When you let the woman choose the restaurant, do you tell her your budget in advance?
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The woman I’m currently seeing is very particular about choosing the restaurant herself, and she often suggests upscale places that cost over ¥30,000 per person. However, all of them prioritize the location and atmosphere, while the food is just average. Honestly, since these places are expensive without being particularly good, I’d rather she choose somewhere a little cheaper if it’s not going to be delicious anyway.
I also know quite a few good restaurants myself, so I do make suggestions. But for her, the location and atmosphere matter more than the taste, and that’s the only area where we don’t see eye to eye when it comes to choosing a restaurant. (I have no other complaints at all.)
I really should have told her my budget from the beginning, but I never expected things to turn out this way. I’d like to somehow get things back on track.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂40s👑Universe male member
Since you have no other complaints, you may just have to overlook the issue with meals (っ﹏-*)
I don’t think it’s easy to meet a woman who checks every box.
From someone else’s perspective, it might even be a problem they’d envy♪
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You’re disappointed with the restaurants she chooses.
If your tastes are incompatible, you’re better off ending things.
That’s really important…
And neither of you should have to force yourselves to make it work.
Especially when it comes to high-end restaurants.
If your tastes in food don’t align, neither of you will truly enjoy the experience.
> The woman I’m seeing is very particular about choosing the restaurants herself.
If that’s what she enjoys, you need to make it enjoyable for her too—that’s what papa-katsu is about.
And unless you can empathize with that and enjoy it yourself, she won’t be thinking, “Next time, I’ll surprise him with an inexpensive place and make him happy.” She probably just thinks you’re boring…
Also, many restaurants costing over ¥30,000 are difficult to book and places people only visit once. There are plenty of restaurants like the one you described, so unless you have a relationship where you can discuss these things openly—and where she respects your palate—it’s difficult to have such an honest conversation. That makes it hard for you to start going to restaurants you actually agree on as well.
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At the very least, once a woman sees you as cheap, there’s no way to get things back on track.
If you can’t put up with this woman, I think you should end things and make the terms yourself from the start with the next one.
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For example, if we assume a budget of ¥10,000 per person, don’t you think that if you let the woman choose the restaurant, she’ll place even more emphasis on the atmosphere, with the food likely being worse as a result?
I doubt she’ll find a restaurant that offers amazing food at great value for ¥10,000.
If you’re still fine with that as long as it stays within the ¥10,000 budget, then I think you should let her continue making the reservations.
If you have complaints, don’t leave everything up to someone else from the start.
And if you do leave it to someone else, don’t complain.
That seems like common sense to me, but what do you think?
Marika
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If I choose the restaurant, I tend to pick the same kinds of places, and when my partner is busy, her appetite and preferences can vary depending on how she’s feeling that day. Sometimes she may want something lighter or care more about the quality or portion size, so I occasionally leave the choice up to her.
I’m not usually stingy when it comes to meals, so I don’t specify a budget. However, we often end up choosing a small-portion course, or perhaps because she’s being considerate, the cost is about the same as—or less than—what I would have chosen.
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Ah, I totally understand that.
Young women in particular tend to care more about how Instagram-worthy the food is and how convenient the meeting location is than the taste itself（笑）
In my case, I usually let the woman I’m seeing choose where she wants to go. She’ll often ask about the approximate budget, so I tell her. She takes that into consideration when choosing a place.
As for me, I just show up with my wallet in hand. Since the main purpose isn’t going out to eat, I’m usually like, “Well, this is fine!” The food is reasonably good, and I enjoy talking with her more than the meal itself.
I think it’s best to tell her your budget in advance.
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I haven’t told her that. To begin with, I didn’t just leave the choice of restaurant entirely up to her.
What that woman wants from a restaurant is probably the atmosphere and location, not the food itself. Don’t you think it’s presumptuous for someone she’s seeing for an allowance to try to dictate her preferences?
If you have any issues in the relationship, I think you should talk them through. And if they still can’t be resolved, then you can simply go your separate ways.
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