How should I handle the allowance when the date is longer than usual?
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Our usual date is dinner followed by a hotel stay, lasting around 4–5 hours.
I’m seeing a PJ on a pay-per-meeting basis, and the other day we got excited talking on LINE about going to karaoke. I’d definitely like to go too.
If we do dinner → karaoke → hotel, the date will be at least two hours longer than usual. Is it standard to increase the allowance in that case?
Of course, if it were an overnight date or we spent the entire day together from morning onward, I think the allowance should obviously be increased. But while I wonder if it might be awkward to be too particular about small details, I also can’t help feeling, “She’s spending that much extra time with me...”
I’d love to hear what everyone thinks.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂Not stated👑Universe male member
I think adding a little extra allowance with a “Thanks for today, I had a great time” is a nice touch too.
Separate from the usual allowance, slip one or two bills into her hand, folded into quarters so it isn’t bulky.
Too old-fashioned?
Marika
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This only applies to the girls who are truly important to me, but whether we spend a few hours together or have an adult relationship (intimate) or not, the allowance is basically the same.
The allowance is generous to begin with. If you divide the monthly allowance by the number of adult relationships (intimate) and call that the pay-per-meeting rate, it easily exceeds 100,000 yen.
Sometimes I’ll spontaneously take her shopping, and I’ll drive her home or send her home by taxi. In the end, only the girls who matter to me stay around, so the arrangements naturally end up being more or less the same.
If someone is important to you, I think you should do things however you want. Money is simple: once you spend it, either you quit papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or earn more. There’s no need to overthink it.
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If you look at papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) as an hourly job, then sure, it’s only natural to ask for more, and you probably can.
But neither of you is going to truly enjoy a relationship like that.
Whether it’s four hours or 12.3 hours, I think both sides will have a better time and connect more naturally if they’re comfortable with the same fixed amount.
I think it would be better to express those feelings in a different way.
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If you’re still worrying about what everyone else is doing, you’ve got some growing to do.
If you feel that you’d want to increase the allowance because you’ll be spending an additional two hours together, then go ahead. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, and it will raise her opinion of you as well.
If your attitude is, “If no one else is increasing it, then I won’t either,” I feel that you’ll eventually start treating women like objects.
If you have the conviction that you’ll never make a woman uncomfortable, and genuinely want to be considerate of her, I think she’ll sense that.
You were unsure enough to ask this question, so when in doubt, I think it’s better to increase it.
In the end, it’s about how you feel. Even if it’s only a small amount, I think she’ll appreciate the fact that you wanted to give her more. And even if she eventually meets another man who offers her a much higher allowance, a man who truly considers her feelings may still have a better chance of continuing the relationship, even if he can’t compete financially.
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I don’t consider it sex work, so I don’t calculate my allowance by the hour.
Whether it’s 30 minutes, four hours, or six hours, I pay the same amount.
That said, when I feel someone has been especially good to me, I try to show my appreciation in some way besides the allowance—by giving them a gift, for example.
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If you want to increase her allowance, why not just do it?
You think about it but don’t—could it be that you’re just stingy?
I don’t have the money, so I don’t even consider increasing it in the first place. That’s not being stingy. At least, I hope not.
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If you’d like to give her some money, you could say something like, “I had a great time at karaoke—thank you!” and give her an extra allowance of around ¥5,000.
If you want to stay on good terms with her long-term, I don’t think it’s a good idea to give her tens of thousands of yen just for karaoke.
Above all, focus on having a good time together and building a relationship where she feels comfortable being with you.
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Whether it’s just a hotel, dinner plus a hotel, or going somewhere together, I pay the same allowance regardless of how much time it takes.
Some girls think in terms of an hourly rate, but I often lose interest in them pretty quickly. If it’s especially late at night, I sometimes add a little extra for a taxi.
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