I can understand a married man dating women in exchange for money. I’m also working on improving both my appearance and my inner self so I can be more attractive through personal growth. I do this because I don’t want to rely on money alone. I’m looking for the excitement of dating and an emotional connection. I’m not particularly seeking intimacy. I also understand that women may be at an economic disadvantage.
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I’d like to hear what female members really think. I dislike women who flatter men for money, smile when they don’t genuinely feel like smiling, or force themselves to act in ways that please men. I believe there are women who can genuinely see a man as a man on a human level, and feel something for each other that goes beyond the financial compensation. But what percentage of women do you think are like that? Please don’t just answer, “It depends on you.”
There is someone I’d want to see even without an allowance.
But that’s only because he never gives off even the slightest hint of, “I’m attractive, right?” or “You like me, don’t you?”
If you’re desperately clinging to your youth and looks, it’s unfair to then deny that the allowance is part of the deal.
Akari
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I can understand what the questioner is trying to say, but honestly, it’s not that different from a woman’s fixation on money, lol. I do think it’s good to want to date as an attractive man, and to make an effort to become that kind of man. But aren’t you giving off the impression that, if you have those qualities, money shouldn’t be necessary? If so, does that really make you a good man? lol
For example, women ask for money in all kinds of ways, lol. Sometimes they’re direct and name an amount, or say, “I’m having a tough month,” or “There’s something I want,” or “Which one do you think suits me better?” lol. They’re all just different ways of saying they want money, but in my case, the more obvious they are, the easier it is to negotiate. If it turns into a game of seeing how much they can get out of me, then it becomes a game of seeing how much I can dodge. But that stops being fun for both sides, so whatever, lol.
There are also women who never talk or act that way at all. When that happens, I feel like I have to put the game away—or rather, like I’m being tested as a man, lol. If I take advantage of that, then I’m just that kind of man, so I have to be careful. In the end, I often end up shouldering more financially anyway, like increasing the allowance as a surprise, lol.
Some people might say I’m being played for a fool, but I think men can also understand the way you rise above that and respond accordingly, lol.
There are all kinds of women, but the number of people you actually get the chance to date is limited, so I don’t think the proportions matter much.
I really hope the questioner raises his appeal as a man enough to shatter all expectations and create a legend! After all, even Germany can be beaten, lol.
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Try looking for someone the ordinary way—out in town, for example. You might also meet someone at places where people with the same interests gather.
To me, it just sounds like you’re desperately searching for something you don’t want to pay for.
Please look elsewhere. I don’t think you’re suited to a dating club.
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Women are looking for an allowance, and that’s obviously part of the arrangement, right?
I don’t like that kind of sycophantic laughter either, and since it’s only a ¥50,000 pay-per-meeting arrangement, there’s no need for anyone to put on an ingratiating smile.
That said, I’ve never had a woman from the club act that way toward me, so I’d say it’s close to 100% of the time.
This may not be the answer you were looking for, but ultimately, I think that percentage varies depending on the man.
I’m not exactly a handsome older gentleman, and although my BMI is around 21, I do have a bit of a belly. Nothing serious enough to meet the metabolic syndrome criteria, though…
Even so, my basic approach to dating is to make an effort to entertain the woman.
I also try to create an atmosphere where she feels comfortable speaking honestly.
If a man thinks, “I’m paying her an allowance, so she should be the one entertaining me,” the woman won’t be able to enjoy herself either.
Good luck with your papa-katsu activities!
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If you believe you’ll meet someone, you will. Things turn out the way you imagine them in your heart.
If you imagine the opposite, that’s all it will ever become.
> I’ve never been turned down by someone I approached because I wanted to have SEX with them.
That’s certainly true. Still, before making a move, it may also be important to sense whether it’s not going to work—or whether you have a chance—and judge whether your chemistry and compatibility are a good fit.
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I’m looking for a relationship that includes an allowance, so that’s a given. Beyond that, I’d be happy to meet someone wonderful.
I’m attracted not only to a man’s charm, but also to who he is as a person. I’m drawn to the way he spends his time and treats others when he isn’t with me—whether he works hard or is kind to his parents and siblings, for example.
