I’ve been seeing this papa every month, and he usually contacts me after our dates to arrange the next one. But during my birthday month in the first year, he suddenly stopped responding, then contacted me the following month saying he’d been busy… and we resumed our dates.
And this year, he once again stopped responding when my birthday month came around, then contacted me the following month, saying he’d been busy…
When we first met, he asked me when my birthday was, so I told him, but I never made a point of drawing attention to it.
During the first year, he was the only papa I had, so I didn’t think much of it. But this year, after joining this site and starting to go on dates with other papas, I was asked about my birthday in the same way—and some of them even celebrated it for me…
That made me wonder if he stops responding only during my birthday month because he doesn’t want to celebrate it. But once I started thinking that way, he suddenly seemed really pathetic, and I lost some of the respect I’d had for him.
As for my birthday, I’m happy when someone celebrates it, but I don’t mind at all if they don’t do anything.
What really bothers me is how pathetic it feels that he disappears just to avoid it, and now I feel distrustful even when we go on dates afterward.
So when I turn down a date, he sends me messages every morning saying how sad he is that we can’t meet. I don’t understand…
I’ve never hinted that I want him to celebrate my birthday, so I don’t understand why he does this.
I can’t figure out how he feels, and the whole thing doesn’t sit right with me, so I’m posting this in case anyone has any insight.
Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
In my case, no matter how busy I am, I wouldn’t suddenly stop responding if the person mattered to me. So I think that papa may just be all talk, and that the questioner isn’t actually that important to him.
Honestly, at his age, it’s pretty pathetic to say, “I’m sad we can’t meet,” while claiming he can’t control his workload or schedule.
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Could it be because it’s his birthday month?
He’s an attentive papa (a male supporter) if he remembers something you only mentioned when you first met.
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It probably just means he happened to be too busy to meet that month.
I don’t think it necessarily has anything to do with your birthday. Some men may not celebrate your birthday even if they meet you that month—perhaps they forgot, or they assume your partner will celebrate it with you.
And if you’d like him to celebrate, I think it’s fine to ask when you meet the following month: “Can you celebrate my birthday today?”
That might help you tell whether he didn’t want to celebrate or was genuinely busy. (If he was just busy, he’ll probably still celebrate with you the following month.)
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Just because he avoids birthdays, calling him uncool is pretty harsh.
If someone said that to me, I’d no longer want to continue seeing them, so I think you should tell him directly.
Still, losing all respect for someone over something like that… After receiving an allowance from him for two years, don’t you feel any gratitude?
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It is concerning that he won’t explain why he’s busy.
If he genuinely cared about you, he’d probably say something like, “I’ve been busy with ○○ this month…” and desperately try to make excuses while still sending your allowance—or, even if he couldn’t transfer any money, he’d at least do something to keep you from walking away.
Besides, men who suddenly go silent, whether they’re busy or not, are often the type who lack a sense of responsibility. So I can understand why you don’t respect him.
You can end things, or keep seeing him casually without taking it too seriously. If it’s still bothering you, you could ask him directly why he stopped responding. If it were me, I don’t think I could hold back—I’d ask.
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I think you’re feeling exactly right.
He only wants to provide an allowance, while expecting cuteness, youthful skin, respect, and even pseudo-love from you.
Honestly, he sounds tacky, petty, and stingy as a person.
Akari
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Haha, what a fun arrangement you have going on.
It’s hilarious.（笑）
Well, I guess that papa doesn’t want to give you anything beyond your allowance.
Oh!
My mistake! I’m sure your birthday month gets incredibly busy every year.
Why not tell him the next time you see him, “I got my birthday month wrong. It’s actually next month”?（笑）
I wonder if he’ll be busy next month too.
How exciting.
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