I’m the person who asked, “How many days before the date should I make an offer?”

Thank you for your question. Kurosaki from the Kansai Unit here. Of course, women can’t say this directly to men, but they also dislike dragging out small talk. (As a result, some women decline letter dating after joining the club.) On the other hand, if a man immediately starts discussing dates and times, women sometimes contact the club saying, “Why isn’t this a regular offer? Is he trying to save on the arrangement fee?” So it’s a delicate balance. Before meeting, you might consider sending her something via LINE Pay or PayPay as a thank-you for accepting the letter date. I think that would make her very happy!

> Are there any tips for making a letter date work? It takes a lot more than just one or two tips. Women may stop replying over the smallest thing, and it’s also quite possible for them not to show up on the day. I think letter dates are difficult unless you’re either exceptionally experienced—so experienced that you can say, “I never get stood up on dating sites or apps; I always manage to meet”—or the kind of person who can learn from failure, thinking, “I wonder what went wrong this time. This is something I can learn from,” even when a woman stops replying. A lot of men at Universe seem to assume that a woman will automatically come just because they’ve made an offer. But that’s not how it works. You need to put yourself in the woman’s shoes and use various strategies. In that sense, > “I think it’s a good idea to send her a Line Gift worth around 10,000 yen. Start the conversation from there.” seems like a useful tactic. Of course, I don’t think that alone will be enough. You’ll probably need to put effort into various other things as well. Since spending that much time on it would be more difficult, considering the question, it almost seems counterproductive.

First, shouldn’t you focus on quitting and making the life you spend that much time living more enjoyable and fulfilling? Even if you’re sought out as an oasis, it’s only a burden for the woman. I feel you should first have enough emotional and financial room—and enough happiness—to offer an oasis to the woman, including her allowance. Being able to use your time freely 24/7 is also one of the qualifications for being a papa (a male supporter). Aim to become a papa who’s surrounded by lots of children, relatives, and colleagues, yet is happy and free to move about as he pleases.

So that’s the background. I can definitely relate to how difficult it is when your time is precious—I’ve struggled with that too, lol. But rather than putting extra effort into how you make offers, I think you should first figure out how to secure your own time. For women, “I went to all this trouble to carve out this time!” is irrelevant and honestly not something they want to hear, lol. Once you’ve started seeing each other and she likes you, you may find someone willing to listen. That’s how you should prioritize things, lol. As for letter dates, they’re useful for saving time, but since you’re only exchanging messages with someone you haven’t even met yet, it’s best to limit them to arranging the date, time, and meeting place. Besides, it can give off the impression that you’re trying to save on the offer fee, so you really have to think of it as starting from a disadvantage, lol. So if your time is precious, I recommend making a regular offer.