I also respect a papa’s social standing and financial success, because they’re things he has built for himself. I believe everyone I’ve met has worked hard to become the person they are today, and I find those stories fascinating. They have a value that money can’t buy.
Being around someone I respect inspires me to work harder and live my own life more positively. Ideally, I’d like to make sure the time we spend together is fulfilling enough that he feels the allowance is well worth it.
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I’m Potassium, a female member.
I only do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with men I genuinely like as people in the first place, so I don’t spend time with anyone I dislike or have a superficial relationship with.
The reasons I accept an allowance are:
- To keep myself in check if I start developing real feelings
(Men don’t want to be pressured to get divorced or have their private lives controlled either, right? Nobody likes a clingy woman, right?)
- Because it’s proof that my feelings are being acknowledged.
I don’t know how other female members feel about it.
That’s just my personal opinion.
P.S.
The opinions from the female respondents here only tell you whether people like that exist or not. If you want to know more, I think you should look back through the past questions in the question box. That way, you may be able to get a less biased perspective.
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I’m the same—I used to be drawn to papas who gave me a lot of money at first.
Maybe I was simply lucky, but those papas also tended to be handsome, fit, and genuinely respectable as people. Because of that, our arrangements lasted a long time, and that’s where I am now.
Putting the money aside, if you want to highlight your masculine appeal and create a sense of excitement, I think your best bet is to work on your appearance through strength training, cosmetic dermatology, and regular trips to the salon. What do you think?
Women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) care about a man’s appearance more than men realize. Good luck.
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Um... I think you’re looking in the wrong place.
Rather than relying on money, why not make an effort to find a girlfriend or partner on your own?
Good luck.
It may be inefficient and difficult, but... I’m going to enjoy myself here.
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Even though I’ve been a member for five years, I can hardly say my manners are refined or that I’ve made particularly good use of the club, so I’m not really in a position to act superior. Still, reading your post made me want to say, “You’re still pretty green.”
For example, don’t you think no one could probably give you a meaningful answer about the percentages? And when you say things like “I’m not really looking for anything physical” or “I’m looking for an emotional connection,” it makes me want to say, “Keep talking nonsense like that and I’ll dump you in the Kamo River!”—though I’m conveniently ignoring my own shortcomings here.
My recommendation is to go to Eiheiji with the woman you’re interested in and try their one-day Zen training experience. Eat vegetarian Buddhist cuisine, meditate four times over two days, attend the morning service, and listen to a talk by one of the trainee monks. You might realize that you’re nothing but a bundle of worldly desires. Plus, intimacy after the training is incredibly passionate, lol. After that, you can go ahead and proclaim that you’re “not looking for anything physical.”
Oh, and try to refrain from being intimate in the monks’ quarters. You’ll bring divine punishment upon yourself, and at worst, you might get thrown out. They wake you up before 4 a.m., so make sure you go to bed early!
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I completely understand how the questioner feels.
Assuming that the “emotional connection” they’re talking about is on a romantic level, I’ll share what little experience I have.
When a married man like us forms an emotional connection with a woman in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), the excitement lasts only a moment. From that point on, the end—the breakup—has already begun. Little by little, a gap in feelings develops.
That’s how it tends to go.
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Even outside the context of compensated dating, people generally try to make a good impression on someone they’re meeting face-to-face.
I think you’re asking for something rather nonsensical.
If you made offers to around 1,000 women, you might come across one who values your “package” more highly than the allowance you’re offering. Good luck.
Though, given that you’re even nitpicking the answers you receive, she may be more like one in 10,000.
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Whether or not an allowance is involved has nothing to do with whether the man is married or single, or popular or unpopular.
That’s because it’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
It’s me.
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Wanting an emotional connection means you’re not getting one in real life, right? I don’t think someone in that situation will find an emotional connection through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), either.
P.S.
This may sound strange, but obsessing over the exchange of money comes from a lack of confidence. I’m confident that the other person likes me “even if I’m paying,” so it doesn’t really bother me, lol.
I think that confidence comes from successful experiences I had before I started papa-katsu. The number isn’t particularly large, but I’ve never been rejected by anyone I approached because I wanted to sleep with them.
Did the person asking the question get rejected by someone they used to love, or suffer some other confidence-shattering trauma?
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