I want to keep things transactional, but I tend to catch real feelings.
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I kept seeing one girl and started getting serious about her again, so I’m trying to date multiple girls. But that’s only made my favorite girl’s good qualities stand out even more, and I’m falling for her harder and harder…
For those of you who date multiple girls, are you able to spread your feelings around successfully?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
> It’s only made the appeal of the girl I truly care about stand out even more, and I’m getting more serious about her…
I think that’s perfectly fine.
I think it’s important to deepen the relationship so you don’t get cut off.
If you genuinely face her and put effort into the relationship, I don’t think she’ll leave.
Something I sometimes think about:
I occasionally see people say that they got hurt by serious relationships outside the club or by genuine romance, so they wanted nothing more to do with that and fled to the club’s money-based relationships as a kind of refuge. But if you don’t know how to handle women skillfully outside the club, then even if you run to the club, you’ll probably only be struggling on the surface without ever reaching their true feelings or core.
I sometimes think that women, just like men, want to be captivated by and guided by someone of the opposite sex. They want to trust their partner and be guided exactly as they wish, while also wanting to guide the other person exactly as they please. What selfish creatures we are.
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You seem to be so hopelessly deep in the rabbit hole that only one finger is still visible. Why not just take her in as your wife at this point?
Unless you’re already married?
In that case, try keeping around ten papa-katsu women. You’ll be so busy that you won’t have time for anything else, and you won’t have to worry about drowning in the rabbit hole anymore.
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I’m not someone who can completely separate feelings from the arrangement either. From the start, I made it clear that I’d be seeing multiple people, and I am—but rather than spreading myself thin, it feels like things have simply multiplied two- or threefold.
As long as no one becomes a stalker or gets overly attached, I honestly think it’s fine.
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I’m also genuinely in love with my favorite papa. I spread things out by dating multiple people.
It’s true that the more I meet other people, the more my favorite papa’s good qualities stand out. But when I can’t see him, being with someone is less lonely than being alone, so having multiple relationships has worked out well for me.
Marika
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Catching real feelings isn’t necessarily a bad thing. All of my papas (male supporters) have genuinely fallen for me, but we’ve maintained good relationships for years. As long as you’re compatible, I don’t think it’s a problem.
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I think the number of women you can date simultaneously while maintaining good mental health varies from person to person.
Personally, I feel that one woman locally and two in the Kanto area would be ideal, so I make offers whenever a spot opens up.
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I think you should avoid a serious, MMA-style genuine romance, but if it’s more like a pro-wrestling death match, I’m all for it. If you don’t understand the difference, watch a match by death-match wrestler Jun Kasai—you’ll get it.
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I only have one, but since I’m over 60 and more or less somewhere between a child and a grandchild in age, I’m completely free of serious romantic feelings—or rather, I just don’t develop them.
Still, perhaps because there’s an allowance involved, we’re quite close, at least from my perspective.
We’ve been seeing each other for four years now, and neither of us has gotten tired of it. Somehow, it’s just continued—casually and without much fuss（笑）
She hasn’t moved on to another papa (as far as I know), and she hasn’t gotten a boyfriend either. She seems to be enjoying being single.
I wonder if this is also contributing to the declining birthrate?
I feel like I’ve had more than enough practice and rehearsal（笑）
Are you young as well, questioner? Are you also in the “rehearsal” group?
Rehearsal is only rehearsal, after all. You have to put it into practice.
Are you already married?
If so, I think it’s still too soon for papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). You’ll have plenty of time once one of you has graduated from the relationship.
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I always have several, so I’m never seriously emotionally invested in any one of them.
I’ve been seeing my favorite for over a year, but new, wonderful women keep coming along, so most usually reach their expiration date after about six months.
Since the person asking is still in his 30s, he probably isn’t that much older than the women and can approach it more like a normal relationship.
Once you’re nearly 60, like me, even if you did develop serious feelings, you’d be more than a generation apart from your partner, and it’s obvious they’d be put off.
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I think I’m doing fairly well.
I try to build good relationships with other women too, so I’ll be okay even if things suddenly end with the person I click with the most.
My current problem is that I’ve ended up with too many women.
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