I imagine many people involved in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are business owners, and that many of the women are beautiful as well.

I think my mental fortitude is probably pretty strong. The bigger my company gets, the stronger I feel mentally. But as Kazu says, you can’t survive unless you’re strong, so I either have to keep getting stronger—or I’ll die. I also agree with what Taro says. I think I mentioned this in another answer somewhere, but I’m extremely selfish, and I love myself more than anyone else. You can probably build some mental strength through training, but how far you can go may come down to innate talent or the environment you grew up in.

People often say I look mentally strong… They even say I have the heart of an elephant’s heart, but I actually have the heart of an ant. I’m easily taken down and have been crushed many times… but once I make up my mind, I’m stronger than most business owners. That’s probably why I look so tough. You can’t survive papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) unless you’re strong. If you want to build mental strength, getting a job will make you stronger. Give it a try.

It sounds like you’re asking someone who seems mentally strong to share their secrets because you don’t have much confidence in your own mental resilience. First and foremost, become selfish. Put yourself first. Everyone else in the world is basically crap. If things turn against you, flip the board over like in shogi. If you really hate something, just walk away. Of course, if you have the energy, you can always pretend to be a nice person. But that’s just a kind of performance. When you’re truly backed into a corner, you’re the one who has to protect yourself. People are born alone and die alone. Even if someone you love says they understand you, they can’t understand you better than you understand yourself. In the end, you’re the only person who can love you the most. This isn’t some unusual way of thinking. If you really look at the mindset of professionals in any field, I think most of them are like this. The people who collapse are the ones who try too hard to meet everyone else’s expectations. You come first. You don’t have to say that to anyone else, but if you want to survive, make this your foundation. Second, move at your own pace. Even in a tough situation, there are ups and downs—times to attack and times to ease off. You see star soccer players walking during a match, right? Sometimes they appear briefly in the background while another player is making a long pass. They’ve judged for themselves that it isn’t their turn to act, so they rest. That’s actually very important. You decide when to make your sprint. Even if someone dumps a mountain of homework on you, don’t respond immediately. Pretend for a moment that you can’t handle it, build up some momentum, then send back an outstanding response. While the other person is intimidated, take another short break. Using that kind of crafty inside play can greatly expand the space in which you can survive. There are actually plenty of people who work more hours than the government’s stated overwork-death threshold and still seem perfectly fine. I think most of them manage because they’re moving at their own pace. Third, don’t overlook dangerous warning signs. It’s fine to work hard at your own pace. Feeling like things are tough, feeling tired, feeling sleepy—that means you’re still functioning normally. The truly dangerous point is when those feelings disappear and you start feeling like you can fight forever. I’ve heard that even in U.S. special forces, it’s considered dangerous when you stop feeling tired. Not being able to sleep or losing your appetite are also problems. When the basic sensations you need to stay alive start going wrong, that’s seriously dangerous. When that happens, switch to forced-shutdown mode. Once you’re experienced, you may be able to push yourself right to the limit and then recover enough to make up for it. But until you understand your own limits, it’s better to stop as soon as symptoms appear. I’ve seen many people break down mentally. Once you break, it can become a recurring weakness, and you won’t be able to push yourself as far as before. If you’ve never broken down, the best thing is not to break in the first place. Please keep working hard while taking care of yourself. Ah, maybe I was pretending to know more than I do! Sorryyy, teehee—like Laura. P.S. To the dating woman who commented on Mac’s post: Thanks for pointing that out. I was a little bothered by that final sentence myself afterward. I was talking about people who had thoroughly practiced the points I listed from one to three, were generally considered mentally strong, and thought of themselves that way too—until they finally broke. It may be hard for women to relate to, but it’s something like the punch-drunk symptoms a boxer develops. I was drunk and intoxicated by my own writing when I wrote it, but it was about something far down the road after pushing these ideas to their extreme, so I probably didn’t need to include it. Your image of a “mentally strong person” is exactly right, and I think that’s what the person asking the question was aiming for too. I hope the three points I mentioned will be useful as a reference. I may have more freedom than you two, but because I’ve been labeled as someone who’s “mentally strong and can handle anything,” people treat me carelessly. I get thrown into projects that are already on fire, then get yelled at and completely denied without even knowing what’s going on. Lately, I’m glad we’ve had more remote meetings. If I turn down the window size and volume, it just sounds like a bunch of tiny people making a fuss. That helps me conserve my mental energy. :) When you get beaten down and end up completely scorched, sometimes there’s nothing you can do. It’s fine to come stumbling out like a comedy skit character after an explosion, covered in soot with your hair standing on end, saying, “This is hopeless.” Don’t force yourself to keep going. Let yourself become a wasteland, cry alone, and admit that you’re struggling. Apparently, crying boosts your immune system. Men can’t always cry easily, so I’ve actually practiced crying before. lol Then, once you’ve become a wasteland, somehow weeds start growing again. As you said, that kind of strength exists in human beings. The points I wrote are meant to help bring it into action. You don’t need to reinforce your armor. Human beings are strong by nature. We’ve rebuilt ourselves countless times after disasters and wars. All you really need to do is prepare yourself so that strength can function even in ordinary times. Once you become capable of doing all that properly and start thinking, “Wait, am I basically a Super Saiyan now?” then I hope you’ll read the final paragraph of my original answer. Taro

I do think there’s a kind of mental strength in making decisions despite worrying about the consequences and the weight of the responsibility. But someone who acts like, “I’m the CEO!” refuses to admit mistakes, can ignore the cold looks from employees, and casually shifts the blame onto others is also mentally strong in a way, lol. The same goes for papa-katsu: a papa who proudly acts like, “I’m the one paying the allowance!” while completely ignoring the woman’s feelings is mentally strong in his own way, I suppose, lol. Sometimes being weak makes you strong, and being strong makes you weak, so it’s worth taking a closer look, lol. Words can mean the opposite of what they seem. Taking a breather through papa-katsu, lol? I’m not mentally strong enough to relax that much, lol. You’ve got to put in the effort where it counts, lol.

People often tell me I have a strong, even hardcore, mental state. But the truth is, I’ve dealt with mental health issues and have even had to take time off work. That’s who I am. In other words, most people are terrible at seeing what’s really going on. The people who tell me I’m mentally strong have no intention of helping me in the first place. They simply don’t believe that I might be struggling. The world can be cruel. I get the same impression from this question—it feels cruel. You don’t believe that papa (a male supporter) when he says he’s mentally fragile. I don’t want to go back to that hell, so all I’m doing is adjusting things somehow to keep myself from completely crashing. No one believes that either, though, haha. I’m not a business owner, so sorry if my input isn’t relevant.

I’m pretty fragile myself, so I’m not really sure, but… Like Mac, maybe developing a strong defense mechanism has made you come across as aggressive. You weren’t asking about me? Oh, I see. Lol.

Confidence also makes you mentally stronger. My weakness is younger women. I lose control right away, haha.

I don’t consider myself particularly mentally strong or especially beautiful. I get discouraged when things go wrong, and sometimes I wish I had been born more beautiful. But when I make a mistake, I think about what caused it, reflect on it, and try not to make the same mistake again. Life can be tough sometimes, but there are plenty of fun and happy moments too! So I try to keep smiling and stay positive.

I’m pretty mentally strong, but it has nothing to do with papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I think mental strength comes from how many tough situations you’ve managed to overcome.

I don’t make any particular effort to do so. I think you simply have to be strong to survive.