If I’m receiving an allowance, am I not supposed to tell him when something he did upset or hurt me, or what I’d like him to change?
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Is it wrong to want to talk about these things and improve our relationship?
Leaving without saying anything feels like it would waste the connection we’ve built, but since he’s been there for me and I owe him, am I supposed to just put up with it?
Do you all tell your supporters when something bothers you or when they’ve hurt you?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Member of another dating club
Being able to say anything from the very beginning is what compatibility is all about.
If you couldn’t say it naturally in the moment, then it’s probably best to part ways if there’s even a small thing bothering you. This isn’t a job, so you don’t need to put up with anything.
The fact that you couldn’t say it already means you’re pretty incompatible.
If you suddenly brought it up formally, they might just think, “Are we really that incompatible?” or “Was I misunderstanding things?” and be quite surprised.
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I think it’s better to get a good sense of the man first.
If he’s the kind of man who genuinely cares about you, then I think you should tell him. But in general, many men feel that since they’re paying, they’re entitled to whatever they want. With someone like that, rather than saying it directly, if he gets even a little too rough and you don’t like it, you might want to communicate it in another way—by saying, “That hurts…” or even crying.
If he still doesn’t get the message, I think it would be more sensible to end things.
Even if you tell someone what you want them to change, some men will get annoyed. With that kind of person, things can quickly turn awkward or hostile, and you could end up being emotionally hurt.
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Since this is dating rather than a sexual service, I think it’s better to make your feelings clear on the spot when someone does something you dislike or says something hurtful—tell them it’s not okay or that they’ve gone too far.
Personally, I make sure to check the other person’s feelings before doing anything, and I expect them to tell me when something makes them uncomfortable.
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Personally, I’ve rarely been told that something was unpleasant or hurtful. The only time is when I first ask whether going without a condom is okay and they say no. Other than that, I’m surprisingly considerate in various ways.
Putting aside things that are easy to fix, it’s probably best not to say too much to an older partner. Habits, personality, the way someone speaks, and the way they think aren’t easy to change—and they have their pride, too.
When you feel like you click with someone, it means these things are within your acceptable range, so take a good look early on and make sure. That said, if you really can’t put up with something, why not try bringing it up? It’s better than silently ending things, even if it doesn’t work out.
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It depends on the person and how you say it.
Still, I feel like things rarely work out smoothly when you bring up complaints.
Marika
With my current favorite papa, things have been going well because I asked him not to show me photos of his wife and to FaceTime me when we can’t meet for a long time.
But if you say things like “Don’t kiss me,” “Don’t lick me,” or “You text me too much—it’s annoying,” I don’t think it will go over very well.
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