Hello. There are several female members I’ve added to my favorites because I’m planning to make them an offer, but sometimes they leave the club before I get the chance. I reflect afterward that I was simply too slow to act, but have any other male members had a similar experience?
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I try to infer from the club comments in their profiles whether they might leave soon after finding a good papa, or whether they seem like the type to leave quickly—for example, comments such as “I’m not looking to date a lot of people” or “I’d prefer to focus on just one person.”
Do the male members here try to identify women who seem likely to leave soon? If so, I’d appreciate hearing what signs you look for.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
You should sharpen your eye for picking the right people and make an offer right away.
Even outside the club, getting rejected after confessing your feelings usually means you lack that judgment.
The key is being able to sense whether the other person already likes you—or might come to like you. If you have that instinct, you can do well in relationships between men and women, including at a club.
By honing that eye, you’ll be able to find someone who feels more mutually drawn to you and deepen the relationship. If you’re overly suspicious or anxious, the other person will pick up on it. When you’re worried, the relationship will only develop as far as your doubts allow. Once you feel that something is too much for you, you won’t be able to go through with it.
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> Do you try to identify female members who seem likely to leave the service soon?
I don’t think there’s any need to do that.
If you’re thinking about making an offer, it’s better to go ahead and make it first.
That way, you can exchange contact information with her. Even if she leaves the service, you’ll still be able to stay in touch. And if you can no longer reach her, you’ll know that you simply weren’t her type.
I think it’s better to let go of the self-centered idea of, “I’ll make an offer someday.”
If someone catches your interest, meet her first.
That’s the best approach.
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In my case, I list the terms I’m willing to accept in my profile, and I also place a lot of importance on the club staff’s comments.
The woman I’m currently seeing matched the terms of my offer. I asked the club to introduce me to someone, and they acted very quickly. They moved so fast that I wondered if they had seriously considered the request themselves（笑）
But in the end, nearly five years have passed, and although it’s definitely not a serious romantic relationship, we’re still very close（笑）
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It’s entirely my own fault for not making an offer sooner—I couldn’t agree more.
I don’t have the luxury of wasting too many attempts either, so I’ve had plenty of experiences where someone left the service while I was still carefully considering things.
But ultimately, this comes down to human psychology, so there’s no way to predict it perfectly.
That said, after making offers to more than 50 women, I’ve developed a rough idea of what to look for.
First, I don’t think comments like “I’m not looking to date lots of people” or “I’d prefer to focus on one person” are particularly reliable.
In the end, any woman will remain registered for a reasonably long time if she isn’t receiving offers.
So, perhaps unsurprisingly, the main thing I look for is whether a woman is likely to receive a flood of offers—those women tend to leave the service quickly.
Back when I was making offers regularly, I would contact the staff and ask how many men had added a particular woman to their favorites.
That number is different from the number of dates, but surprisingly, the staff can often give you a fairly accurate figure.
This was especially useful for women who had only recently joined, since there’s not much information available about them and it helped me estimate how many offers they might receive going forward.
I’ve only just renewed my Gold membership, so I’m currently taking a break. I have a feeling it’ll probably last about six months…
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