I'm Mac, one of the respondents.

I’m late to the conversation. > “Because I’d choose the latter without hesitation.” Wait, what? That surprised me. Doesn’t that mean you’d only be able to masturbate from now on? You wouldn’t get into bed with women, or go to hot springs with them. In other words, you’d just keep ejaculating alone— and only get hard for that purpose. I never expected Mac to choose that option. If anything, I thought you enjoyed spending time with women, so you’d choose to be with them in places like the Magic Mirror van, hot springs, or a vacation home.

If I had to choose one, I’d go with ②. I can just buy an adult video at home and take care of myself. Once you’re over 70, you’ll eventually stop being able to get it up. When that happens, I’d aim for ① and, if I’m still around, enjoy traveling and good food.

I’m not in that situation, so this is only speculation, but… I agree that being unable to get it up and having someone stay close to you could make you feel humiliated. But I also wouldn’t like being able to get it up while women had no interest in me. Personally, even if I couldn’t get it up, I think I’d enjoy focusing on her and pleasing her until she lost control. Back before Viagra existed, that’s kind of how I imagined old men’s relationships with their mistresses. Maybe that image came from manga, haha. I might be more depressed about having my tongue removed because of tongue cancer than about losing the ability to get it up…

Female member Potassium here. To the person who asked the question, I’m sorry. If Mac-san’s explanation of male psychology applies here, then I apologize. From my perspective, that was simply how I’d think about a papa I’m currently seeing. Of course, I wouldn’t think that way about someone I’m not interested in—but since I also call him my papa, I hope you’ll forgive me. …Though that’s not really the point, is it? I’m sorry. Anyway, setting that aside, if what Mac-san means by > “You know how they say women are sexual beings from head to toe?” then I thought it would be fair to share my own view on points ① and ② from a woman’s perspective. To begin with, I understand that women’s sexual desire tends to peak around their late thirties or early forties, so I’m assuming I haven’t reached that point yet. For me, the ideal is having both ① and ②. In a relationship, I don’t think you can choose just one or separate them. I specify “in a relationship” because there’s another person involved—in my case, a man. And because there’s another person, my sexual desire can be fulfilled. The reason is that if I were only seeking ②, it would be much easier and more time-efficient to take care of things myself. I know what works for me, I could finish quickly and go to sleep, and there’d be none of the distracting thoughts that come with being conscious of someone else. In that case, I wouldn’t need to join a dating club in the first place. And yet, I deliberately seek out another person—not myself—and have sex within the context of a relationship. Maybe it’s instinctively about seeking new genes? Haha. I think my desire is tied to wanting not only to feel good myself, but also to make the other person feel good. Making someone else feel good gives me a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment as well. Perhaps that’s why taking care of myself alone isn’t enough. I don’t personally feel empty afterward, so I think the issue is something else. Even though I’m experiencing pleasure myself, being unable to bring a man to orgasm—or being called a “dead-fish woman”—still affects me somehow. Maybe it’s because I feel that my own desires aren’t fully being satisfied. That’s why I think a partner being able to finish is also for my sake, and why I want us to work toward it together. When someone seeks only ② in the most extreme sense—putting aside for a moment that I pictured Mac-san as a male anglerfish—personally, I think the final destination may not be having sex with someone of the opposite sex, but taking care of things alone. In that sense, when it comes to being active at a dating club, I don’t think ① and ② can be separated for me. After reading everyone’s answers, I’ve also started to wonder whether wanting to make a woman finish through technique might itself be a kind of fetish. Even self-centered technique might be a way to understand that the person is simply satisfying their own desires, so it can’t really be helped. I wouldn’t want to date someone like that, but if I were only looking for money, I might actually find that way of thinking acceptable. Haha. Anyway, that’s just my personal opinion. Sorry for the long post and my lack of vocabulary.

When it comes to club activities, I’m definitely in camp ②. I’m much more about ejaculation than emotional connection, so I’ll quit the club once I can no longer get it up. At first, I’d try to enjoy myself by getting my partner off with my hands, but it wouldn’t give me the same satisfaction as before. Even if someone stayed close and supported me, I’d only end up remembering my glory days and feeling empty. There are countless other ways to have fun and find companionship. Emotional connection is like a spice, sauce, or appetizer. It’s important in its own way, but if I can’t enjoy the main course, I won’t go to the restaurant. As long as I can still get it up, even if club women aren’t interested in me, I can manage with money—or, at worst, take care of things myself. That’s empty in its own way, but I feel it’s better than not being able to ejaculate. The day I can’t get it up is probably not far off. I wonder how I’ll feel when that time comes.

