About hotel intimacy with a papa (a male supporter) who doesn’t use love hotels
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Even after I told him I’ve only had two COVID vaccine doses, he still asks me to get proof of a negative test
Honestly, it’s such a hassle and takes up my time. I wish he’d stop.
Am I being narrow-minded for getting irritated about this?
The allowance is so low I can hardly even bring myself to mention it.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
Whether I’m narrow-minded or not is all I care about; as for continuing the relationship, that part doesn’t matter.
So, are you asking whether you should continue seeing him/her going forward?
I think that if something—anything—irritates you, it’s probably best to assume you’re being narrow-minded.
That said, when people get irritated, there’s usually a good reason for it, so I don’t think they normally stop to wonder whether they’re being narrow-minded.
> Honestly, it’s a hassle, it takes up my time, and I wish they’d stop.
If that’s what you mean, then I understand. I think it’s perfectly normal to feel that way.
And if the allowance is low on top of that, the bigger question is why you’re continuing the relationship at all.
I do think you’d be better off ending it, but if there’s some reason you still want to continue, it may be okay to prioritize that.
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If you have a reason to stay with that man, then even if the allowance is low and he asks for proof of a negative test, you may have no choice but to continue seeing him.
But if there are better men out there and you’d be fine ending things, I recommend breaking up with him.
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Why are you seeing someone like that?
Could it be that you’ve started getting a thrill out of being mocked like this on Q&A sites?
You’re a total masochist.
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I’ve heard that quite a few people experience severe side effects after getting vaccinated. So maybe it would be less stressful to tell your papa (a male supporter) that you can’t get vaccinated or something, and look for a new papa (a male supporter) sooner.
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I imagine you’re hoping for an answer along the lines of, “You’re not being narrow-minded.”
Joe calls this kind of question “coercing people into saying, ‘That’s not true.’” In that sense, I do think the questioner is being narrow-minded. But it’s also very human, so I don’t feel inclined to make fun of you.
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I feel sorry for you, having to put up with someone like that for such a small allowance. I’d recommend ending things right away. It sounds like it could really hurt your self-esteem...
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The allowance is so low I can’t even say how little it is, so I’m wondering if he expects a negative test certificate too.
I think it’s fine to keep him around until you find another papa.
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I’m Potassium.
① An empathetic, agreeing perspective
② A critical perspective
③ Potassium’s own thoughts
Choose whichever answer you prefer.
①
Wow, he sounds like a truly awful man.
It’s really frustrating when someone doesn’t even consider the time and effort it takes to go get a negative test certificate and all that.
What does he think your time is worth?
You’re not being narrow-minded.
Maybe he’s just being stingy.
②
The man is paying for everything, and you’re still receiving an allowance, even if it’s low-paying, right?
The man spends his working hours earning money, and you’re receiving that money from him. Yet you can’t accept a little inconvenience, time, and effort?
I wonder if the company you work for pays you exceptionally well.
③
While writing① and ②, I was thinking: if you’re going to complain that the allowance is too low, why not earn the money yourself?
If you’re doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because you can’t earn enough, then instead of complaining about the amount, you should negotiate, find a new papa (a male supporter), or otherwise take care of the situation yourself.
And if money isn’t your goal, then there’s no reason to complain about the allowance in the first place.
You could also say that the man is spending time earning money to pay you your allowance, even though he isn’t spending that time with you—perhaps it happened in the past, but he’s done something to earn it.
Wouldn’t it be important to show some willingness to spare your own time and effort for a man who goes that far for you?
If he’s someone you can’t feel grateful toward, you should end things sooner rather than later, since it’s unfair to the man too.
That’s just my personal opinion.
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I can’t believe he had the nerve to say something like that to someone he’s dating.
You should just dump a man like that.
If you want to get off on the cheap, take a coupon and go to a brothel.
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