Women you meet through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) often don’t seem to invite you out or contact you first, even after you’ve gotten closer, don’t they?
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Could you explain the psychology behind this?
If women reached out and invited me out more often, I feel it would be easier to understand their hobbies and preferences and become closer. Are there any tips for making that happen?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
I’m not sure what you mean by saying that being invited by a woman makes it easier to gain a deeper understanding of her hobbies and preferences.
Also, while women may want someone to listen when they talk about their hobbies and preferences, I don’t think they necessarily expect that person to show understanding.
I answered a similar question before, but there may be other reasons she isn’t inviting you herself—for example, she may not know what pace you prefer for the relationship.
Why not invite her yourself a few times at first and see how things go?
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The fact that I’m doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) through a club in my 30s means I’m already past my prime—I'm in my early 30s, lol.
Mr. President and everyone on the staff, why not introduce an age limit in response to the members’ feedback, like some prestigious golf clubs do? Young guys aren’t exactly gentlemen, after all, lol.
There are other ways to meet people besides through the club, so I’ve considered moving on. But it doesn’t seem like all the men there are older and gentlemanly, so I figure there may still be a need for people like me.
Even I hear some pretty awful rumors about certain answerers—I won’t say who—and sometimes it gets exhausting. So I suppose it’s only natural that women in their 30s still get opportunities.
As for your question, it’s hard to say because the frequency and style of LINE messages varies depending on the person. But in my experience, when the allowance is generous (well-paying), they often make sure to contact me properly.
Of course, I try to be a gentleman for reasons beyond the allowance, though occasionally my youth shows through—that’s part of my charm.
Even women in their 30s should take care with their appearance. And it’s true that when the difference in apparent age is smaller, women are less likely to worry about how it looks to those around them, so I consider that a plus. I think apparent age matters more than actual age.
In any case, if you like someone, I think you should contact them yourself. Being too pushy is one thing, but if you’re overly passive, you’ll become too timid. Basically, the more proactive type tends to be more popular. The contrast is important too.
This will be my final answer.
I’m honestly tired of all this, so I’m quitting as an answerer. I haven’t made any offers through the club lately either, so I’ll probably just fade out.
It was a short time, but I learned a lot. Thank you very much.
Everyone, enjoy your papa-katsu life!!
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> Could you explain the psychology behind that?
I think it’s something like:
“I don’t want him to think I’m only interested in money,”
or
“If he really likes me, he should be the one contacting me. Wouldn’t he dislike me if I reached out first?”
I’m not a psychologist, so I can’t say whether that’s correct. However, I have heard women say things like that, so I imagine it does apply to some of them.
> If there are any tips for handling this, please let me know.
You could say something like:
“If you ever run short of money, feel free to call me anytime. I’m sorry if our schedules don’t line up, but I’ll help out whenever I can.”
At the very least, women who are worried about seeming too money-focused may feel that it’s okay for them to bring it up.
However, once you’ve said that, you’re done for if you then make even one comment suggesting that she’s only after your money. Obviously.
And furthermore, if you say something like that, you need to be prepared to respond even if she starts contacting you frequently—say, every other day.
> I feel like I’d also gain a deeper understanding of her hobbies and preferences, and that we might become closer.
That’s just your imagination.
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Simply put, maybe they don’t think it’s worth contacting you, or they feel it’s too intimidating to reach out.
Here’s a tip: instead of only telling women you like, try telling every woman, “Please contact me later!”
You’ll start to notice the kind of women who actually get in touch. Then, make offers to women who seem likely to contact you.
Do that, and I’m sure you’ll be very popular（笑).
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You’re already finished if you’re doing papa-katsu through a dating club in your 30s.
You should experience the rough-and-tumble of ordinary dating first and join a club only after you’ve learned how to treat women better.
Clubs are like hothouse cultivation—you don’t have to struggle at all. You shouldn’t run there to escape. And if you still can’t make it work there, that means you’re disqualified as a papa.
Men want to become captivated by women, and women naturally want to be charmed by men, too. In a club where both sides simply cater to each other, you won’t develop that skill.
> If you have any tips, please tell me.
Explore the world of “friend-katsu”—building genuine friendships.
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As I mentioned before, one of my papas gets a ton of messages even from girls he’s only made an offer to once.
He’s a rare type—an attractive older man, very generous with his allowance, and someone who’s been popular with women since he was young—so I suppose it’s only natural. But any man who’s well-groomed and offers a high allowance should get plenty of messages.
That’s because there simply aren’t many attractive older papas in the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) market who are both well-groomed and generous.
If you can meet those two criteria, you’ll almost certainly get repeat dates unless you make blatantly misogynistic comments or turn out to be a pervert.
Try improving your fashion and skincare by watching YouTube, and add ¥20,000 to your allowance. It may sound a little too straightforward, but I think your phone will start buzzing nonstop with messages from women.
I’ve met several attractive older papas who offered high allowances through papa-katsu, and I always gave it my all to win them over each time (blush).
So please do your best too!
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Try letting go of the idea that “we’ll get closer if the woman makes the first move.”
Instead, shift your thinking to: “Women may feel more at ease and open up when the man takes the initiative.” It might work out better that way♪ (´▽｀)
It’s me,
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This is one of those questions where the answer depends on who’s asking.
In this case, the reason is probably that she’s worried the other person will get the wrong idea, start getting carried away, and become a hassle.
The key is: if she’s a woman you like and want to see, don’t overthink it—just ask her out yourself.
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If you’ve really gotten close, most women will contact you on their own.
Maybe you’re chasing only the popular girls to impress them, while they’re treating you as a backup. Try offering a higher allowance, or lower your standards and look for someone who doesn’t already have a papa (a male supporter).
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It depends on the person.
I think you’re not getting any invitations or messages because you’re so uninteresting that you have to ask complete strangers about someone’s “psychology.” If you become someone she finds attractive, I’m sure she’ll start inviting you out and contacting you.
P.S. The fact that you’re too chicken to ask for answers from anyone other than the staff and female members also makes you seem like a pretty dull person. It’s not as if you’re going to hear the unvarnished truth from any staff member other than Mr. Maezawa.
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