In this difficult economy, I treat them to whatever delicious food they want whenever we meet, and I give them a normal allowance after an adult relationship (intimate), yet none of the girls actively invite me out. It’s really taken a hit to my confidence.
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By the way, my dating style is that I never contact them unless they contact me first.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
I prefer women who let me manage the schedule and respond to my messages, since my work schedule can be unpredictable.
It’s papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so let’s not expect too much and just keep things casual. Complaining, “Even though I’m doing this for you, even though I’m doing that for you—why?” feels a little too heavy.
Isn’t that how most women are?
We should simply be happy and feel fortunate that cute, young women much younger than us are willing to be our sex partners.
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I don’t think the economy is bad—probably about average.
Still, Mac, you’re amazing. Lately, I’ve been content with once a week and doing nothing but watching Netflix. I really need to get out more.
If you’re interested in a woman, men should make the first move too—or send out plenty of offers.
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Attractive women aren’t affected by the recession, so that way of thinking is flawed.
From your wording, things sound pretty tough.
If you’re not getting invited even though this is an allowance-based arrangement, being a papa (a male supporter) probably isn’t for you.
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That’s pretty much the exact opposite of my style.
Whether it’s a client, a friend, a senior or junior colleague, or a woman, I’m the one who reaches out to build the relationship I want. If I didn’t make the first move, I probably wouldn’t get invited anywhere. So in that sense, I’m in an even worse situation than you are. Maybe people actually dislike me. Maybe I don’t have a single real friend.
Does that make me sad? No, not at all. Not even a little.
I want to go after the goals I’ve set for myself, so I’m the one who kicks the ball. You’ll never become a top-class striker if you just wait for the other person to make a move. You have to attack and create your own chances.
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To stand out among the papas who treat you to good food, have an adult relationship (intimate), and normally give you an allowance, you should let go of the odd pride that tells you never to contact them first.
I’m busy, so I naturally drift away from people who don’t reach out.
Maybe you’re upset because you’re not the kind of man women pursue even when you don’t contact them first. But that kind of pride gets you nowhere, so I think you should simply give a normal allowance and contact her normally.
Alternatively, offering an unusually generous allowance may make it more likely that she’ll contact you.
But then another strange form of pride may rear its head: “Do I really have to spend this much money just to get her attention?”
At a dating club, whether men or women are popular isn’t really relevant. I think it’s better to be clear about what you want and consider what you need to do to make that possible.
Improve your appeal as a man, increase the allowance, or set aside your pride and treat the woman well—try anything that might work.
If you don’t like that, dating clubs probably aren’t for you.
Marika
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Have you clearly told her that you’re the type who won’t reach out unless the woman contacts you first?
She may also be holding back because she’s unsure whether it’s okay to invite you out.
She may be trying to gauge whether you’ll be willing to see her whenever she asks, and whether you can afford it.
She may have considered all of that and decided not to contact you.
By the way, the women I’m seeing are all people I normally wouldn’t have the chance to meet.
I’m the one providing the allowance, but honestly, I’m simply grateful that they’re willing to have an adult relationship with me.
Unlike you, I don’t think I’d continue seeing a woman I didn’t feel like contacting myself.
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You do need to stay in touch occasionally.
I think a lot of people deliberately don’t reach out because they don’t want to seem too focused on money.
I’m not that type.
Please send me a LINE message at least once a week.
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It’s not necessarily because of the recession.
If the recession is making things difficult for you, perhaps you shouldn’t push yourself.
You give her an allowance and take her out for nice meals… But the problem may be with your way of thinking—“What more could she possibly be dissatisfied with?”
Are you actually enjoying yourselves together? If you keep emphasizing everything you’re doing for her, she may simply be putting up with it and staying with you.
Also, when you say you give her a “normal” allowance, what does “normal” mean? Your idea of normal might actually be on the low side.
I’ve never met you, and you’re not my papa (a male supporter), so I don’t know what the reality is… But rather than emphasizing everything you do for her, I think it’s important to focus on enjoying your time together.
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It’s the same kind of arrangement, but I often get invited out by women.
I’ve set my limit at two or three times a week, but I get asked out more often than that, so I have to turn them down.
I guess I’m either missing something or doing something extra.
Good luck.
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You don’t need to lose confidence. I had quite a few offers turned down myself (lol). You should be grateful whenever someone accepts your offer.
I think you should trust yourself and be patient. Just treat the girls who do get in touch with you well and build a good relationship with them.
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