Tips
Oct 30, 2022 23:18
9 answers
Other
Greedy girls never know when to stop.
They’re just being selfish.
美惺（みさと）
?
Send a reverse offer to this responder
Other
It wasn’t quite possessiveness, but even when I was seeing multiple people, I think I was sensitive to whether my papa had other women and whether I was being valued.
Reading Mack’s answer made me realize how I truly felt deep down.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I only do it because I think it’ll make them happy.
👨 Male
Universe member
> He doesn’t seem like the type to be popular, which is why he is! lol
Mac was spot-on!
And regarding:
> “I hate not being number one to every man I’ve been involved with.”
I’ve actually been told, “I’m so happy you’re only with me.”
After reading Early’s answer too, I realized, “I hate not being number one.”
Ahh, so that’s what it is… It really makes sense now.
Other
I haven’t had enough relationships to really identify any clear patterns, but after openly stating that I was seeing multiple people, one person told me as things progressed, “I want to be your number one, and if you have time to see someone else, I’d rather you see me instead” (the part in parentheses is my interpretation).
I had a boyfriend at the time, and I was also seeing another papa.
In another case, after I had openly said I was seeing multiple people, the person told me as things progressed, “Seeing multiple people is normal, and I’m okay with it, but honestly, I don’t really like the idea of you seeing other girls.” Then, shortly after I had finished getting various things arranged, I was told, “It feels like too much pressure if I’m the only one.” It wasn’t phrased quite that clearly, but that was essentially the message.
I didn’t have a boyfriend or any other ongoing papa arrangements at the time.
Honestly, I don’t think I understand people’s psychology at all. There are so many factors, including the other person’s personality and both sides’ attitudes, so in my case, I feel that openly stating I’m seeing multiple people is ultimately pointless.
A～Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月１程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
In my case, I make it clear from the start that I date multiple people, so no one tries to control me.
If anything, it’s perfectly normal for the women I date to have other men as well.
Even the women you assume aren’t seeing anyone else are probably just hiding it well.
In other words, they’re not being controlling because there are other men involved. If that bothers you, why not make it clear from the beginning that you also date multiple people?
Other
Isn’t that beside the point?
As the other respondents have pointed out, it could be an issue of self-esteem, or she may have developed an unhealthy emotional dependence. There may be financial reasons too—perhaps she strongly wants to keep you, her customer, around, which is making her act possessive. Or maybe, based simply on her past relationships, she believes that becoming close to someone naturally means behaving that way. There are all kinds of possibilities.
If it bothers you, just cut ties. If you find her appealing enough that you can’t bring yourself to make a clean break, then the question is how to find a compromise. You could talk to her directly, but unless you’re fairly close, that would be difficult, right? Usually, people express their dissatisfaction through their attitude or actions—replying a little coldly, changing the timing, and so on. Communication isn’t just about words. Some even say that 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. I think it’s important to handle those things properly and find a landing point.
Or are you trying to claim that you want to unravel how the world works??
If you’re genuinely trying to understand female psychology, you should repeatedly conduct experiments scientifically. If an interesting interpretation is enough to satisfy you, then you’re in the realm of literature. You should discuss it with people who enjoy that sort of thing. Still, I’m worried because I can see where this leads when that preference takes priority and you end up sinking without ever finding a solution. If calling even those kinds of incidents “literature” is your thing, then perhaps it could be called a magnificent work of art created at the cost of one’s life. It’s unbelievably Showa-era. You might find happiness passionately discussing it over cigarettes, like Yukio Mishima, at a Renoir café in Jimbocho.
Taro
Other
Maybe she has a serious boyfriend or another papa (male supporter), and simply can’t stand being bumped down her own list of priorities.
It’s not jealousy or anything like that—maybe it’s pride?
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
If you’re seeing another guy, just pretend you’re not—he won’t find out anyway.