What’s the right reaction when receiving an allowance in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)?
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1. Bow your head repeatedly, sincerely say thank you, and accept it with a slight smile
2. “Thanks! This really helps! You’re so handsome for giving me this much!”
3. “Thank you.” *with a straight face*
4. If there’s another appropriate reaction, please let me know.
I feel that if I try to come across as humble, I’m more likely to be looked down on and treated as a low-paying woman.
I’m also wondering if I shouldn’t say things like, “Thank you so much for giving me this much.” What do you think?
I’m seriously worried about being treated as someone cheap. Thank you in advance.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
I think the fact that you’re asking, “What’s the proper way to express my gratitude?” means you’ve already got it wrong.
I’ve handed over allowance dozens—probably more than a hundred—times, but I honestly don’t remember at all what was said in response.
As for salaries, my company is small, so we pay in cash by hand. Since the person handing it over is doing so with gratitude, I say:
“Thank you as always.”
when I give it to them.
In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), the women receiving allowance are also being very helpful to the men. The men want to be helpful to the women in return by giving them allowance—that mutual relationship is what matters. The question is whether the man feels satisfied and happy when he hands it over.
Men give it as a token of gratitude for that day, so if you’re approaching it as a calculation rather than out of genuine appreciation, they’ll see right through you.
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There’s probably no single right answer, but I’ve also wondered what kind of expression or attitude I should have when receiving it.
I think it comes down to showing gratitude toward the other person. That gratitude comes through not only in your words, but also in your facial expressions and the way you treat them.
I tell them honestly how I feel in that moment. I don’t think papas are only paying attention to that particular moment—they’re also looking at your character as a person.
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In my experience, I’ve often gotten better results by humbly expressing exactly how I feel.
With a huge, almost-tearful smile:
“Thank you so much…!! This is far more than I expected… I’m sorry. I’ll really, really make good use of it…!!”
I say it out loud, repeat it the next time we meet, and even bring it up casually sometimes:
“Thank you so much for always being so generous… It really helps. Thanks to you, ○○, I was able to do ××,” followed by a detailed story about something good that happened or what I used it for.
Even doing this won’t stop some papas from looking down on you, but most will generally come away with a good impression.
Actually, there are so many girls who can’t even manage these basic courtesies that I sometimes harshly think that’s probably why the girls my generous, handsome older papa approached ended up dropping out one by one. (Whispering.)
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More than anything you could say, what makes me happiest is seeing you genuinely enjoy yourself during our dates:
Looking like you’re enjoying the food,
being excited while shopping,
and having fun during our conversations.
Those kinds of reactions mean the most to me.
As for allowance, what made me happiest was when she told me specifically how she used it.
“I used it to take a course in … because I have a dream I want to achieve.”
Or, “I bought this …,” and then actually wearing it on our next date so I could see it.
Since the allowance is given with the feeling of “thank you” behind it, the best response is seeing that it actually helped her in some way.
—It’s me
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Whenever I give her the allowance, I say, “Thanks as always,” and hand it over.
I’m serious. I also pay the part-time employees at my company in cash—we’re a small business—and when they say, “Thank you,” I bow my head and reply, “No, thank you for everything you do.” I’m a pretty good boss, huh? lol
When someone in a stronger position gives money to someone in a weaker position, it’s their responsibility to be as considerate as possible and avoid hurting the other person’s pride. To me, that’s the most basic principle of human relationships.
So, as for the answer, I’m fine with any of options 1, 2, or 3. But I personally express my thanks clearly and out loud, with genuine gratitude, so that my feelings come across.
That said, I think the question is already misguided if you’re asking, “What’s the right way to express my thanks?” If you truly feel grateful, the words of thanks should come naturally without having to think about them. You should spend more time facing your own feelings of gratitude.
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This is Tsubaki, answering for the first time in a while.
I’d recommend something close to option 1:
“Thank you as always 😊”
I don’t think there’s any need to bow and scrape excessively.
If it’s the amount you agreed on beforehand, saying “That’s so much” can feel a little insincere, so I think it’s better to save that phrase for when you receive more than usual. That way, your gratitude comes across more genuinely.
…I’m giving advice like I know what I’m talking about, but sometimes I’m handed the allowance so quickly—right when we meet or just before we part—that I also find myself wondering (or worrying) whether I’m properly conveying my feelings (sweat).
I’m always incredibly grateful to the papa (male supporters) who spend time with me ♡♡
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> I feel that if you try too hard to come across as humble, people tend to look down on you and treat you like a cheap woman.
I don’t see it that way.
You can tell pretty quickly whether someone is “high-end” or “low-end” after talking with them a little. That’s not something you need to worry about too much.
For me, the most important thing is whether she’s genuinely humble—not whether she constantly lowers herself or acts obsequiously.
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