I’m having a hard time dealing with a papa (a male supporter) who’s genuinely fallen for me.
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I never imagined it would be this emotionally painful. Since I’m single and don’t have a boyfriend, I used to think it might be fun to have a relationship that felt like a couple’s. But I’ve realized how naïve that was.
I consider possessiveness and prying to be part of the allowance arrangement, but he takes pictures of me while I’m eating, in my underwear, and nude. I tell him to delete them right away because I’m scared he might upload them online, but I haven’t checked his phone, so I don’t know whether he actually deleted them. Why does he want to take so many pictures?
He also seems to look through my bag while I’m in the shower. My wallet was left open, so I assume he may have seen my ID as well. But people involved in this kind of club wouldn’t really misuse that information or be dangerous, would they? Or am I being naïve about that too?
Even though I want to end things, I’m worried he might resent me and spread the photos, so I’d like to end the relationship as naturally as possible. This is my first papa (a male supporter) who’s genuinely fallen for me, and I’m finding it difficult to handle.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Anyone who takes photos without the other person’s permission is a dangerous person.
Someone who genuinely enjoys photography will ask for permission before taking a picture.
I don’t think that man has deleted the photos, so I think you should end things with him.
And this isn’t true love—it’s simply a dangerous man.
There are bad people in dating clubs too.
The clubs do their best to keep people like that out, but there are limits.
Above all, make sure to protect yourself.
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If you called this person a genuinely lovestruck papa (a male supporter), all the other genuinely lovestruck papas would be furious.
He’s simply dangerous.
As for the filming, he might claim that it was consensual between the two of you, but going through someone else’s belongings is practically criminal.
Also, it’s difficult to obtain evidence of someone rummaging through your things.
First of all, I recommend ending things with him as soon as possible.
After that, report the filming to the club and ask them to cooperate with the police investigation if the footage ever gets circulated.
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Filming without permission or rummaging through someone’s bag is completely unacceptable.
If something happens, he sounds like the type who might do something extreme.
You should proceed carefully and avoid provoking him, but the first step is definitely to have the data deleted.
I’m praying for your safety.
Akari
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Yeah, that’s not genuine romantic love.
Recording someone without their permission is an infringement of their rights and may be grounds for a claim for damages. The person who made the recording may also face criminal charges.
However, seeking compensation or having the other person prosecuted would be most painful for the woman involved.
Before it comes to that, it’s important to clearly refuse any recording. Don’t worry about it or fight it alone—report it to the club first.
I’m sure they’ll help you.
It’s me.
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I’m Potassium, a female member.
I agree with Seattle-san: that isn’t genuine romantic attachment.
He’s simply a dangerous person.
Someone who’s genuinely in love is a papa who doesn’t do things that make the other person uncomfortable and selflessly supports her without complaining. Of course, possessiveness can sometimes stem from concern, but it isn’t meant to cause trouble for her.
That papa may be a dangerous person, so it’s best to stay cautious. You could gradually say that life has gotten busier and that you’re quitting papa-katsu, then let the relationship naturally fade out. As for the club, say that you’ve withdrawn and request to be hidden from him.
That’s just my personal opinion.
P.S.
Mac-san,
I’m not saying that taking photos automatically means someone is dangerous.
In this case, the woman clearly didn’t want him to and was asking him to delete the photos, yet he still tried to take them. That’s why I consider him dangerous.
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Rather than just being genuinely infatuated, he’s already a stalker. First, gather clear evidence and report him to the staff.
Also, when you go on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) dates, leave any cards and ID from your wallet at home.
I hope you never have to experience the fear of waking up in your bed and seeing him staring intently down at you while licking his lips. Oh, and apparently house keys can be quickly duplicated from an impression, so be careful.
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That’s not so much being genuinely in love as it is simply unreasonable behavior.
If you don’t want unauthorized photos taken, you have to say so clearly. They’ll almost certainly keep them instead of deleting them. If you don’t end things properly, they may spread them around.
At first, verifying each other’s IDs is generally the rule, but if the relationship continues, you’ll eventually be able to trust them.
If the allowance isn’t enough to make putting up with this worthwhile, end things immediately. If they seem likely to become a stalker, threaten to report them to the police. In a dating club, I’d say there’s about a 10% chance they’d actually be stupid enough to go that far.
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