I previously asked whether papas who develop genuine feelings tend to offer lower allowances…
I’m the one who posted that question.
Lately, the papas who develop genuine feelings have been asking me questions that are difficult to answer.
I try to think carefully about how to respond without making them uncomfortable, but it seems I’m just not good at dealing with questions like these.
I’d really appreciate your advice.
① “Would you still see me if I ran out of money?”
This is the question I get most often, and I know they’re asking sincerely, so…
There may not be a perfect answer, but I keep wondering whether there’s some smooth way to respond.
I usually smile gently and say, “Of course. Thank you for everything, as always.”
But honestly, I would also have a problem if the allowance disappeared.
I agonize over what I should say, never come up with an answer, and then get asked the same kind of question again… It’s a vicious cycle.
② I get questions like this, too:
“Even though I make you feel this good, I wonder why I’m the one paying you, haha.
Don’t you think it’s strange?”
I’m not sure whether he’s joking or what, but I didn’t really find it funny…
He’s said something like this about three times.
I take it as a joke and reply, “I guess I’m the one getting the better deal♡,” but…
Understanding a papa’s feelings is difficult.
In the past, I had a papa end things because he felt that a relationship involving money was empty.
Even though money was involved, that was also what created a healthy sense of tension, and I truly cared about him.
I still regret that I wasn’t able to convey even that.
Papas’ questions are difficult.
Please lend me your wisdom.
Thank you in advance.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂40s👑Universe female member
① could be:
“Of course—but it’s not like you’d stop seeing me just because I said that.”
(If the allowance really stopped, I wouldn’t mind not seeing him anymore.)
② could be:
“I guess I’m the one benefiting here♡”
There are probably other variations too, like:
“You’re happy when I feel good too, right?”
Marika
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①: “As if I’d meet him, you idiot.”
②: I’d break up with a papa (a male supporter) who said something like that.
With ①, you need to be able to joke around while also being honest about your true feelings right away…
And your relationship with him isn’t genuine love at all.
It sounds like a conversation between a sex worker and her delusional client… even the way you respond to each other.
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I don’t remember whether I answered your previous question, but I’m Potassium, a female member.
I also think my definition of a papa who’s genuinely in love is probably different from what you mean by your papa.
If he were really in love with you, he’d want to give you plenty of allowance and say, “Thank you for accepting it.” It’s kind of like supporting your favorite celebrity. I’m not sure whether my papa truly means it, but that’s what he tells me.
When he says things like that to you, I don’t think it’s because he’s genuinely in love with you. I think he wants the confidence of knowing that you like him and that he’s attractive even without the financial aspect of your relationship.
In other words, I think he wants to fall in love with the version of himself who’s popular even without money.
If I wanted to communicate this clearly while avoiding ending the relationship, I think I’d respond something like this.
*I can’t guarantee it’ll work.*
①
“I’m not sure about that. I’m sorry. The reason I’m able to meet you like this is because you give me an allowance and support me. That allows me to reduce my working hours and still make a living, so I can make time to see you.
If I ran out of money because of our relationship, I’d have to work to support myself, and even if I really wanted to see you, I probably wouldn’t be able to.”
②
“I’m always incredibly grateful. The way you treat me makes me feel loved, and that makes me really happy.
But don’t you enjoy spending time with me too? It feels like I’m the only one receiving anything from this... I’m sorry.
I was a little hurt to realize that you’re so focused on the fact that you’re ‘paying me.’ I thought you gave me an allowance because you wanted to support me and were thinking of my well-being... I’m sorry. Does this mean I need to be more aware that our relationship is ultimately about money? Somehow, that really hurts.”
That’s the kind of response I would give.
When he says he wants to maintain the relationship even without giving you an allowance, it means that, at least on the surface, he’s more focused on the money than you are.
So in that case, I think you should clearly turn that around and communicate it to him.
Sorry this was so long. That’s just my personal opinion.
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First of all, I think your idea of what a genuinely lovestruck papa is differs from mine.
Of course, everyone sees it differently, but if you truly like someone, I don’t think you’d say things that would put them in a difficult position. If someone knowingly says something that would obviously make the other person uncomfortable, I don’t see that as genuine love at all. I’d call it a fake lovestruck act aimed at possibly getting into a relationship without an allowance.
Incidentally, my papa is more than just genuinely lovestruck—he’s serious about me.
- An exclusive monthly arrangement, with enough support that I wouldn’t be inconvenienced even if I had no other papas
- We’ve both agreed to leave the club and stay together forever
- He gives me lots of presents
- We talk every day
He never does anything that would put me in a difficult position.
So, if I were asked something like what you were asked, my answers would be:
1. “I do want to see you, but I’m sorry—I’m looking for a relationship with an allowance.”
2. “We’re seeing each other within the context of compensated dating, so I don’t find it strange.”
I think you should reconsider what you mean by a genuinely lovestruck papa.
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