When I became intimate with a man I met through this club, he kept asking to kiss me. He said he loved kissing.
But his breath was absolutely awful, and the deep kissing went on so long that I felt like I was going to throw up.
I tried to avoid it naturally, but he lectured me, saying things like, “Don’t you like kissing?” “I can’t feel your emotions,” and “I can’t get hard.”
I gradually started getting angry, so I told him, “I’m worried that my breath might smell too, which is why I’m not good at kissing.” But he said, “It’s totally fine,” and tried to kiss me again…
I’m inexperienced too, and I know I probably looked uncomfortable and didn’t handle it very well. So I wanted to ask how I should communicate this kind of thing.
Would a man get offended if a woman he had only recently met bluntly told him, “Your breath really stinks”…?
I’ve already ended things with this man, but I’d appreciate any advice for future reference. Thank you.
Some people are just unbelievably smelly, even after brushing their teeth.
I wonder why.
I always think, “Can’t they tell?” Yet those are often the ones who want to make out the most.
I pretend to hide my face and quickly wipe my mouth on the pillow.
Of course, I’d only do that for someone incredibly attractive whom I didn’t want to cut ties with. But the man in your question sounds like the self-centered type, so I’d say goodbye.
Akari
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It’s the same with anything: if you’re prepared for the possibility of ending things, bring it up.
If it gets better, great. If not, you part ways.
That said, bad breath can’t always be fixed with brushing alone. If you can’t put up with it, I think it’s perfectly fine to end things.
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If it were me, I’d first create a natural moment to brush our teeth together before getting intimate—something like, “Wait, why aren’t you brushing your teeth?”
But honestly, I might choose the stress of ending things over the stress of having to worry about little things like that. Seriously, I wish people would take care of their own bad breath and body odor.
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I don’t want to kiss him because I might have bad breath.
To begin with, I think that excuse is a bit of a stretch.
If his smell is really bothering you, your only options are to tell him directly or end things.
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Being too blunt and saying, “Your breath is really bad, so please don’t kiss me,” could potentially lead to unnecessary trouble. I think it’s better to firmly say, “I don’t kiss.”
Whether it’s because of their bad breath, because you don’t like them, or simply because it’s one of your personal papa-katsu rules… in the end, all that matters is making sure they don’t kiss you.
At dating clubs, there are many situations where it’s better to clearly state the conclusion without explaining why.
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Like you, I’d also end things with someone who has really bad breath.
Marika
What Mac says makes perfect sense, but in the end, it’s difficult and such a hassle to bring it up, so it usually just ends with deciding to part ways.
You figure they can look elsewhere. From the man’s perspective, he may wonder why things never work out, but I’m not that considerate.
I suppose it also depends on Mac’s personality and the way he puts it, but I’m sure the people who are glad to know will appreciate him for telling them.
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