship. Or, if you’re dating without receiving an allowance, maybe you simply have a relationship where you genuinely enjoy seeing each other.
Either way, the fact remains that they don’t dislike you. If anything, they probably like you.
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I’m with Adventure Merchant on this one!
I also got the feeling that things might be a little ambiguous. It doesn’t seem to be just an adult relationship—or merely about treating you as a cash cow（笑）
If you’re comfortable with it, I think you should continue as you are and do what you can for her. That’s what an adult relationship is all about.
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I think relationships through dating clubs ultimately start out as a source of money.
That said, it’s definitely possible for both people to develop genuine romantic feelings from there. But it’s also definitely an extremely exceptional and very rare case.
From what you’ve written—meeting about once every two weeks and going on college-student-style dates without an adult relationship (intimate)—I don’t feel that your relationship has deepened enough yet for either of you to think, “Maybe we could really fall for each other!”
The possibility of you both developing genuine feelings may not be zero, though. I hope it works out for you.
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