I’ve been getting along well with a very wealthy man.
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We meet about two or three times a month without an adult relationship, and he gives me around ¥300,000. He also occasionally buys me designer gifts. He messages me every day, but I’m sure he has lots of other girls too… Lately, I’ve been unsure how I should position myself with him.
We just spend three or four hours having dinner, shopping, or going for a drive. Since our dates are so long, I’m worried we’ll eventually run out of things to talk about.
I’m not particularly sexy—I’m more often described as elegant or refined. I honestly don’t understand what he likes about me if he doesn’t want an adult relationship.
Also, when other men make offers and invite me again, most of them don’t ask for an adult relationship either… Why do they invite me out to dinner? Should I be the one to suggest an adult relationship? I’m a Type B.
Men, please tell me what you think.
“I honestly don’t understand what he likes about this if there’s no adult relationship (intimate).”
If you can let go of that way of thinking, I think the answer will become clear and you’ll feel less conflicted.
There are probably far more men than you’d imagine who don’t see an adult relationship (intimate) as the only thing of value.
Because it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), not a sex service.
— It’s me
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I’m not entirely sure what the situation is, but perhaps the staff comment says something like:
“She selected B, but she’s mostly A. She doesn’t seem interested in an adult relationship.”
If that’s the case, you’ll probably only receive offers from gentlemanly men. Their attitude is generally, “If she becomes interested, we can take things further then; otherwise, we can simply part ways.”
So I think it would be fine for you to ask—or even suggest—something like, “Why haven’t you invited me to an adult relationship?”
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If a woman’s club profile says she’s a B type who leans toward A, I think even men will assume that an adult relationship won’t be easy.
That said, among men who make offers to B-type women, probably very few are thinking from the start that it will be dinner only.
I have heard of B-type women being asked by men whose invitations to an adult relationship they turned down whether they would still be willing to meet for dinner only.
However, once you’ve met several times without an adult relationship, it can become difficult for both of you to know when—or how—to take things further.
A B-type woman I met before also told me that she was open to taking things further after meeting for dinner a few times, but the man never made a move.
If you’re at the point where you go on drives together, why not try finding out what kind of relationships that man has had in the past?
You may also be able to ask how he feels about adult relationships.
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With terms this favorable, there’s no need to make a change yourself.
Unlike me, some men are enamored with the idea of keeping things platonic. If the woman suggests an adult relationship (intimate), wouldn’t he be disillusioned and end things instead?
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I’m not a man, but there are certainly papas who are looking for dinner only (no intimacy). Is that really so strange?
Since this is a relationship based on an allowance, I try to accommodate the kind of arrangement the papa wants as much as possible. In my experience, that makes it more likely that things will continue for a long time.
Including in the past, I’ve had three dinner-only papas. Some wanted to go on dates with a girl, but couldn’t pursue anything that would mean betraying their wives.
So I think the important thing is being able to sense what the other person wants. If it doesn’t align with what you want, it won’t last—but if you’re both satisfied, I think that’s perfectly fine.
In short, you don’t need to suggest an adult relationship (intimate) to this person. If you do, it might bring things to an end.
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