I'm sorry!!

If I were a woman doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I might take the plunge and go along with it at least once without saying a word. I’d think that move might lead to uncovering even more money. That said, I’d go in knowing my chances of winning were only about 10%. Sometimes you go in expecting to win and lose, while other times you go in expecting to lose and end up winning. And if it turned out I’d misread the situation, I’d light a cigarette the moment I parted ways with him, let out a wry laugh as I exhaled the smoke, and block him immediately.

I believe you were told during the interview that the two of you should discuss the allowance yourselves. That’s because the allowance differs from person to person, depending on their views and what the woman wants. Some people offer the same allowance for a trip, while others increase it because it’s a trip. Naturally, I think the latter type of man is more considerate of the woman. However, whether that arrangement feels acceptable also depends on the woman. > Will the allowance be increased for a trip? Some men won’t increase it, so I think you should confirm in advance. Something like: “How would the allowance work for the trip?” Ideally, it’s better to ask in person while watching his reaction, but given the circumstances, you’ll probably end up asking over LINE or something similar. > If he is willing to increase it, how should I negotiate? Since negotiations can fail, it might be better to confirm the allowance first, and if it’s lower than what you hoped for, simply say something like: “Something came up at work that day, so I won’t be able to go after all.” In other words, rather than negotiating, you could choose not to go without explaining the reason. If he realizes that the allowance was the issue, he may offer more, but I suspect most men wouldn’t pick up on that. If you feel he’s the kind of man you can negotiate with, it would probably be quicker to tell him the amount you want. If you calculate a one-night, two-day trip by the hour, you’d likely be together for at least 12 waking hours. If you’re usually together for three hours, you might want four times your usual allowance. On the other hand, if you think of it simply as two days, about twice your usual allowance might seem reasonable. However, some men may expect to go on the trip for the same allowance as usual. If you’re not comfortable with those terms, I think it would be better to say that you can no longer go for some convenient reason, as mentioned above.

It’s better not to go with someone you’ve only met once. If he’s a club member, he can travel with a woman he’s been seeing for a long time and has built a comfortable, trusting relationship with. So wanting to go with a woman he’s only met once is pretty unusual. (In my opinion, trips should be ones the woman wants to take; it’s better not to go on a trip the man himself is pushing for.) Also, it’s best for women not to bring up the allowance themselves—not just when it comes to trips.

Kazu has explained the question very thoroughly, and I agree with what he said. Personally, I don’t think I’d go on a hot-spring trip with someone I’d only met once. Rather than deciding based on whether the allowance is high or low, I’d go if I felt I could genuinely enjoy traveling with that person. I’d feel bad if they went to the trouble of paying for the trip and I didn’t enjoy myself…

It’s probably best not to go on a trip solely for the allowance. You won’t be able to enjoy the trip properly. That said, I also question a papa (a male supporter) who invites someone on a trip after meeting just once.

Whether he’ll increase the allowance depends on the individual. Some men apparently feel that there shouldn’t be any allowance because they’re already covering the travel expenses. Before trying to negotiate, I think you should first find out what the man actually intends to do about the allowance. That said, whether it’s okay for the woman to bring up the subject of an allowance also varies from person to person. Men who don’t bring it up themselves often seem to take offense when the woman does. Honestly, I think the moment you accepted the invitation without finding out how he felt about the allowance, you were already fighting a losing battle. What women do in situations like that varies too, so you’ll have to decide for yourself how you want to handle it.