What do you think is the difference between girls whose lives are ruined by papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) and those whose lives improve, like the women answering here?

I’ve said this many times, but papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) hasn’t changed my life. Thanks to the club, I meet men in professions I wouldn’t normally encounter. But even without using the club, I’d probably still be seeing someone, and whether there was an allowance or not wouldn’t have much impact on my life. Marika

I think it becomes painful when you suppress your feelings and force yourself to keep going. In my case, I didn’t receive a huge number of offers, so I valued each individual connection. Even so, only a small number of them have continued, and there have been difficult times too. In my answers here, I don’t write about the struggles I’ve faced in the past or the hardships I’m going through now. So in that sense, people might think papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has completely turned my life around. In reality, my papa (a male supporter) has helped me, and I’m truly grateful. I’d be happy if we could continue to maintain a meaningful relationship. Meeting him was an opportunity I was given, but I believe whether I make the most of it or let it slip away is up to me.

I’m Potassium, a female member. I believe luck is a mix of both good and bad fortune, and whether you can turn bad luck into good luck depends on you. As いつ・みーさん said, aside from becoming friendly with the staff, I think everyone is more or less on equal footing when it comes to whether they’ll meet a good papa. Female members don’t have the power to decide who sends them an offer, so there’s only so much they can do. That’s probably why people call it luck. But in a sense, unless the staff intervene, everyone has about the same chance of meeting a good papa. (Looks and body type do matter, of course, but since men have different preferences, once you reach a certain level, they don’t make that much difference. Exceptionally beautiful women are another story.) In the first place, there’s no way for us to know. As りんさん said, if you increase the number of people you meet, you’ll naturally meet some good ones simply by playing the odds—and some mediocre ones too. It’s the same as thinking the grass is greener on the other side. The person asking the question doesn’t know everything about the lives the people answering have lived. What’s written here reflects only their current way of thinking. No reader or other respondent can possibly know how difficult the journey was that brought them there. That may be why the female respondents feel they were lucky to meet good papas. But in reality, I doubt everyone has had an easy life. So whether you’re lucky or unlucky isn’t really the point. I think the difference lies in whether you choose to see yourself as lucky. Of course, if you decide you’re unlucky, you don’t have to think any further, and it feels easier because you can consider the matter settled. But I see that as running away from having to think. How can you change your current undesirable situation into one you’d be happy with? You could help your papa grow, or you could look for a new papa. Either way, it’s a decision—not luck. There are many wonderful people answering questions here, but isn’t that because they kept moving forward in their work and relationships instead of simply chalking everything up to luck? If you blame luck or other people, there’s nothing you can change. In the end, you may remain exactly where you are now. That’s just my personal opinion.

The difference is probably whether you take charge of your own life or adopt a blame-shifting mindset like, “papa-katsu ruined my life.” As Mac wrote, I believe that “Heaven helps those who help themselves.”

I don’t think there’s that much of a difference, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. Can papa-katsu really ruin your life?

I have low self-esteem, and my life has been pretty rough. I’ve been bullied everywhere I go, and even though I’m sensitive and easily hurt, I’ve always had serious dreams for my career. That made people see me as cheeky or too big for my boots, so I’d get bullied again. It’s been a pretty difficult life, but apparently that air of unhappiness worked in my favor in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). Maybe because I seemed so unhappy, they thought, “I have to do something to help this girl.” I’m not exceptionally beautiful, and I never thought I could get money from men through clever little techniques, so I faced them sincerely. Perhaps they saw me as “different from the papa-katsu girls who take the world for granted.” I was actually told that quite often. Still, you never know what will ultimately turn out to be a blessing until your life is over. That’s why I feel all I can do is give my all to living in the present.

> Is finding a good papa (a male supporter) just a matter of luck? I suppose it depends on what you consider a “good papa.” In papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) through a dating club, the arrangements may be relatively high-level, but in the end, whether you’re a man or a woman, I think a good papa—or a favorite dating partner—is someone who’s easy to be with while both of you treat each other well. Are you treating your papa well? Whenever I see questions like this, I’m reminded of something a user named Makeo-san once said—I think it was, “What a waste.” It’s not enough to show up for a date looking attractive and well-dressed, then simply collect your allowance. You need to prepare thoroughly so you can have an enjoyable date with your papa and really impress him. Otherwise, the arrangement won’t continue, and I think some people end up feeling depressed or believing their lives have been ruined without even understanding why. You’re taking on a high-level arrangement, so I suppose that goes without saying, but when entering into one, please give this as much consideration as you do the allowance. If you do, I think the papas you meet will gradually become good papas. Good luck.

I think many women who try to live solely off papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) end up struggling mentally. It’s much like working in the sex industry. To succeed with this kind of arrangement, you probably need the emotional leeway that comes from having another job and treating papa-katsu as nothing more than an additional source of income.

I think it’s also important to maintain a good relationship with the staff at Universe. The staff share quite a lot of information about which male members are good papas and which are questionable. If you’ve been running into a lot of bad papas, why not be honest with them about your concerns? If you’re someone who’s always making an effort to be a good papa-katsu girl, things might improve a little. The staff are only human, and the club needs to keep both male and female members satisfied to stay in business. So they’ll introduce good female members to good papas. Female members can’t make offers to male members themselves, but when a new male member joins or someone asks, “Do you have any good women?” the staff may recommend someone by saying, “I highly recommend her!” That can make quite a big difference. The staff recommended quite a few women to me as well. And they don’t only recommend women with outstanding looks or profiles. They’ll highlight their strengths, saying things like: “She may not stand out looks-wise, but she’s absolutely beautiful on the inside.” “She’s a wonderful woman, but she doesn’t get many offers.” Relying on the staff won’t guarantee success, but I do think it can at least help attract some good luck. I hope you meet a good papa! — It’s Me

Rather than simply because they’ve met a good papa (a male supporter), I think it may be because many of the women answering are financially independent even without one. I’m not sure what kind of papa (a male supporter) would be a good fit for you, but the more people you meet, the better your chances will be. Of course, you’ll also be more likely to run into some unusual ones… Personally, I think it largely depends on your mindset.