I’m really late to the party（笑） I’m definitely①. It’s not that I want someone to coddle me when I’m at my worst, though. Isn’t everyone happiest when all their abilities are functioning at full capacity? That’s why I spare no effort to maintain mine. If you take care of your body, it can serve you for life, and it would be a waste not to make the most of it. If I ever lost some function, I’d use my head and work hard to regain something equivalent, even if in a different form. I suffered a permanent disability in an accident when I was in college, but these days nobody notices unless I tell them. I do feel pain from time to time, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. So if you ask whether I’d be okay if I lost a function, of course I’d rather that never happen—but even if it did, I don’t think I’d see it as the end of everything. With that in mind, here’s my answer to the “impotent boyfriend” question. Writing it as “impotent boyfriend” instead of “impotent partner” makes it sound like you’re calling me out by name（笑）. Anyway, first of all, not being able to get it up as a man is a serious problem. They say that once you can get it up, the winds will be favorable—so there’s no room for debate there. But that’s a problem I should solve myself, and I should simply brush off the reactions of people around me while I’m struggling. What matters is the relationship, which is why a woman who stands by me scores major points. I don’t like being consoled and wouldn’t accept it（笑）, but I’d never forget that she tried. It can be fun to drive a woman wild with a fully functional member, even when you know she isn’t really interested in you—but I’d get bored quickly. If a woman stood by me even though I couldn’t get it up, I’d feel that a happy future was waiting for us once I solved the problem myself. So for me, it’s definitely①. Incidentally, even when everything is functioning normally, I’ve often found myself unable to get it up with a perfectly wonderful woman—maybe because we simply weren’t compatible. I worried about it quite a bit at first. I’ve come full circle and don’t mind it anymore, but one important factor in deciding whether to continue or call it quits was how the woman reacted at the time. So for me, this may have felt less like an impossible hypothetical and more like an ordinary, déjà-vu-inducing curry question（笑）. And with that, I’ll leave it there（笑）. Sorry for the long post. Taro

I don’t like either option. I can’t choose. That said, compared with Mac-san— Personally, I don’t think I’d want to be a single penis for women who respect me as a person or have feelings for me (and whom I also like), as if I’d be fine with losing everything else. Though maybe I could accept it if it meant I didn’t need any other women? It seems to me that my relationship and compatibility with a woman come before the penis itself. Hmm? I’d hate to be ignored, so if I absolutely had to choose one, it might be ①… maybe…

Maybe this is being framed here as some impossible hypothetical question, but both ① and ② absolutely exist in real life. I was talking with my beloved papa the other day, and I told him: “Even if we don’t have sex, I still adore you. And even as someone I only have sex with in a transactional relationship, you’re the best. We adore each other, the sex is amazing, and this connection is truly incredible.” So even if my beloved papa could no longer get an erection, I’d still love him. If the person who asked the original question was type ② but then could no longer get an erection, wouldn’t it be better to be treated kindly? Would you feel humiliated? That’s when kindness should really sink in!! (笑) If it would make him feel humiliated, then maybe his only option would be to leave the woman’s life of his own accord. Ah!!!! My former partner was type ②! That’s why he quietly disappeared. Wow. Thank you, Mac. I’d been wondering why all this time. I’m shocked. Marika Mac said: “On the contrary, I’d like to ask: Do women really have a desire to lose everything and live on as nothing but a vagina? What do you think, Marika? lol” I honestly don’t understand what that means. I’m not sure whether this answers what you’re saying, but— I want men to be attracted to everything about me: my appearance, the feel of my body, what it feels like to be inside me (though of course that part would remain as long as I still had a vagina), as well as my expressions, voice, and reactions. Seeing that makes me happy too, so I don’t want to become a creature that’s nothing but a vagina. I definitely wouldn’t want to be a queen ant or anything.

If I were faced with the ultimate choice between options ① and ②, I’d probably instantly let go of everything I couldn’t have and walk off in another direction. When something isn’t possible, I give up on it all at once and start thinking about something else I can do. I don’t cling to things that aren’t possible.

I don’t know either, lol. Anyway, if it’s ①, it’s not that I’d hate it, but I’d probably find something else I wanted to do and get absorbed in that instead, lol. People say middle and high school students throw themselves into club activities to distract themselves from sexual urges, but I wasn’t doing it for that reason back then, lol. When I was on the court or practicing, I was completely absorbed in it, lol. If that’s the kind of feeling you mean, then if I couldn’t get it up, I’d probably turn my attention to something else rather than stare at my private parts and lament, lol. If it’s ②, then wouldn’t I still try to approach women somehow? Even if they disliked me, I’d probably put my energy into improving myself so they might come to like me, lol. I think ancient China did create castrated men called eunuchs. I’ve tried imagining what it would be like if I were one, but I still don’t really get it, lol. If you still had sexual desire but couldn’t get it up, what would you do? Would you end up wanting to touch women forever without ever being able to finish? Honestly, you can’t know with those “what if” scenarios unless it actually happens to you, lol. When Mac says he clearly wants to become nothing but a sexual organ, I don’t really understand that either, lol. Is his ideal something like in *The Garden of Eden*, where you connect and reach ecstasy? Honestly, I don’t understand that one either, lol. But I do understand wanting to immerse yourself in something you love, so I don’t think it’s strange, lol.

I can’t choose just one or the other. It’s precisely because there’s an emotional connection that I want physical intimacy too, so I’d be unhappy without both（笑).

I think Mac is a pervert（笑） As for me, hmm… I’d probably prefer having someone around（笑） It’s fun even if they’re just there to talk with me, right? My wife and I have actually retired from sex, but we’re still very close（笑） And I’m also close with the woman I’m seeing, even though she isn’t my girlfriend（笑） Maybe I’m the pervert（笑）

I never imagined that men might feel that way. If men really do see it the way Mac-san said, then I’m truly sorry to the person who asked the previous question. I was simply thinking about what I would do if my own partner ended up in that situation, and that’s what led to my answer. I wasn’t trying to comfort them at all. I meant that I’m with them because I respect and care about them as a person—not because of that—and whether or not we had a physical relationship, I’d still want to be with them. If there was anything I could do, I’d want to help. I just hope the person who asked the previous question isn’t feeling too discouraged…