I’m the person who previously asked whether papas who genuinely fall in love tend to give lower allowances…
Lately, my genuinely lovestruck papas have been asking me more and more questions that are difficult to answer. I try to think carefully about how to respond without making them uncomfortable, but apparently I’m just not good at handling this kind of question. I’d really appreciate your advice.
① “Would you still see me if I ran out of money?”
This is the question I’m asked most often, and I know it reflects their true feelings, so…
There may not be one perfect answer, but I’m struggling to figure out how to respond more smoothly.
I usually smile gently and say, “Of course. Thank you as always.”
But honestly, I would also be in trouble if the allowance stopped altogether.
I keep agonizing over what I should say, never finding an answer, and then I get asked again… It’s a vicious cycle.
② I also get questions like this:
“Even though I’m making you feel this good, I wonder why I’m paying you. Don’t you think it’s strange?”
I’m not sure whether he’s joking or not, but I didn’t really find it funny… And this has happened about three times.
I take it as a joke and reply, “I guess I’m the one coming out ahead♡,” but…
A papa’s feelings are so difficult to understand.
There was a papa I parted ways with before because he felt that a relationship involving money was empty. It’s true that even though money was involved, that created a positive sense of tension, and I cared about him very much. I still regret that I wasn’t able to convey even that to him.
Questions from papas are difficult.
Please lend me your wisdom.
Thank you in advance.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂40s👑Universe female member
If it felt like it was only about the money, I’d probably end things. But being someone who can earn money is also one of my biggest identities, so I don’t have the mindset described in ①.
If anything, I tell both my wife and the girl I’m seeing, “If I run out of money, I guess we’ll have to break up.”
Like me, business owners tend to be fairly confident in themselves, so I think there are quite a few papas who think this way.
I don’t know whether this would work on the questioner’s papa, but when I say something like that, she replies, “That’ll never happen—you’ll never stop being able to make money, right? 😊”
That’s my answer to ①.
As for the next point, I’m not paying for an adult relationship (intimate), and as I mentioned in a comment on another answer, I don’t change the allowance depending on whether or not we have an adult relationship (intimate), so I don’t understand that way of thinking either.
It makes me think, “Are you okay in the head?”
I don’t even have an answer for ②.
Actually, that’s different from my genuine definition of being serious about someone.
When I genuinely like someone, I’ve always wanted to spare her from hardship and look good in her eyes, so from my perspective, there’s no such thing as being genuinely serious while offering a low allowance.
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Papa-katsu relationships can be difficult, can’t they?
The women I see are much younger than me, so I’ve never had to worry about developing serious romantic feelings. Still, even when things are going well, I think it’s important to always keep gratitude and a sense of closure in mind.
As for the various things people say, I think it’s fine to just respond casually.
> “I cared about her very deeply, but…”
I regret that I wasn’t even able to express that. And this isn’t limited to relationships through dating clubs—both men and women have probably experienced something similar.
You part ways saying, “See you next time,” and you may indeed meet again. But if you don’t treat each meeting with the mindset of the often-mentioned “once-in-a-lifetime encounter,” there may come a time when you can no longer see that person. I think we should keep that somewhere in the back of our minds as we go about these relationships.
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I’ve never said anything like that, because I assume no young, beautiful woman would want anything to do with me without money.
Just think of it as him saying it on the off chance that he might get lucky and no longer have to pay an allowance. If you don’t want to end things, I don’t think you need to take it seriously—just respond as described in the question.
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If you can’t put up with it, I think it’s fine to end things since it’s too much hassle.
With a big smile, you could simply reply:
① “That’s what papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is, after all.”
② “Do you really mean that?”
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Wow… What exactly is that papa dreaming about?
In modern Japan, the most common kind of romantic marriage is between people around the same age, and even when there’s an age gap, it’s usually no more than three years. In other words, relationships with a significant age difference are difficult to establish in the first place.
Isn’t the way to make up for that disadvantage through money—or rather, dependable financial resources and social status? If he deliberately strips away the financial stability needed to be a dependable papa, what’s the point? There’ll be nothing left of his appeal.
But I doubt he’d understand if you put it that way, so the standard response would be:
> “Would you still see me if I ran out of money?”
The questioner should ask back with an even more worried expression: “Why would you ask that? Am I making you feel insecure, ●●?” Then act a little dejected and say, “I’m sorry for making you feel insecure, ●●…”
Most of the time, they’ll resolve it themselves by saying, “I’m the one who should be sorry. It’s not like that!”
If he starts talking at length about how he’s worried that money is his only appeal, just listen and nod along. If he’s the type who feels better simply by putting his anxiety into words, that can help keep things stable too.
> “I’m making you feel this good, so why am I even paying you? lol
> Don’t you think it’s strange??”
Something casual should be fine, like: “I wonder why～ lol♡ The world is full of mysteries♡” or “Ehh～ how much should I pay you, ●●ーーー♡”
Or just laugh—keep laughing nonstop. Watch Emiri Aizawa’s customer-service videos on YouTube and imitate her.
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