I’m the person who asked whether getting cosmetic surgery made me less popular. Thank you for your answers.
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As you pointed out, I do try to keep in mind that “a woman’s charm lies in her warmth and approachability”…
I make a point of smiling when I talk to people, but what I’m usually told is that I seem “confident and full of energy” and “like I’m good at my job.”
I asked my boyfriend about my charm, and he said, “You do have charm, but because you seem so strong-minded, there’s a limit to how approachable that charm feels.”
I’m also often told that I seem strong-willed, though he says, “It’s not that you look like you have a bad personality.”
I feel like I’m showing as much warmth and charm as I can, so I don’t know what else to do. What makes a beautiful woman seem approachable?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
A round face, maybe a cute, doe-eyed look?
Even if you get a lot of attention, there’s only so much time you have, and only confident men will approach you, so maybe it’s just right.
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I don’t think you need to worry too much about trying to be popular with every man.
> When I asked my boyfriend about my charm, he said, “You do have charm, but because I can sense that you have a strong core, it’s charm with a limit.”
> I’m also often told that I seem strong-willed, but he says, “It’s not like you come across as having a bad personality.”
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Based on that, I’d say you have the kind of presence women in our generation had: strong-minded, capable at work, and beautiful—a career woman type.
Back then, it was a shame that there weren’t many women like that around. Personally, though, I do like young women like you（笑）
That said, when I was young, the truth is that I couldn’t approach women because of my looks—and perhaps because I was poor.
Ah! I’m different now, though.
My face and wallet have both gotten thicker, so I’ve become what you might call “shameless”（笑）
Since your boyfriend seems to have taken it in a positive way, I don’t think you need to try to be liked by everyone.
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I like people like you—confident, vibrant, capable, and strong-willed.
You seem reasonably charming and don’t come across as a bad person, and you’re beautiful with a strong sense of self… That’s actually how I’d describe the woman I’m currently seeing（笑）
But to begin with, do you really want to be popular with as many men as possible?
I can understand how you feel, since I also went through a phase when I was younger when I wanted to be popular with lots of women. But whether you’re desired by 100 women or 10,000, you can’t date all of them…
At some point, I started thinking, “I don’t need to be popular with everyone. It’s enough if I’m liked by the woman I like and by the person I want to continue seeing.”
If you learn charm and other such qualities just to become popular with more men, and as a result lose the chance to meet someone who likes you exactly as you are now… that seems completely counterproductive to me.
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Approachable beauties tend to be both beautiful and cute. They’re even more appealing when they’re not perfect—maybe just a little absent-minded or imperfect.
If you tried approaching a striking beauty, you’d probably worry about getting told off, right?
Why not try shaping your eyebrows with slightly softer-looking makeup?
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Having lots of men pursue you doesn’t automatically mean you’ve reached the pinnacle of happiness. Don’t you think getting attention from a bunch of low-quality men is ultimately meaningless?
More importantly, if you have the communication skills to be loved by the person you love, you’ll be able to find a generous (well-paying) papa (a male supporter), and your beloved boyfriend may even adore you completely.
Also, when cosmetic surgery makes someone’s face seem unapproachable, it may be because they’ve made their double eyelids too wide, their nose too high, their lips too thick, or their chin too pointed.
These changes can make a face go from youthful to overly mature. Depending on how it looks, the result may be too heavy or intense, which can make it less appealing to men. A strong, masculine-looking face has more traditionally male features, so men may think, “I don’t want to date a man.”
I’m sorry to say this, but after getting procedures such as incisional double-eyelid surgery, inner-corner eye surgery, or a glamorous line procedure, could you have ended up looking a bit like a transgender woman? If you can return to your original appearance, doing so might actually make you happier in some ways. Sorry if this wasn’t the answer you were hoping for.
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I think the most approachable beautiful women are the ones with a few imperfections. You need to show some vulnerability.
But several people have already pointed this out in their answers: unfortunately, being so lacking in social skills that you can’t hold a conversation probably won’t go over well.
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