A question about allowances

Explain everything properly. As long as you both agree, that amount is fine. Of course, women are happier when they receive more. But when a woman says she “didn’t get paid,” I believe it’s because the papa didn’t explain things well enough and handed over the allowance without making sure she was truly comfortable with the arrangement. That also lowers his reputation as a papa. If he wants to continue seeing a good woman, he should explain the terms clearly, make sure she agrees, and only then give her the allowance.

> I’ve seen several female members say, “I didn’t receive my allowance,” so— That’s referring to cases where they went to a hotel, but the man started saying something ridiculous, like he thought no money was necessary because it was “free love.” In other words, they mean they didn’t receive the allowance itself, not merely transportation expenses. We warn men like that. (It’s frustrating that we can’t immediately ban them, though.) The reason is that they clearly don’t understand the purpose of a dating club, and of course, if they do the same thing again, they will be permanently banned. So, men who want to become romantically involved with a woman without providing an allowance are acting contrary to the purpose of a dating club. That said, if the couple gets married after meeting through the club, an allowance may no longer be necessary. In that case, though, it would probably be quite normal for the man to let her buy whatever she likes each month on his card or cover her living expenses every month. Also, if the woman herself says she doesn’t need an allowance, we won’t receive a report saying, “I didn’t receive my allowance.” There’s nothing we can do about things that aren’t reported. The rules exist in the first place so that both parties can be happy, so I don’t think the club will interfere when nobody is having a problem. The problem is when a man interprets things however he wants and deceives a woman—that’s essentially what it means when we receive a report like this. We want people like that to leave the club. > For the first meeting, you pay ¥5,000–¥10,000 for transportation. > If you have a two-hour dinner date, do you also need to pay an allowance for the meal? For the first meeting, as long as it lasts up to around two hours, there is no separate dinner allowance as long as you pay the woman a courtesy payment referred to as transportation expenses. If the woman asks for additional money, she doesn’t understand the club’s rules, so please report it to the club. From the second meeting onward, however, it is generally customary to provide an allowance even for dinner only. Be sure to discuss it properly. Also, if you have dinner and then go to a hotel from the second meeting onward, it is generally understood that the allowance covers both the meal and the hotel. On dating sites, though, the allowance for going to a hotel is often low to begin with, so it seems some women charge an additional amount if dinner is included. I think this happens because the allowance itself is too low. If you clearly agree on a proper allowance, I don’t think she would ask for an additional amount just because you’re having dinner. If she does, you may want to assume that the allowance was too low. For example, I’ve never heard of a woman saying, “The allowance for going to a hotel is ¥200,000 per meeting, but if we have dinner, I’d like an additional ¥20,000.”

Isn’t it a little disappointing to simply do whatever the people answering here tell you? The allowance and transportation costs reflect how you feel about the woman. If you’re thinking, “Thank you” or “I want to support you,” express those feelings in the form of an allowance. I don’t think the amount itself is all that important. It’s me.

The initial transportation allowance covers the first two hours of dining together. If he says he needs an additional dinner allowance on top of the transportation fee set by the club, you should report him to the club. That’s essentially double-dipping. After that, it’s a private arrangement, so the club generally shouldn’t get involved. In my case, if we part ways after dinner, I set it at just the initial transportation allowance. If we have an adult relationship (intimate) from the first day, I set the total at 50,000 yen. Even so, many women ask to see me again, so I don’t think it’s a major issue.

The key is to focus on making the woman happy and satisfied, both with the date itself and with her allowance. In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you should naturally want to make her feel fulfilled and enjoy the experience—both the date and the allowance. It’s not just about the amount; being stingy or holding back isn’t a good look. That’s the complete opposite mindset from paying to be entertained at a hostess club or adult entertainment venue.

I understand the initial transportation fee of ¥5,000–¥10,000 to cover the roughly two-hour meal arranged by the club. During that time, you get to know each other, discuss your views on relationships, and confirm your allowance expectations. After that, you might go somewhere else or arrange another date. In other words: > If we have a two-hour dinner date, do I need to pay an allowance for the dinner? No, you don’t need to pay an allowance for the initial dinner. By the way, Mr. Kida, the head of Universe Club, once said: > “Whether they’re men, women, or even an ideal supporter, I don’t like anyone negotiating outside the rules over the transportation fee.” https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/5585 I don’t like people like that either. > And if we have an adult relationship (intimate) afterward, would I pay an allowance separately for that? Not only for an adult relationship (intimate)—anything beyond the roughly two-hour meal arranged by the club should be discussed and decided between the two of you. Since you met through a dating club, I think an allowance is generally expected, but it’s not something the club or any third party should dictate.